


High (School) Society II

by TheOtherXOPrincess



Series: Glamour, Luxury, Money ... And Scheming [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: BadBoy!Finn (kind of), Decent!Rachel, F/F, M/M, Middle Class VS Upper Class Conflicts, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Prince!Sebastian, Princess!Santana, Stinking Rich!New Directions, Underage Drinking, Upper Class AU, teacher!Blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 48,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtherXOPrincess/pseuds/TheOtherXOPrincess
Summary: Parties, money, luxury, glamour and scheming – This is McKinley Academy, the one and only highschool for upper class children of politicians, billionaires or otherwise powerful people. Everyone envies those teens attending the elite school, thinking they have it all, but are their lives really as picture perfect as one might think?Rachel is devastated after Finn has broken her heart, but he is ready to fight for their love despite their class distinction. Kurt is still struggling with his sexuality but doesn’t want to let Blaine go. Santana’s royal family wants her to marry a wealthy man despite her being gay and her feelings for Brittany. Puck realizes that he loves Quinn, but his love doesn’t stand a chance cause James Hudson is planning to get her engaged to one of his grandsons. And what’s going on between Mercedes and Sam?Part two of the glamorous world of McKinley where all that glitters isn’t necessarily gold...
Relationships: Arranged Santana Lopez/Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson & Kurt Hummel, Mike Chang/Tina Cohen-Chang, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Past Kurt Hummel/Chandler Kiehl (one sided), Possibly Sam Evans/Mercedes Jones, Quinn Fabray/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry & Kurt Hummel & Mercedes Jones, Rachel Berry & Mercedes Jones, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Sam Evans & Mercedes Jones, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Series: Glamour, Luxury, Money ... And Scheming [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670197
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back again! Yes, I said it would take some time until I upload part two, but I will upload two chapters now because I'm gonna celebrate the Easter Holidays with my family & I'm not gonna be able to update for a while.
> 
> In this sequel, it won't be all about Finchel, other pairings will also get more relevant storylines...
> 
> Of course, this work is based on "Save You" by Mona Kasten, a german novel.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Kurt's brother was drunk. Really drunk.

For three days now, Finn was not really responsive. He had been doing nothing but having an endless party, downing bottle after bottle after bottle.  
Kurt didn't get how Finn could act like that. Apparently, his brother didn't care that their family life was in shards now. Their grandmother was dead, their parents where stuck on the Fiji Islands because planes weren't allowed to take off due to a hurricane and they weren't able to come over anytime soon. On top of that, there was no trace of grandfather.

"I think that's his way to mourn."

Kurt looked at Sam next to him. He was the only one who knew what happened. He had told Sam after Finn had been drunk at his party and made out with Quinn in front of Rachel's eyes.  
Someone had to help him bring Finn home without Andy or James noticing in what condition Finn was. Kurt knew Sam since they had been in kindergarten, he knew he could trust him with the secret although James didn't want anyone knowing about Elaine's death before the official press release took place. Not even Mike, Puck or Artie knew about it.

Without Sam's help, Kurt never would've gotten through the last three days. Sam had convinced James to leave Finn alone for a while and told Finn's friends not to pose any questions for now. They followed orders, but Kurt could see how it got harder for them to watch Finn destroying himself more and more.

While Finn was busy drowning his sorrow in alcohol, Kurt could only think about how things would be from now on. His grandmother was dead. He had already lost his mother, and his grandmother's death hurt so much more.

Something inside Kurt shattered after he found out about Elaine's death, and he could imagine that it was the same with Finn.

"I don't know how to help him.", Kurt whispered while he watched Finn downing another shot. It hurt so much seeing him suffering.

Finn couldn't continue doing that.

His brother eventually needed to face the reality.

And Kurt was convinced there was only one person who could help him.

For the millionth time, he retrieved his phone, dialing Rachel's number, but she didn't pick up. Again. Kurt wanted to be mad at her, but he just couldn't. If he caught Blaine with someone else, he would be mad at him or everyone who had something to do with him as well.

"Are you calling her again?", Sam asked skeptically. When Kurt nodded, he frowned.

Sam was convinced that Rachel only wanted Finn's money. Kurt knew that it wasn't true, but he couldn't talk Sam out of this. And although it was kind of frustrating, Kurt knew that it was Sam's way to care about his friends.

But then, Sam's face expression softened. "I acted like a dick on Wednesday. I really didn't know Rachel liked Finn, I thought she was just an amusement for him.", he mumbled bashfully.

"Finn doesn't listen to any of us. Maybe Rachel could do something so that he doesn't freak out completely." Kurt noticed that his own voice sounded too cold and distant. But inside him, it was the opposite.

He was in pain, there was a big lump inside him that killed him from inside. Nothing didn't make sense anymore.

Kurt had lost one of the most important people in his life. He didn't know how he could get through all that alone. He needed his brother.

But Finn was busy drinking like no tomorrow and the last time Kurt had seen his grandfather had been on Wednesday. He was busy planning the future of _Hummel-Hudson's_ with attorneys and advisers. For Elaine's funeral, he had only engaged a woman called Jane. Of course he had no time to organize the funeral of his own wife.

When he thought about his grandmother's funeral, Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. His eyes started burning but he quickly turned away from Sam.

"Kurt, dude…" But Kurt already left the room. The other boys couldn't see how he cried. After some time, they would start posing questions despite Sam's warning.

They were not dumb.

Finn never acted like that before. Even though he sometimes exaggerated, he knew when he crossed the line. His friends have already noticed that something was off now because Artie made disappear bottles of Scotch from the bar or Puck _accidently_ dumped the contents of his Whiskey glass into the toilet.

Kurt couldn't wait until the secret finally got out. In a few minutes, the announcement of Elaine's death would be public, and the whole world would know about it.  
He felt sick when he thought about the headlines and paparazzi in front of his home.

Kurt somehow stumbled to the library, holding on to the bookshelves. Right there on the back was an armchair, next to the window.

He always went to this place when he wanted to withdraw from everything all the years. Kurt sat down on the chair, hugged his knees and allowed the tears to fall.

Everything seemed like a never-ending nightmare to him. Kurt wished he was sixteen again where his grandmother was still alive, and Blaine was allowed to take him in his arms whenever he felt bad. He wiped his eyes with his hands and retrieved his phone.

Again, he tried calling his dad, and then Carole, but there was only voice mail. Not even his parents were there when he needed them the most.

Blaine was still among his favorite contacts on his phone although they didn't talk for months. He still didn't know Kurt's grandmother was dead, but Kurt didn't call him because Blaine didn't want him to.

Over two years, they called each other every day, and then, it just stopped all of a sudden. It was like a cold withdrawal for Kurt. And now, there was a relapse. Like on autopilot, he dialed Blaine's number. Blaine immediately picked up.

"No calls anymore, we arranged that.", Blaine said quietly. Hearing his voice was too much for Kurt. He needed to sob, pressing his hand in front of his mouth so that Blaine couldn't hear it.

But it was too late.

"Kurt?"

He couldn't answer. He had to breathe fast and uncontrolled.

Blaine didn't hang up. He stayed, making quiet, reassuring sounds. It kind of helped Kurt calm down, and he pressed his phone closer to his ear.

Around Blaine, Kurt always felt so save. He was his rock. Thanks to him, Kurt could leave the catastrophe with Adam behind and start a new future back then.

Hearing his voice helped him compose himself. Kurt didn't know how long he sat like that, but after some time, there were no tears left to cry.

"You know, I wish I could come over to you to be there for you right now.", Blaine whispered, his voice was quiet and painful.

"I know.", Kurt whispered back.

"But you are aware that I can't."

In the parlor, something shattered, and someone screamed. Whether it was out of pain or joy, Kurt had no idea. But he couldn't allow Finn to hurt himself physically.

"Sorry I called you.", Kurt said, broken, and ended the call.

His heart ached when he got up, looking after his brother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rachel Berry was sick.

Under normal circumstances, Mercedes would think it was nothing special, it was December and freezing cold outside, and people were coughing or wiping their noses everywhere. It was only a matter of time to get sick.

But – Rachel was never sick. Like ever.

After Rachel didn't show up at school, Mercedes wasn't skeptical at all. She thought that the application procedure of Harvard and NYADA must have been tiring for Rachel and that she needed to rest. But after three days, Rachel still didn't show up. Even if she had the flu, Rachel would drag herself to school, she was too ambitious to skip classes.

Now, Mercedes was worried. Something was off. She had heard in the news that Elaine Hummel died on Monday.

Did Rachel know that?

Was it the reason why she was acting like that?

Mercedes needed to talk to Rachel, she had to find out what was the problem. She retrieved her phone from her pocket, dialing her number again.

Of course, Rachel didn't pick up. And Mercedes had texted her one hundred texts by now.

On Wednesday, Rachel had texted her that things with Finn were alright again, and now, after Finn needed her the most, Rachel decided to stay at home.

Things didn't add up. And she would find out the reason.

After the event management club, Mercedes started her car and drove to Rachel's place, determined to find out what the hell was wrong.

* * *

Her dads were knocking on her door again.

Rachel wished she was strong enough to send them away. But she was too upset to do anything.

"Rachel, its Mercedes." Rachel looked up. She was sure Mercedes had tried to call her all the time. Why didn't people just leave her alone?

She just wanted to lie in her bed until the end of her life. She felt so…weak and without energy. Her life sucked.

"Rachel, can we talk?", Mercedes asked softly.

"I'm not in the mood for talking about Finn. Go away", Rachel croaked.

Mercedes took a deep breath."Your dads just told me you left with Kurt on Wednesday. Did he tell you?", she asked carefully.

"What do you mean? That Finn is a douchebag?", Rachel answered bitterly.

Mercedes sighed. "Rachel…did you even read my texts? Or check the news?"

Rachel gulped. Was there something she didn't know? "No…I didn't check my phone since Wednesday. Or watch the news."

"Then you really have no clue what's going on."

Rachel opened her door. "Mercedes, what happened?", she asked.

Mercedes entered, leading her to the desk. "You should sit if you learn the news."

The brunette slowly followed orders. That didn't sound good. What happened to Finn? Did he get into an accident? Was he hurt? There were so many horrible scenarios in her head right now.

"Tell me.", she urged Mercedes.

"Elaine Hummel died last Monday."

Rachel needed a few minutes to realize what she had just said,

_Elaine Hummel died last Monday._

Finn's grandmother was dead. Since Monday.

Impossible that Finn knew about it that night.

No, he and Kurt must've learned it on Wednesday too. Rachel could hear Mercedes talking, but she didn't concentrate on her words. How could James Hudson not tell his grandchildren about the death of their grandmother?

Finn and Kurt must've been devastated. Now, Rachel remembered Kurt's swollen, red eyes when he suddenly showed up on her porch and asked about Finn.

The emotionless face expression of Finn.

The moment when he jumped into the pool, destroying everything they had built up the previous night.

"Rachel? There is other news. Barba Streisand committed suicide in a bathtub.", Mercedes just said.

Rachel nodded. "Okay."

The black girl crossed her arms. "Are you even listening? Look, I know this is shocking for you, but Finn needs you now, whatever he has done to you. When was even the last time you checked your phone?"

Rachel shrugged. Mercedes grabbed her phone and unlocked it. "Hey! How do you even know my password?", Rachel wondered.

"Please, white girl. RachelBerryIsBarbraStreisand? That was too predictable."

Mercedes cocked her eyebrows. "Someone texted you nonstop.", she gasped, showing Rachel the display.

_Unknown number: Rachel. I'm so sorry. I can explain everything_

_Unknown number: Please come back to Sam or tell me where you are, and Andy can pick you up_

"Is it Kurt?", Mercedes asked incredulously. Rachel nodded numbly.

_Kurt: Grandmother died_

_Kurt: Finn is freaking out_

_Kurt: I don't know what to do_

Both girls were silent for a while. "There was a press release half an hour ago, and know, everyone knows it.", Mercedes said quietly.

Somehow, Rachel got up. "I have to be by his side now."

...

It was the first time Rachel was at the place of the Hummel-Hudsons. A gate was in front of the driveway, a dozen journalists where in front of it with their cameras and microphones.

"Those bastards", Mercedes spat, parking her car next to a tree near the gate. Immediately, the reporters came running over to them and Mercedes locked the car from inside.

"Call Kurt so that he can open the gate." Grateful, Rachel nodded and followed orders. Luckily, Mercedes was by her side now, keeping a clear head. She didn't know what she would've done if it wasn't for her.

After some seconds, Kurt picked up. "Hello?"

"Mercedes and I are in front of your house. Could you please open the gate?", Rachel asked, hiding her face from the cameras.

The journalists and reporters are in front of the car, asking questions she didn't understand.

"Rachel? What…?"

Someone started hitting the pane on Rachel's side. The girls flinched.

"As fast as possible maybe?", Mercedes shouted.

"Wait a sec.", Kurt said and hung up.

After some seconds, the gate opened, and someone approached their car.

It was Andy.

The sight of the chauffeur made Rachel's heart skip a beat. She had to think about the day in Columbus which started off good but had a bad ending. And about the night Finn took care of her after that incident with the pool.

Andy went past the reporters, motioning Mercedes to open the window.

"Drive through the gate to the house, Miss. Entering the property is a criminal act for those people, they won't follow you."

Mercedes nodded and after Andy made the paparazzi step aside, she drove to the driveway. The driveway was ample, there was an alley of trees and shaped bushes with frost covering. The mansion was three-storied and square-shaped. People could see on the first sight that wealthy people had to live there.

Mercedes stopped the car next to an expensive looking Lamborghini. Outside, it was freezing cold and the two girls immediately went to the entrance. Before the entered, Rachel turned to Mercedes. "Thanks that you brought me to this place.", she said quietly.

Rachel was grateful that Mercedes was there now. Two years ago, she never would have felt this way because McKinley and private life had been seperated by Rachel and she never would have told Mercedes private stuff.

That had changed, primarily because of Finn.

Mercedes squeezed her hand. "That's no problem, white girl.", she answered softly. "And I also care about Kurt anyway."

They went to the door and Kurt opened it before they could ring. He looked like he didn't do anything than cry all those days. And now, Rachel knew why.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt.", Rachel said. He bit his lip and looked down. At this moment, Rachel didn't care they didn't know each other that much. She went over to him and pulled him into a hug. If she had known on Wednesday what was going on, she never would've left him alone.

After some seconds, Kurt pulled away with tears in his eyes. Mercedes rushed over to him, hugging him as well.

"I'm so, so sorry, boo.", she said, stroking his back while his tears were falling down her coat. Rachel put a hand on his shoulder.

"Can we do something for you?", the brunette asked carefully.

Kurt shook his head. "Please bring my brother back to senses. He freaks out. He..." his voice was raspy and he needed to clear his throat.

"I've never seen him like that before. He is destroying himself and I really don't know how to help him."

After those words, Rachel's heart started aching. She needed to be by his side. She needed to hold him in her arms.

"Where is he?"

"Sam and I dragged him to his room. He just passed out." Rachel flinched.

"I can bring you to his room if you want to.", Kurt went on.

"I will stay here.", Mercedes said. "The boys are in the parlor if you want to join them. I will come later.", Kurt told her, pointing at the other side of the foyer.

Now that he said that, Rachel noticed the silent music coming from one direction. Mercedes nodded, squeezing Kurt's hand before going to the parlor.

Kurt and Rachel went up the stairs to the next floor. There was a long hallway, and so many doors. How was it possible that only one family was living there?

"Here it is", Kurt mumbled, pointing at a door in front of them. He turned to Rachel. "I think Finn really needs you now."

He shortly touched her arm. "Rachel…There was nothing between Quinn and Finn, only that kiss." Rachel stiffened.

"Finn came out of the pool and immediately passed out on a chair. I know he can be dumb sometimes, but…"

"…Kurt", Rachel cut him off.

"…he wasn't himself."

Rachel shook her head. "That's not what I came for." She couldn't think about it now. If she did, then the anger and disappointment would be bigger, and she wouldn't be able to enter his room.

"I don't want to hear it now."

Kurt looked like he wanted to answer her back, but then, he just sighed. "I just wanted you to know that."

Then, he turned on his heel and went back to the staircase. Rachel looked after him until he disappeared.

Hesitantly, she opened the door to his room. The room had to be as big as the entire first floor of Rachel's house. On her right, there was a spacious desk, on her left, there where bookshelves with many books and some pictures. There were two other doors, Rachel assumed that one had to lead to an en-suite bathroom, the other to his closet.

In the middle of the room, there was a sofa and an expensive looking carpet. Carefully, Rachel crossed the room. She immediately spotted Finn.

He was lying on his bed, and she went closer until she could see his face.

She gasped.

Rachel thought that Finn would sleep, but his eyes were open. He looked so lifeless; his face was without energy.

She walked over to him. Finn didn't even react. The smell of alcohol was in the air and Rachel had to think about Wednesday, but she blocked out those memories. She wasn't here to think about her hurt feelings. She was here because Finn just lost his grandma.

Carefully, she sat down on his bed. "Hey Finn", she whispered.

He flinched like he just woke up and fell hard. Now, he carefully turned his head to her direction. There were dark circles under his eyes, his lips were dry. He looked like he only drank alcohol for days.

After he had kissed Quinn, Rachel was livid. She wanted revenge for her broken heart. But to see him like that wasn't satisfying at all.

It was the opposite, actually.

Now, she could feel his pain and how it made her feel down. She was desperate because she didn't know what to do.

Carefully, Rachel lifted her hand, caressing Finn's head and then his cheeks. He felt so cold and fragile right now.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Finn held his breath.

Nobody dared to move for a while.

Then, Rachel sat up, taking her hand away.

In the next second, Finn grabbed her by her hips. He buried his fingers into her skirt and buried his face into her lap. Surprised by his movement, Rachel froze.

But then, Finn started sobbing. She pulled him into a hug, holding him tight. There was nothing she could say now. She had never lost a beloved person before.

But she could be there for him. She could stroke his back and share his tears, showing him he wasn't alone.

Now, Rachel realized that she had assessed the situation in a wrong way. She thought she could erase him from her life easily. She thought she could just forget Finn.

But at this moment, after she realized what his pain did to her as well, she knew it wouldn't happen that fast.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again, yay!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

The walls were spinning, but Finn could feel Rachel's hands on his body. She was sitting on his bed and he was half lying on her. Her arm was around his shoulders and she was stroking his head softly.

Finn had no idea how many days had passed. When he tried remembering something, there was only a blackout. There were only two things in his head:

Firstly: Grandmother was dead.

Secondly: He had kissed another girl in front of Rachel's eyes.

No matter how much alcohol he drank – He would never forget Rachel's face expression. She had looked so hurt. Like he had just destroyed her world.

He buried his face further into Rachel's waist not only because he was scared she would stand up and leave at any moment, but also because he feared that his tears would come back.

But none of that happened. Rachel stayed, and apparently, he had no tears left to cry. He had a feeling his soul died with his grandmother.

That would explain why he did that to Rachel.

Why did he do that?

_What was wrong with him?_

"Finn, you need to breathe.", Rachel whispered. Now that he said that, Finn realized that he really stopped breathing. He didn't know how long he had done that.

He took a deep breath and breathed out. Not so hard.

"What happens to me?" It felt exhausting to whisper those words, like he just yelled.

"You are mourning", Rachel answered, stroking his hand.

"But why?" He sat up because his chest started hurting. His whole body was aching.

"What do you mean?" Her glance was warm, and Finn wondered how she could look at him like that after he had made that mistake.

"Why I am sad. I mean I didn't even like her that much." Finn froze after he had said those words.

Did he really say that? What the hell was wrong with him?

Rachel took Finn's hand, squeezing it. "You lost your grandmother. It is normal to be upset if someone dies who was really close to you."

Rachel didn't sound that convincing, showing Finn she had no clue how to act in that situation. Nevertheless, she was here by his side and she was trying. Finn felt like he was in a dream.

Maybe it really was a dream.

"What happened here?", Rachel whispered, lifting his right hand. Finn looked at his hand. There were bruises and dry blood on his knuckles.

Maybe it wasn't a dream. Or a really realistic one.

"I have beaten grandfather." Finn didn't feel anything after he had said those words.

Yup, something was very wrong with him.

Everyone knew that a sane person didn't raise a hand against their grandparents.

But in that moment, after James had told him and Kurt about the death of Elaine, so emotionless and cold, that had been the final straw for Finn.

Rachel lifted his hand, kissing the injuries softly. Her touch was balm for his soul. However, Rachel looked as sad as he felt at the moment.

Finn didn't know whether it was because of Elaine's death or because he had hurt her. Rachel didn't deserve his behavior. Finn should've done something when Quinn wanted to kiss him.

But instead, he wanted to prove to everyone that he was a cold dick who didn't care about the death of his grandmother. Pushing Rachel away like that had been gutless.

And it was the biggest mistake of his life.

"I'm sorry.", Finn whispered. His throat was dry, and he needed a lot of force to say that. "I'm sorry about what I have done."

Rachel stiffened.

"Rachel…"

She shook her head. "Don't. That's not what I came for."

"I know I made a big mistake, I -"

"- Finn, stop it.", Rachel said insistently.

"I know you have no reason to forgive me, but I…"

Rachel's hand trembled when she let go of Finn's. Then, she slowly got up.

"I can't do it now, Finn.", she mumbled. "I'm sorry."

Rachel didn't turn around when she crossed the room and quietly closed the door behind her.  
Finn gritted his teeth when his eyes were burning and he started sobbing again.

...

He didn't know how long he had laid in his bed staring at the ceiling, but after some time, he got up and went downstairs.

Outside, it was already dark, and Finn wondered whether the boys were still there. Before he entered the parlor, he could hear quiet voices.

"What he is doing isn't normal anymore.", Puck mumbled. "He can't binge drink like that."

"I don't get why he doesn't talk to us. We are his closest friends", Mike said.

"If I were him, I didn't want to talk either, now." Artie answered, thoughtful.

"We should've intervened when he crossed the line.", Puck said. "Until today, we all thought he just wanted to celebrate because of Harvard."

Nobody said anything for a while. "If he doesn't want to talk, we have to accept it.", Puck went on.

Artie snorted. "And watch how he destroys himself? No way."

"You can take away the alcohol", Mike mumbled. "But his grandma is dead. And as long as he doesn't accept it, we can't do anything."

These words sent cold shivers down his spine. They knew it. Finn felt sick when he thought about how he had to look into their compassionate faces soon.

He didn't want that.

He wanted things to be normal again.

But Rachel's visit had shown him that it was time to face the situation.

So he took a deep breath and entered the parlor.

Puck just wanted to say something but gritted his teeth when he spotted Finn. The quarterback went straight to the bar and took a bottle of Whiskey.

There was no way he could go through that crap sober.

Finn poured the alcohol into a glass and downed it. Then, he turned to his bros. Everyone but Sam was there. Although they already knew it, it felt right to say those words.

"My grandmother is dead."

It was the first time he said it.

And it hurt so much more than expected, the alcohol didn't really help.

That's why he didn't want to talk about it with them. He had never felt more vulnerable.

When Finn looked up, Puck stood in front of him. He pulled him into a hug. Tired, Finn laid his forehead on his friend's shoulder. Artie and Mike came over to them (or rolled in Artie's case) and laid their hands on Finn's shoulder.

They didn't need words now.

After a while, Puck directed Finn to the sofa, Artie handed him a glass of water.

"That sucks, man", Mike murmured, sitting down next to Finn. "And I'm really sorry."

Finn couldn't look up or say something, so he just nodded.

"What happened?", Artie asked after a while.

Finn took a sip of his glass. It seemed to help him.

"She…she had a stroke while we were at Harvard."

Nobody said anything. Finn doubted that they were even breathing. Maybe his bros knew that his grandmother died, but not how.

"Grandfather told us after we returned. He didn't want us to mess up the interviews." When he had to think about it, he had to ball his fists.

Mike put his hand on his shoulder. "We kind of knew that something bad must have happened.", he mumbled after a while. "You never acted like that before. But Kurt said nothing, and we couldn't talk to you…"

Artie cleared his throat. "Today in the afternoon there was a press release that's why we know it."

Finn gulped. "I didn't want to think about it."

"It's okay, man", Puck said quietly.

"And I was scared it would be real if I said it out loud."

Finn lifted his head, looking into the faces of his friends. Artie's eyes shimmered with tears, Mike and Puck had paled.

He didn't bear in mind that the news would be horrible for his bros as well. Suddenly, he realized how selfish he had acted. He had not only ignored the reality and hurt Rachel, but also let down his friends and Kurt.

"We're gonna get through this. You are gonna get through this.", Puck said. Finn followed his gaze and saw Kurt and Sam standing on the doorway. Kurt's cheeks and eyes were reddened, and Finn was sure he didn't look better.

"You guys are not alone. You have us, okay?", Puck went on, squeezing his shoulder.

"Okay.", Finn answered, although he had no clue whether he could believe them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's kinda depressing. But it will get better, I promise!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update in exchange for the long waiting time^^
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Andy entered the hallway when Kurt was about to check his outfit one last time. "Are you ready for the departure, Sir?", he asked carefully. "Mr. Hudson and your brother are waiting for you in the car."

Kurt didn't answer. Instead, he checked his tie and his hairdo. That woman, Jane, had not only organized Elaine's funeral, she also made sure that he, Finn and James had been styled by a top stylist.

Now, he had more make up on his face than on each shooting he and Finn had ever done for _Hummel-Hudson's_.

"No.", Kurt answered after what felt like an eternity, but he turned around anyway and went to the exit. Andy followed him, not saying anything.

The front yard of their estate was covered with frost which glittered a bit in the sun. Carefully, Kurt went down the steps and got into the black limousine which was parked in front of the mansion. Andy opened the door for him, Kurt thanked him before he got in and sat down next to Finn.

The mood was bad inside the car, neither Finn nor his grandfather were noticing Kurt getting in. They were all dressed in black suits which had been designed for that day only.

Because of the dark color of the suit, Finn looked even paler. The stylists tried to bring some color on his face, but it didn't quite work. On James, on the other hand, it seemed to work wonders; Kurt couldn't see the bruise under his eye anymore.

Kurt shook his head when he saw Finn and James: His grandfather was at odds with Finn, there was no trace of his dad and his stepmom. What a perfect family.

Andy started cursing under his breath. The entrance of the cemetery was full of reporters and journalists.

Kurt leered at Finn, but his face was blank when he put on his sunglasses, waiting for Andy to open the door for him. So Kurt put on his own sunglasses as well. He felt sick when he saw the paparazzi.

Two security-men helped him get out of the car. His knees felt weak and when they went to the chapel, Kurt felt like he had been shocked. The journalists and reporters were shouting after them, but expect of his and Finn's names, he didn't understand anything.

Kurt ignored them and quickly kept on walking.

At the chapel, the staff of the cemetery opened the door for them so that they could enter immediately. The first thing he saw was the coffin which was on the altar. Kurt shuddered. He didn't want to imagine that his grandmother was lying inside that thing.

A chestnut-haired woman was standing beside the coffin. She was wearing a long, black coat and black high heels.

"Aunt Mildred?", Kurt croaked. The woman turned around. Mildred was five years younger than his deceased mother and with the pale skin, the green eyes and the brown hair, they really looked alike.

"Kurt." She looked so sad, as sad as he felt for days. Kurt wanted to go over to her and take her in his arms, but before he could move, James took him by his arm. His glance was ice cold when he looked back and forth between his grandson and his stepdaughter.

James shook his head, dragging Kurt away to their seat places. Something inside Kurt ached. This was his grandmother's funeral. She would have wanted that he was there for his aunt although their mother-daughter relationship wasn't the best.

Kurt turned around, searching for his aunt with his eyes. But she had disappeared in the crowd.

...

A bunch of security people went with Finn, Kurt and James to the tombstone so that the reporters didn't come near them. Kurt felt numb when they neared the spot where grandmother was going to be buried. He had stopped listening to the pastor since he had opened his mouth. It just hurt too much.

When the coffin was about to be buried, Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe anymore.

He had to go through that when his mom had died more than ten years ago.

And now, it was his grandmother's turn.

That was just too much.

Kurt felt sick. He pressed his hand on his mouth, swaying to the side.

"Kurt?", Finn voice said from afar. Kurt shook his head. He needed to remember what his grandfather had said before the funeral.

Stand upright, put off the sunglasses for only thirty seconds, no tears. James didn't want more drama for the paparazzi.

Kurt really needed to get his act together. He tried not to think about his grandmother.

That he could never ask her for advice again.

That she would never bring him a cup of tea to his room when he was up until late at night to study.

That she would never hug him again.

That she wouldn't be there when he came out officially.

That Kurt was afraid to lose Finn and his grandfather as well because his family was slowly falling apart.

A sob escaped his lips. He pressed his lips together so that nobody could hear it.

"Kurt", Finn repeated, more insistent, moving closer to him so that their arms were touching. Kurt looked up. Finn had taken off the sunglasses and was looking at him, concerned.

"Screw grandfather.", he whispered to Kurt. "If you want to cry, just do it. Okay?", Finn said softly, also wiping away some tears. His make up was a mess now.

Those words made the walls inside Kurt fall down completely. And he didn't do anything about it. Finn put his hand on Kurt's right shoulder, squeezing it. Kurt leaned his head on his shoulder, allowing the tears to fall on his brother's coat while the coffin was buried.

* * *

On Wednesday, Rachel went to school again. Although Mercedes gave her notes to her on the weekends, she had difficulties during lessons.

Now, during English classes, she didn't understand anything. Mr. Anderson didn't seem to care. He was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes. Rachel wondered whether he had to think about Kurt as often as she had to think about Finn.

When she went to the cafeteria on lunch break, she was tired as hell.

"Are you okay?", Mercedes asked her when they were sitting on their table. "I'm never gonna skip classes ever again", Rachel groaned.

"That's no problem for you, white girl. You're such a nerd, after one week, you will be the best again."

Rachel just nodded numbly.

Mercedes tried to distract her, telling her what she had missed in glee or in the event-management club. After they were done eating, Mercedes went to the toilet and Rachel was about to leave the cafeteria. On the wall was leaning a girl Rachel didn't know. She was talking to a guy but stopped talking when she spotted Rachel. Her eyes went wide and she nudged the other guy.

"Aren't you the girl that had been thrown into a pool at Sam Evans' party?", she asked, walking over to her.

Rachel flinched. That dumb pool and these horrible memories about it! Rachel wanted to go past them, but the girl went into her way.

"Finn Hudson carried you out. There are rumors that you are his secret girlfriend. Is it true?", she went on.

"Leave me alone.", Rachel hissed. She was so not in the mood for talking about it.

The guy also came over. "So it is true.", he said, hands on his hips. "Admit it!"

"If it had been true, she would have accompanied him to the funeral, duh", the girl smirked.

"Yes, that's why it is _secret_. Maybe she is one of Hudson's dirty secrets. You know how much of those he has."

Something fell down.

Rachel had dropped her food tablet, the peas of her lunch were rolling around on the floor, the plate was in shards.

She was too perplexed to answer those idiots back now. She felt numb.

"Hey! Leave her alone, you hobbyless losers!", someone suddenly shouted. Rachel turned around. Next to her, Santana was standing, arms crossed. The boy and the girl bowed their heads and quickly left.

Rachel turned to Santana. "Thank you.", she said.

"You okay, Manhands?", Santana asked her. It was the first time she talked to Rachel since she threatened her because Rachel caught her making out with Brittany. Although the Latina tried to put up a cold facade, Rachel could see something like...concern in her eyes.

"Yes. And thank yo…" Before Rachel could end her sentence, Santana turned on her heel, walking away.

The brunette frowned.

Maybe Santana had a heart after all even if she tried to hide it.

…

During the meeting, Rachel realized she was only staring at Finn's empty place where he sat when he was forced to take part of the meetings.  
Everytime she thought about him, it felt like someone would rip her heart out of her chest.  
Rachel was so mad at him.

How could he do that to her?

_How?_

While she felt sick when she thought about letting anybody but him near her, he kissed another girl without hesitating.

And what was even worse, was that she was not only mad at him, but also felt pitiful and sad when she thought about Finn.

He had just lost his grandmother. His parents weren't able to be by his side now. When she was angry with him, she also felt bad although she didn't have a reason to feel like that.

It was so exhausting, and when she went home after school, it was like her contradictory emotions inside her were fighting against each other.

She was too tired to put up a happy façade for her dads. Since they learned that Elaine Hummel was dead, they were handling her with kid gloves. Although she hadn't told them about Finn, they knew that something else had to be wrong.

Finally, she could go to bed. Although she was tired as hell, she couldn't sleep. She squinted her eyes, trying to sleep, but everytime she did it, she only saw Finn's goofy face.

Cursing, Rachel threw her blanket aside and got up, walking over to her desk. She grabbed her laptop and went back to bed.

And then, she opened the browser and googled Finn Hudson.

2 098 483 results within 0.57 seconds.

Oh boy.

Rachel clicked on the pictures. There were pictures of Finn in tailormade _Hummel-Hudson_ suits. Photos with Finn next to the car shops of his parents. And Finn next to his grandfather while they were playing golf. Finn next to Kurt when they were modelling for their family's firms.

But there were also not so nice photos of him. There were a lot of blurred phone photos where a younger Finn left a nightclub, holding hands with women in their mid-twenties. He looked tired and drunk. Or where he partied with his friends with a white substance on his nose.

There was a big difference between those photos and the perfect ones which had been taken on galas, where he was standing next to Kurt and his grandparents.

Rachel went back to the other results of the Internet. There were a lot of articles about Elaine Hummel's sudden death. She continued scrolling until she found Finn's Facebook account. Like on autopilot, Rachel opened this website.

His profile was a mix of different photos. There were books, a photo of a skyscraper, his friends, photos of his own jet, and so many more.

She also found a photo of Finn and Kurt. Both of them were laughing. What a rare sight. Rachel couldn't remember having heard Kurt laughing, but she only needed to look at this photo to hear Finn's laughing in her head.

Something inside Rachel started aching. She was missing Finn's laughter. She missed his voice, their talks…she missed everything.

Rachel saved that photo on her desktop and although she found it a little bit creepy, she couldn't care less.

The rest of his profile was full of condolences. Rachel gulped audibly after she had read some comments. Some of them were downright cruel. She wondered whether Finn read all of those comments. She hoped he didn't. If she found them cruel, she didn't want to know what Finn would think about them.

One of those horrible comments caught her eye. That person offered photos of the funeral on his or her profile.

Rachel clicked on the profile – and froze. The complete account of that person consisted of pictures of Finn and Kurt. Both of them had black suits, they were standing at the cemetery. Kurt was leaning his head on Finn's shoulder, Finn was about to wipe away some tears.

Rachel had tears in her eyes.

Why were people doing that? Why did people take photos in those horrible moments of a family to post them online? No one should be allowed to take away their privacy.

Rachel immediately reported that profile.

That was the only thing she could do at the moment, but it wasn't enough for her. She had so much pity on Finn and his brother right now. That the paparazzi and other ignorant people didn't respect what happened, made her so much angrier.

The brunette retrieved her phone, deciding to text Finn.

_Rachel: I'm thinking about you_

Rachel looked at the words and pressed the send-button. Then, she laid her phone on her dresser. It was midnight now, but she was still wide awake. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep soon, so she took a book and started reading. When she wanted to lean back, her phone vibrated.

_Finn: I'm missing you_

Rachel didn't know what she expected. But not that answer. While she was staring at those words, she got another text.

_Finn: I want to see you_

Although Rachel was wearing her pajamas and Finn's sweater, she was feeling cold now. There were so many emotions inside her right now: longing for Finn, her anger and at the same time sadness as if she had lost someone as well.

Rachel would like to write that she felt the same and that she would drive to him and be there for him. But it wasn't possible. She just didn't feel ready to do it. Not after what happened. After what he had done to her. It just hurt too much.

And the answer she typed in and sent to Finn hurt even more.

_Rachel: I can't_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, looks like it will take some time until Rachel forgives Finn...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Time passed and before Rachel could blink, the Christmas holidays were just around the corner. Normally, Rachel liked Christmas. Since one of her dads was Jewish, they celebrated a funny mix of Christmas and Hanukkah every year. And of course, they watched a bunch of Christmas musicals in the holidays with hot chocolate. The days before Christmas always felt so magical to her.

But not this year. This year was different.

No, actually, it wasn't. Rachel was the one who was different.

She always had to think about Finn and that's why the preparations for the holidays were not funny at all.

She tried to distract herself, but in vain. The incidents of the previous weeks were in her head like an endless tragedy movie.

Luckily for her, her friends and her dads were good in distracting her. Mercedes had decided to start a new blog about plus size fashion because she always had difficulties to find appropriate clothes in the boutiques. Rachel had promised to her to proofread her stories in the holidays before Mercedes published them. In exchange for that service, Mercedes promised Rachel to help her with the outfit for the next school events.

Her dads also tried to distract her. This time, they wanted Rachel to tell them her opinions concerning the flavor of Christmas cookies or whether the shrimps would taste better with orange sauce or cranberries.

They did really everything to keep her busy so that she couldn't think about a certain person.

While Rachel read through Mercedes' article about the waistlines of plus size dresses and ate the ginger-lemon-chili biscuits her dads had baked (they really tasted better than they looked!), Hiram knocked on her door.

"Rachel, honey?"

"I'm busy, dad.", Rachel grumbled.

"You have a visitor." The brunette frowned. Who could it be? She didn't have many friends who would visit her.

Mercedes was in Houston to celebrate the holidays with her relatives, and… she couldn't think of anyone else.

Well, that was just sad.

"Who is it?"

"That boy from _Hummel-Hudson's_ ", Hiram answered.

Rachel paled instantly. "F…Finn?"

"No, his brother."

She paled even more. She had a déjà vu of the evening where Kurt searched for Finn and showed up on her porch.

What if something bad happened? Again?

_No. Please, no._

"He is waiting in the living room. Your dad and I are in the kitchen if you need us, sweetie."

Rachel got up and left her room. She took a deep breath before she entered the living room.

Kurt was sitting on their sofa, hands on his lap, looking down their table. He was wearing a grey sweater and black jeans. His hair was perfectly coiffed.

Actually, it was the first time Rachel saw him out of his school uniform. Like always, he gave the impression that everything was perfectly fine.

But his glance was speaking volumes.

"Hi", Rachel said, smiling slightly.

Kurt lifted his head and spotted the brunette. He tried to smile, but that smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hi, Rachel."

Rachel went over to him, also sitting down on the couch. She didn't want to do small talk, that seemed inappropriate. Instead, she just waited.

Kurt gulped. "You said that I should tell you when I needed something."

For a while, she just looked at him, perplexed, but then, she nodded quickly. "Of course. No matter what it is."

He took a deep breath. "I think I'm losing my mind. I don't know what to do", he whispered, anxiously looking over to the door. Maybe he was afraid her dads could hear them.

"Do you want to talk about it in private? We can take a walk, there is a beautiful park not far away from here", Rachel suggested. Kurt just nodded numbly.

…

They went to the park where Rachel celebrated her eighteenth birthday some weeks ago. Now, it looked like a winter wonderland with its icy ways and the snow-white trees. But Kurt didn't seem to notice it.

"Where does the shoe pinch?", Rachel asked him when they were walking along the river. Kurt sighed deeply.

"I don't even know where to begin", he said. "It all started three years ago. You have certainly heard about the kiss-and-tell story of Adam Crawford."

Rachel nodded. The newspapers were full of this story back then. It was the number one topic in Lima.

"These days were the worst for my family and for me. I felt more alone than ever. And I felt so humiliated.

My parents were abroad, my brother had to deal with it himself and my grandparents…don't get me started with them.

I felt…horrible. I wanted to make the pain stop somehow. And then…" Kurt took a deep breath. "And then…I started harming myself."

He halted in his tracks and rolled up his sleeves. Nasty looking scars were all over his arms, some of them were yellow on the edges.

Rachel had to bite her tongue to not gasp.

"First, it was only a little cut like when you cut yourself while cooking. But then, the pain of my heartbreak and the pressure of my family didn't get better.

So I made deeper cuts every day. I always locked my room, turned on depressing music and did it. It somehow felt good, you know. I don't know why, but it did. After some weeks, I had scars all over my arms.

I had to stop wearing T-Shirts because I my arms were all red and disgusting. And then, I kind of met Blaine. I told him everything, even that I was cutting to deal with my pain. He was the only one who knew it, I didn't even tell Finn."

Kurt stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking to the frozen river at their side.

"He helped me get over it. First, he wanted me to leave out one cutting per day, to make six cuttings instead of seven. I did it, reducing the number of cuttings step by step. After a few weeks, I stopped cutting altogether. I didn't need it anymore because I had Blaine. He made me feel special. And happy.

In my junior year, Blaine and I went to a surgeon and payed him a fortune to erase my scars on my arms and to not tell my family. This way, I could forget my dark past. And I did. Until now."

Rachel gulped. She had been so naïve. She thought because the kids at McKinley were either royals or/and freaking rich, they had perfect lives. When she got into that school, she was ecstatic because she would be in a school with the High Society of the US.

Billionaire kids who had their own employees, enormous mansions and ate out of golden plates.

Royals who had crowns and scepters, like in fairytales.

But she realized that this life also had its prize. Santana may be a princess, but she didn't seem that happy.

During sports lessons, Rachel had overheard her talking with Quinn about a possible fiancé. According to the Latina, her parents wanted her to marry a white, noble guy. King Felipe, Santana's dad had suggested Sebastian Smythe, Hereditary Prince of Monaco and freshman at Yale.

Santana had wrinkled her nose, saying she would rather shoot herself than marry that meerkat face.  
Rachel could even understand her. She and Mercedes had once met him on one of McKinley's parties where they were in charge of the greeting of all the guests.  
Sebastian had called Mercedes the cheap, chubby version of Beyoncé and gave to Rachel a card of a plastic surgeon to correct that "heinous monstrosity" on her face. While insulting them, he kept on smirking in the most impertinent way.

Mercedes and Rachel were still thinking of a revenge plan to that day.

And Kurt always seemed to be fine all the time with his and Finn's popular clique at school. Rachel never would've thought that he was so depressed. And now that he wasn't allowed to talk to Blaine anymore, he had nobody to talk to.

Money and a good reputation really didn't make happy.

"Oh Kurt. I…I don't know what to say…", Rachel sighed. "I'm so sorry you have to go through that crap. I really am."

Kurt just shrugged helplessly, looking down the ground.

When Rachel was sad, there was only one thing that could cheer her up. Maybe it would help Kurt as well. It was worth a try.

…

Kenton's Bakery didn't look special from the outside. Like a normal, rather small bakery. But those people had the best pastries in Lima. The smell of self-made bread was in the air when Rachel and Kurt entered the shop.

"When I'm down, I always come to this place. I'm supposed to be on a diet now, but screw it", Rachel just told Kurt. His corners of his mouth twitched slightly. Well, at least that was something.

Rachel and Kurt went over to the tables in the back, near the counter and sat down. The waitress came over to them. "Rachel! Nice to see you! What can I bring you guys?", she asked, smiling warmly.

Kurt looked at Rachel. "What do you recommend?"

"The blueberry cheesecake is to die for", she gushed. He nodded. "Then I will take it as well."

"Okay, two blueberry cheesecakes and two hot chocolates then.", Rachel said.

The waitress nodded and went back to the counter.

"The owner of this bakery is a friend of our family", Rachel explained. "When I was little, I always went over to the bakery and got cookies."

"That had to be cool", Kurt said, smiling slightly.

"Do you know what you want to do in the future?", Rachel asked him.

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "If there is a future for me."

"Kurt, only because you have a few problems, it doesn't mean you are screwed."

He sighed deeply, biting his lip. "I always wanted to be a designer at _Hummel-Hudson's_.", he answered after a while.

Kurt took the spoon, thoughtfully stirring the hot chocolate in front of him.

"I wanted to design more modern creations, even for women, but grandmother and grandfather didn't like it. They claimed that it wasn't traditional and therefore bad.", he went on.

"That's why they wanted Finn to take over Hudson-Hummel's, not me. But as you know, Finn isn't that thrilled to do it, and that's why they are so many fights at home."

He took a sip of the hot chocolate. "That's awesome", he murmured.

"I hate that you and Finn are at the mercy of that crap. That has to be so hard.", Rachel said, sipping on her own hot beverage.

Kurt nodded, sad. "Our family is picture perfect. People think that our grandparents love us more than anything and want our best. Whatever."

He cleared his throat. "I can't complain having grown up like that. I don't know how much Finn has told you, but…there a lot of things that went wrong and can't be undone."

Did Kurt mean James Hudson? Did he not only hit Finn, but Kurt as well?

"He only told me a few things", Rachel answered evasively. Although Kurt knew his brother more than anyone did, Rachel couldn't tell him what Finn had told her. Even after everything that had happened. It didn't feel right.

"By the way, he is well now. He didn't even touch alcohol since the funeral. But he is training now almost 24/7."

Rachel could remember Finn's glance. His tears. How he had held her tight. And the injuries on his hand.

"And the conflict between him and his grandfather?", she asked carefully.

"You know about the fight?"

She nodded.

"Grandfather pretends it never happened. He is never at home and when he is, he wants to talk to us about the management of _Hummel-Hudson's_."

On one hand, Rachel was happy the relationship between Finn and his grandfather didn't escalate, on the other hand, she felt sorry for him because he has to start working for the enterprise earlier than planned. She knew how much Finn hated it.

"Maybe you could get over it, Rachel."

Rachel looked in Kurt's blue eyes and shook her head, sad. "I doubt that. And to be honest, I don't want it."

It was the first time she had said it out loud. But it was the truth. She doubted that she could get over Finn's mistake. And she didn't want to. It still hurt so much.

"You could try", Kurt said softly, but Rachel shook her head again.

"I understand that the news about the death of your grandmother had been devastating, but…" she shrugged helplessly. "It doesn't change anything. I hate him for what he has done."

"But you have been there for him when he needed you. That means something, right?"

Rachel took a deep breath. "He is still important to me, that's right. But I have never been madder at someone. And I don't think that this sentiment towards him will change anytime soon."

The both of them didn't say anything for a while. Kurt thoughtfully poked his slice of cake, picking up a blueberry.

"Was that visit to your place a mistake?", Kurt suddenly asked.

Rachel lifted her head. "What? No!"

"If I had known how you felt about my brother, I never would have taken your offer. I…"

"Kurt", Rachel cut him off and grabbed his hand. "I still mean what I said to you. I want to be there for you. Our friendship has nothing to do with Finn, okay?"

He just looked at her, his eyes were shimmering a bit. He didn't answer, but he squeezed her hand shortly.

And that was more than enough.

* * *

Finn was standing in front of the strength training station, training. Sweat was running down his forehead and all over his face. After ten minutes, he went over to the barbells and lifted one with each hand. He was so engrossed in his training he didn't even notice someone entering the fitness room. Now, Kurt was standing in front of him with crossed arms.

He stared at Finn, saying something, but the quarterback didn't hear anything.  
Kurt angrily gritted his teeth, and Finn saw how he formed a word with his lips.

_Idiot._

Finn wondered what he had done now. Since grandmother's funeral, he didn't drink again or leave the house. He had been strong, for Kurt as well when he saw how he broke down at the funeral.

He and Kurt needed to be strong for each other.

Why Kurt was standing there with reddened cheeks and a scowl, he had no idea.

But on the other hand, Kurt opening and closing his mouth with the music in his ears was kinda funny. Like he would lip sync with Linkin Park's _Burn it down_.

Suddenly, Kurt stepped forwards, pulling out the earpieces out of Finn's ears.

"Finn!"

"What?", Finn asked him, slightly annoyed.

"I wanted to talk to you about Rachel."

Finn put down the barbells and grabbed a towel.

"I don't know what you…"

"Come on, Finn."

Finn cleared his throat. His chest started aching. "I don't want to talk about it."

Kurt shook his head. He had crossed his arms and was scowling even more. Now, he reminded Finn more of his grandmother and he had to look away.

"I would like to help you and Rachel."

Finn laughed bitterly. "There is no me and Rachel, Kurt. I messed it up."

"If you explain to her…"

"…She doesn't want to hear my explanation. And I can't hold it against her."

Kurt sighed. "I think you have a chance anyway. I wished you would take it instead of pitying yourself for days."

Finn remembered Rachel's text :

_I can't._

Of course she couldn't. He had kissed another girl, that was inexcusable. He had lost Rachel for good. That Kurt tried to convince him otherwise was too much for him. He wanted to distract himself, goddammit!

"Why do you care?", Finn asked, clutching his towel.

"You are important to me. And I don't want to see you suffer. Is it so hard to imagine?"

"Rachel doesn't want me back and I don't want to force myself on her. You shouldn't either."

He wanted to turn on his heel and leave, but Kurt grabbed his elbow. Finn looked at him, angry.

"Don't look like that. It's time to be yourself again", Kurt hissed. "You can't push away everyone and everything."

"I don't push you away.", Finn said with gritted teeth.

"Finn…"

Finn tried to put on his impenetrable pokerface again. The same pokerface he had in school or during business meetings. But it was Kurt who was standing in front of him. He never had to hide something from Kurt and that's why Finn was failing miserably. Frustrated, he threw his towel away.

"What do you want to hear from me, Kurt?", he asked powerless.

"That we will get though this hard time together. You and I. Like always." Kurt gulped. "But if you can't talk to me and withdraw from me, it won't work."

Finn snorted. "Don't pretend that you talk to me about everything. I was forced to drag information out of you all the time. And I learned about your affair with Anderson just because you got caught."

Cold, Finn looked into his brother's eyes.

"Just because grandmother died, it doesn't mean we will grow closer to each other. Don't turn us into something we have never been."

Kurt flinched and reeled back. Without looking at him again, Finn turned around and put on the earplugs. If Kurt had something to say, he wouldn't hear anything.

 _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_ was drowning out the awful reality of his world.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Something was very wrong with Rachel.

She was sleeping bad.

She was downloading pictures of Finn just to delete them after a couple of seconds. One day later, she downloaded them again to caress Finn's face on her display with a creepy smile on her face.

She really felt like a psychopath.

And like a liar. She had told Kurt she didn't want to get back together with Finn, but her body told her otherwise.

She was missing Finn.

But that was dumb.

Dumb and insane.

Finn Hudson had broken her heart, for god's sake! She couldn't be missing someone who had done that to her.

It was the first time Rachel didn't enjoy Christmas. The movies looked so colorless and boring; the songs sounded lame and monotonous.

The delicious food of her dads didn't taste good at all to her. Her relatives kept on asking her why she was so down and whether it had something to do with the handsome boy who had given the bag to her. After a while, it was too much for Rachel and she went to her room for the rest of the holidays.

When Silvester was around the corner, Rachel decided she couldn't continue sulking. She was an optimistic person, just because a certain person had acted like a dick that didn't mean she had to throw her life away.

So she took a shower, put on her most favorite dress and went down the stairs, determined to enjoy at least the beginning of the new year.

But when she went down to the living room, she froze.

"What are you doing here?", Rachel asked, surprised.

Mercedes startled and turned around with golden balloons in her hands, just like Kurt who was about to put colorful straws into champagne glasses.

But then, Mercedes went over to Rachel, hands on her hips. "Why are you coming now when we were planning a surprise party, white girl? Why?"

Rachel looked back and forth between the Mercedes and Kurt. She started smiling.

"We are celebrating Silvester together?", Rachel asked carefully.

Kurt also smiled. "That was our plan."

Rachel took her two friends into her arms. "Thank you.", she mumbled. "That's what I need now." She really had great friends. Rachel wondered how she deserved them.

"Thank you.", she murmured again. "That's great."

After that, she helped hanging up golden balloons and spreading silver-rose confetti. Mercedes connected her boxes with her laptop and searched for a Playlist online.

"Kurt and I even planned the whole evening", Mercedes explained to Rachel while she was listening to samples of possible playlists.

"Yes, we will write down the greatest moments of this year and share them with each other. And then, we are going to watch Musicals – we are going to vote which one later.", Kurt went on.

"And during the movies, we will eat popcorn your dads had prepared for us.", Mercedes smirked, pointing at a bowl of hot popcorn on the table beside them.

Rachel's eyes lit up. She loved popcorn, especially with butter.

"After that, we will have dinner.", Kurt said.

"Your dads are awesome, they also made pizza for us. One half is vegetarian, of course", the black girl winked.

Kurt retrieved a plastic bag with silver- golden notebooks. "And then, we are going to write down our New Year's resolutions!"

"That sounds great", Rachel said, taking a handful of popcorn and stuffing it into her mouth. "Thank you for that.", she mumbled.

Mercedes dragged her over to the table. "Stop thanking us all the time, that's what friends are for, right?"

The trio sat down on the floor around the table. Mercedes gave a stack of blank papers to everyone to write down this year's highlights.

"Okay", Mercedes started. "One highlight was that I started my new blog some weeks ago an there are so many followers now." She wrote it down.

"I read one of the entries of your blog", Kurt said. Mercedes looked up. "Really?" He nodded.

"I loved it. There are so many people out there who need fashion advice and you are inspiring them."

Mercedes blushed slightly. "Thank you, boo", she mumbled, squeezing his hand.

Rachel felt happy that her two friends seemed to get along very well. It would be awesome if she could hang out with both of them together in the future.

Kurt cleared his throat. "In January, I made a Wellness Spa day with grandmother in Aspen. It was great, there were only the two of us. I think that was the most beautiful memory of this year."

"That sounds nice", Rachel said. She really appreciated his openness.

"And you?", Kurt asked.

Rachel's head felt so empty now, she had no idea what to write. She thought about what happened last year.

She was the captain of the event management club, had great grades and had been invited to NYADA and Harvard. She got to know Mercedes better and even found a new friend. And she fell in love for the first time, even if it ended not so well.

"I don't know where to begin. I think the excursion to Harvard was great.", Rachel smiled. "I have to agree", Mercedes hummed. "And their campus is beautiful as well."

Rachel noted down _Excursion Harvard._

And then, the three of them just talked about everything and nothing. They laughed a lot and it seemed like they knew each other for years. The atmosphere was snug, and Rachel could see how relieved her friends were because she had finally left her room.

After some hours, Rachel's dads said goodbye to celebrate the New Year with friends.

The trio decided to watch _Hair_ although all of them had already watched it one million times. Kurt had to laugh a lot, and actually, it was the first time Rachel had seen him to that.

When the movie was over, they ate the pizza. "That tastes delicious, Rachel", Mercedes gushed. "You are so lucky. Your dads are great cooks."

Rachel smiled slightly.

"The only thing I can cook is scrambled egg.", Kurt grimaced. "I always wanted to learn how to cook. When mom was alive, we chased our cooks out of the kitchen and always baked cakes together."

"That must be great", Rachel said quietly. She knew from Finn that Kurt's mom died when he was seven.

"Do you miss her?", Mercedes asked softly. Kurt nodded. "I will always miss her, but I learned to leave my past behind and to move on."

He held the plastic bag with the notebooks in the air. "And we shouldn't do it either, now. It' almost ten pm."

"Oh, how beautiful", Rachel said when she looked at her new notebook. It was silver-golden and had cream colored pages with a black bookmark.

"That's the first time I do that", Mercedes smirked, looking at her book. "What shall I do now?"

Kurt smiled. "It's easy, actually. You have to write down your New Year's resolutions and design them with different colors."

He took a golden pen and started painting his headline.

Rachel thoughtfully looked down her own book. Then, she started writing.

_-Graduate with flying colors_

_-NYADA or Harvard_

_-Stay in touch with my dads_

_-Find at least one new friend_

_-Stop thinking about what others think of me_

But somehow, writing down the list felt wrong to Rachel. Very wrong. She was leaving out an important point. That list was incomplete.

Last year, she fell in love – and her heart had been broken in the worst way. She couldn't just erase it like that.

As long as she didn't wipe the slate clean, she couldn't start into the New Year.

"Rachel?" Mercedes said.

The brunette looked at her and took a decision. But before she would put it into action, she would celebrate the New Year with her friends.

* * *

Usually, Silvester was legendary. In the past years, Finn and his friends had either rented a mansion on a lake or celebrated parties in Columbus which tickets had been sold out for months. They had celebrated until sunrise and forgotten everything around them.

This year, Finn spent Silvester at home. Alone.

Where his grandfather was? No idea. Their staff had their day off and Kurt was driving over to a friend, but he didn't say which friend. Evers since they had fought, Kurt ignored him completely.

Puck had tried to convince him to drive off with their clique, but Finn was not in the mood. When he imagined sitting in a club with deafening music and alcohol, he felt sick.

He couldn't continue living his life like nothing had happened. He just couldn't.

So he spent the evening watching documentaries about sportsmen and eating French fries and pizza from the delivery service.

He always had to think about Rachel. And realized that he didn't have shared memories about her. No photos, nothing that could remind him of their time together.

The only thing that was left was the bag he had designed for her birthday. It was still lying next to his desk and making fun of him every day.

He had taken the bag countless times to look whether she had forgotten something inside the bag ich would indicate whether she liked the bag.

Finn would never forget how she had looked at him when she had seen him kissing Quinn. He would never forget what it had done to him back then even though he was drunk.

He initially wanted to sleep through the beginning of the New Year, but now, it was one pm and he was still wide awake. Maybe he could go to their gym room again.

Finn put on his sport outfit and grabbed his iPhone with his headphones. When he wanted to leave his room, he heard someone entering the hallway.

Maybe Kurt returned.

Finn opened his door to wish him a happy new year – an froze.

Kurt wasn't alone. Finn rubbed his eyes because he thought he was dreaming, but he wasn't.

Rachel was standing in the hallway. Under her arm, she held something. It was his sweater he had given to her after Sam's party.

Rachel quietly said something to Kurt, and he nodded. Kurt threw him a weird glance and disappeared in his own room.

"Can we talk?", Rachel finally asked.

Finn gulped visibly. He hadn't seen her for a while, now, she was standing in front of him. His heart was racing, and he would like to take her in his arms now.

But instead, he nodded, letting her into his room. His room definitely looked better days ago. There were magazines everywhere on the floor, his bed was a mess and there was a pizza box on his desk.

Next to Rachel's former bag.

Rachel looked around and eventually sat down on one of his sofas.

"Do you want to drink something?", Finn asked.

"No, thanks."

Nobody said anything for a while.

"Did you have a good evening?", Finn tried to break the silence.

Rachel cocked her eyebrows. "Yes."

That was all.

Finn didn't know what to say. He just didn't find the right words, there was a big, empty hole in his head now which kept on getting bigger and bigger. He really wanted to sit down next to her now. But instead, he stayed on the sofa in her right.

"We just wrote down our New Year's resolutions.", Rachel said after a while. "I realized that there are a few things which we didn't talk about. Like that, I can't start into the New Year."

Well, he didn't see that coming. Finn needed to clear his throat. "Okay."

Rachel laid down the sweater on the table in front of her. She looked hurt, but also angry and sad.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Finn", she whispered.

Finn's chest ached. "I know", he croaked.

She shook her head. "No. You don't know how it felt. You have ripped my heart out of my chest. And I hate you for that."

"I know.", Finn repeated.

Rachel took a deep breath. "But I also love you and that makes it so much harder."

"I…" Finn trailed off. Now, he realized what she had said. Speechless, he stared at her.

"I doubt that it would have worked anyway. It was a great time even if our time together was short but know I have to…"

"You love me?", Finn whispered, stunned.

Rachel flinched. And then, she straightened up. "That doesn't change anything. The way you have treated me… You have kissed another girl the day after we had slept together."

"I'm so sorry, Rachel.", Finn said insistently even if he knew that these words weren't enough.

"And it doesn't change my plans to start this new year without you.", Rachel went on.

The pain these words were causing him were taking away his breath. Rachel was here to end this.

"That will never…I will never do it again", Finn said breathlessly.

"I hope so for your next girlfriend."

Now, Finn was panicked. "There will never be another girlfriend, goddammit!"

She just shook her head. "We never had a chance, Finn. Let's be honest. Our worlds are too different."

"Why are you saying this?" Finn's voice was raspy now. "Of course it would've worked. It doesn't matter."

Rachel got up. "I have to leave now, my dads are waiting." She went to the door.

Finn just stared at her, unable to move. This felt like an ultimate goodbye, and he wasn't ready for it.

"I need to rule off that thing between the two of us. Do you understand it?", Rachel asked quietly, looking at him before she turned the doorknob.

Finn nodded although his body told him otherwise. "Yes, I do." Rachel gave him so many chances. But now, it was over.

"I…I wish you a happy new year, Finn." In Rachel's eyes, he could see the same pain that was numbing his body.

"Rachel, please…", he croaked.

But she opened the door and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a turning point soon, guys, don't worry!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

After the Christmas holidays were over, Kurt and his brother had to go back to school again. James had said that after one month, it was time to go back to the daily, normal routine. But their life was not normal at all.

Without Elaine, the family dinners were like a torture. And the atmosphere between Kurt and Finn was still tensed. They didn't talk to each other and stayed out of their ways.

Now, both boys were staring out of the window when Andy drove them to school. After Andy had stopped in front of McKinley, he turned around. "Everything fine?"

Kurt nodded and tried to smile.

"If there are problems", Andy went on. "You have my number. And if reporters show up, go to the principal directly. He will make sure they won't harass you."

These words almost sounded like he learned them by heart.

Kurt thought that Andy didn't get over Elaine's death as easy as he wanted to admit. He knew Elaine for over twenty or thirty years. He didn't joke around anymore and when he thought nobody saw him, the chauffeur looked so lost and sad, it almost broke Kurt's heart.

"Okay.", Kurt said and saluted.

At least, Andy was smiling a bit now. He turned to Finn. "Watch over your brother, Mr. Hudson."

Finn blinked and looked around. Not answering, he took his bag and got out of the Rolls-Royce. Kurt threw Andy an apologetic glance and followed suit.

Outside, Sam, Mike, Artie, Puck, Santana, Brittany and Chandler were waiting. Quinn took the day off because she was still in her holidays in the French alps.

Sam had begged the clique to integrate his cousin into their clique because their parents kind of forced him to do so.

"Hudson!" Puck went over to Finn to fist bump with him. "About time you show up!"

Finn smiled a bit. "It's not the same without you, Finnessa. ", Santana said, coming over to give the quarterback a high five.

"We will make sure nobody will harass you guys", Sam promised.

In the meanwhile, Chandler went over to Kurt and pulled him into a hug. "Kurt.", he murmured into his ear.

Kurt gulped. He and Chandler knew each other for over ten years, his smell was so familiar. He pulled away after a while.

"Good morning", he said, tired.

Chandler looked at him, questioning. And then, he laid his arm around Kurt's shoulder and together, the clique went up the stairs to the entrance of McKinley.

The assembly was boring as always, and Kurt had to yawn a lot. They were sitting in the last row and people were whispering behind their back.

Kurt ignored them all. He had never been happier when the assembly was over and they were allowed to leave the auditorium.

"Have you heard?", Puck asked, patting Mike's shoulder. Mike glared daggers at him. "Puckerman, I swear if you…"

"Mike made out with Tina Cohen-Chang", Artie cut him off. Mike glared at him as well.

"And then, Chang fell asleep on her while they had sex", Santana said and cracked up. Mike's face went red. Kurt also had to bite back his laughter.

"Maybe the sex wasn't that special, then", Finn mumbled. Everyone looked at him, surprised. He almost sounded like the old Finn.

"Well, to be honest", Chandler broke the silence. "I almost fell asleep once as well."

"Chandler!" Disgusted, Kurt wrinkled his nose. Even if they ended up in one bed together more than once in the past, he didn't want to think about it.

"Too much information."

"I hope you have been drunk, dude", Artie said.

"Not only.", Chandler smirked.

"Wanky! Maybe blondie is not as lame as I thought. If you realize you are into lady parts after all, let me know. I like white chocolate", Santana winked. Brittany next to her flinched slightly.

"Guys, we are in school. Can we keep it PG?", Kurt complained.

Puck looked at him with cocked eyebrows. "Hummel and PG? You are not as innocent as one might think."

"He is not worse than you, man. Or as Santana and Brittany", Artie retorted.

"Or as Sam and Finn.", Mike thought out loud. "Maybe we should make a ranking list one day."

Everyone laughed. Kurt grinned. He loved his friends because they were acting like nothing had happened. And they were distracting him, exactly what he needed. Cause his first lesson today was English with Blaine and he got nervous.

Since that phone call after Elaine's death they didn't talk to each other.

Kurt thought that after time had passed, he would miss Blaine less and less. But it was the opposite. It hurt so much that he couldn't be near Blaine, that he wasn't allowed to hold him in his arms.

Before they parted ways in front of the classroom, Finn threw him a warning glance. Although they didn't talk for days, Finn knew how scared Kurt was to be in a same room with Blaine for fifty minutes.

"Tell me if you need something", Chandler mumbled and hugged him again. "See you in the lunch break."

Kurt pulled away and looked to the side. And then, he spotted Blaine.

He was standing behind Santana and Brittany who were blocking his way.

His glance sent cold shivers down Kurt's spine. Blaine looked away from Kurt and looked at Chandler instead. He looked…so cold and distant.

"Let's go", Finn, who had looked back and forth between Kurt and Blaine. The clique said goodbye to Kurt and parted ways.

Now, Kurt was standing in the hallway, alone with Blaine. They just stared at each other for a while.

"Kurt…", he croaked, sounding so sad it was painful to Kurt.

Kurt shook his head. "Don't."

He turned around, entering the classroom and sitting down at his place, staring down his desk for the next fifty minutes.

* * *

The school day didn't want to end. If he weren't worried about Kurt, Finn would have left after one hour. He didn't listen to the teachers, the lessons were boring. In the breaks, a lot of schoolmates were telling him how sorry they were about Elaine's death. They just wanted to be nice, but after the hundredth condolence, Finn told poor Matt Rutherford to shut the hell up.

The day reached its' lowest point when he met Rachel in the hallways.

 _You had ripped my heart out of my chest. And I hate you for that. But I also love you and that makes it so much harder,_ he remembered her words.

She was the first who looked away. Then, she walked to her classroom, ignoring him.

From that moment on, Finn could only think about her words.

She loved him.

She _loved_ him, god dammit.

It was like pouring salt into an open wound.

After the last lesson was over, Finn was among the first ones to leave the building. Andy opened his door and he mumbled a thank you before he got in.

Kurt was already there, and he looked like Finn felt at the moment. Finn closed his eyes, leaning back on his seat.

"That was exhausting, wasn't it?", he heard Kurt say quietly. Instead of answering, Finn opened the minibar. He had hold on a long time without alcohol, but now, after that shitty day, he needed to numb himself, no matter how.

Before he could take the bottle with the brown liquid inside, Kurt grabbed his wrist.

"You won't get drunk just because your day sucked.", he said, trying to sound calm.

Kurt was right, Finn knew that. Anyway, he tried to free himself from that grip. "Let me go, dude."

"No.", Kurt said sternly, clutching his wrist even tighter.

Finn tried to pull Kurt's hand away with his other hand. While doing that, he accidently pulled up the sleeve of Kurt's school uniform blazer.

And then he saw it.

Red lines. Nasty looking ones. Some of them were swollen or even a bit yellow. Finn paled instantly.

"What is that?", he croaked, pointing at the lines.

Kurt looked at him with wide eyes.

"What is that, Kurt?", Finn repeated with a steadier, calmer voice.

"I…" Kurt only shook his head.

Finn softly rolled up the sleeves of his school uniform. There were more of those lines, like someone had purposely cut him or something.

"Who did that to you? Are there some guys bullying you again? Dude, no matter what happened, we can talk. We are brothers.", Finn said insistently.

Tears were shimmering in Kurt's eyes. He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing. Realization dawned on Finn.

"You did that yourself, right?"

Kurt just nodded and wiped away his tears. Finn just took him into his arms, not saying anything.

…

Kurt was sitting on his bed, looking at his pillow. Finn tried to look at his arms without him noticing. After he went up and down his room, he sat down on the armchair.

How could he not notice how depressed his own brother was?

How could Kurt hide the cuts all the time?

Finn was a terrible brother, he really was.

"I didn't want you to learn it like that."

Finn looked up. Kurt's shoulders were stiffened, his cheeks were red.

"I…I don't know what to say.", Finn mumbled.

He felt so dumb now. And he realized how selfish he acted all those weeks. He had whined because of his heartbreak and his bad conscience. All the time, Kurt was carrying this burden alone and thought he couldn't tell his own brother about it.

Of course, there were things they kept a secret from each other, but not things like that.

"Don't say that.", Kurt whispered.

Finn shook his head. "I'm so sor…"

"No.", Kurt cut him off. "I don't want your pity, Finn. Not from you."

Finn rubbed his face desperately. "Why?", he finally dared to ask.

Kurt sighed. "It was just too much for me. Grandmother's death, Blaine who isn't allowed to see me anymore, my parents being absent… You have found a way to deal with it, and I have found mine.

I know it sucks but it is like a drug. It makes you feel better for a while, and it is addicting. And it kind of helped me through the hard times."

Finn got up and sat down next to him on the bed. He tossed his emotions aside – the sadness, the pain and the anger. Carefully, he laid his hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"You are nor alone.", Finn assured him.

Kurt gulped. "That's what you say now. And next time you are mad, you say mean things to me again." He slumped down his shoulders and looked down.

It broke Finn's heart to see him like that. "I'm serious. I will be there for you. Together, we will find a solution." He took a deep breath. "I'm not the person who had hit grandfather after he had told us about grandmother's death. I don't want to be that person. It was just…too much for me. I was not strong enough, and I'm sorry."

"You are squashing my shoulder", Kurt pointed out.

Perplexed, Finn looked at him. And then, he realized what he had said.

"I'm sorry about that as well.", Finn smiled apologetically.

"Oh, Finn.", Kurt sighed, patting his shoulder. "You have hurt me with your mean words."

Finn took a deep breath. "What I said was a lie. You are one of the most important people in my life."

Kurt next to him froze. With each second that passed, Finn felt more awkward. He tried to break the silence.

"And did you tell anyone?", he asked carefully.

Kurt avoided his glance. "After that thing with Adam, I met Blaine and I told him about it. He helped me get over it step by step back then.

But now that I can't see Blaine anymore, it got harder for me to stop it. Rachel advised me to try cut something else instead, and I did. Now, my teddy bears all have scars, but it really helped", he laughed.

When Kurt mentioned Rachel, Finn lifted his head. "Rachel?"

Kurt looked down his phone in his hands. "Yes. She knows it for a while now."

Finn paled instantly. His throat felt so dry all of a sudden.

"I begged her not to tell anyone. Please don't be mad at her.", Kurt pleaded.

Finn shook his head. And then, he put his head in his hands.

Rachel knew it.

Rachel had been there for his brother. After everything Finn had done to her, she didn't let Kurt down. Other than him.

He couldn't breathe.

"Finn?", Kurt said.

Finn started trembling. He was so ashamed because of everything. He was ashamed because of the mistakes he had done as a friend and as a brother. He felt so bad right now.

Kurt turned to Finn, looking concerned. But then, he understood what was going on in his brother's head and his face expressions softened.

"Kurt", Finn whispered. "I messed up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a déjà-vu, right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Kurt had never seen his brother like that.

He kind of knew how that whole thing with Rachel was getting to him, but not how he had suffered.

Now that he had dropped his mask, Kurt could see the shame in his eyes, but also deep sadness and the pain the breakup with Rachel was causing him. It was the first time Finn showed him how he truly felt.

And Kurt wished he could do something for him and Rachel. It was more than obvious the both of them were suffering.

"Why didn't you do anything to show her how sorry you are?", Kurt asked carefully.

Finn turned to him. "I tried apologizing, but she said she couldn't."

Nobody said anything for a while.

"I understand her.", Kurt broke the silence and Finn flinched slightly. "But on the other hand…I don't know. I wish you could get over it."

"Rachel doesn't want to, and I have to respect it.", Finn said, defeated.

Kurt would like to shake him really hard right now.

"Since when does Finn Hudson give up that easily?"

Finn snorted.

"What?"

"I didn't give up easily. I'm thinking about her all the time and that I won't love another girl like I love her, goddammit! But if she doesn't want to, I have to acc…"

Kurt grabbed his notebook and smacked Finn with it.

Finn groaned, rubbing his head. "Ouch, what was that for, dude?"

Kurt just shook his head. "You have to show her, Finn! Show her how important she is to you and stop whining!"

"You didn't notice what she had said to me on Silvester, how she had said it to me…She was determined to start the new year without me. She is convinced that we never had a chance anyway."

"You don't have to confess your love or something. But as long as she doesn't know how sorry you are, she can't forgive you."

Kurt could see how Finn started thinking and went on. "You have to show it to her. Not only with words. With actions. If she tells you your worlds are too different, prove her wrong."

Finn gulped and breathed out.

Kurt could see how his brain was working, processing the information.

He remembered when Finn got into the limousine back in Harvard. He had looked so happy, so relaxed. Like the invisible burden had been taken off him. Kurt wished Finn could get this feeling back.

But first, he needed to tell him something. "Finn", he said. "If you kiss someone again who isn't Rachel, I'm going to cut off your tongue."

Finn blinked, surprised. And shook his head slowly. "I should have known you spend so much time with Rachel."

"I'm serious. I really want you to get things right again."

Finn breathed out. "Yes. So do I. More than anything."

"Then you have to fight for her, for god's sake!"

Finn didn't answer for a while, just staring at Kurt.

"Yes, I will", he finally said, determined.

Kurt squeezed his shoulder shortly. "Good boy."

Finn smiled slightly, but then, he frowned. "But first, I need a plan."

* * *

Rachel was really pissed now. In the entire building of McKinley, people were only talking about Finn. When she was on her way to the library, she met three groups which all talked about Finn, and it was like that for weeks now.

But there were so many other rumors right now in school which would be even more interesting:

\- Santana was caught making out with Sebastian in the men's toilet, who didn't even attend McKinley, although she claimed that she hated that guy. Rachel was confused. She always thought Sebastian and Santana were both gay and the Spanish princess was in love with Brittany. Who knew, maybe they were all bi.

\- Apparently, Tina and Mike were in a relationship now although Mike fell asleep on her while they had sex. To be honest, Rachel was happy for Tina who was walking around in school with a permanent smile on her face.

\- And allegedly, Kurt started something with Chandler Kiehl and they were friends with benefits now. Rachel doubted that it was true. Firstly, Kurt had other, more grave problems. Secondly, Chandler was not more than a friend to him. Without benefits of course. But when people were talking about it during Biology lessons and Chandler was smirking smugly, Rachel really didn't know what to think.

\- However, the number one topic was Finn. Everywhere.

_Have you seen the photos of Finn Hudson?_

_Poor guy._

_Is there still something going on between him and that Rachel chick?_

Everytime she heard those talks, Rachel's throat went dry and it got harder to breathe. How could she forget him when people were talking about Finn all the time? Not even in the library, she could relax.

Rachel ignored her schoolmates, marching straight to the room where the meeting of the event management club was going to take place. She opened the door, entered, closed it and leaned against the door, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths.

"Hey."

Rachel's eyes flew open.

Finn was sitting on the other side of the desk. Where he sat when Principal Figgins forced him to take part at the meetings.

He looked different. He had dark circles around his eyes, he had stubbles around his chin, his hair was more tousled than usual.

Rachel wondered whether she looked different in his eyes as well.

Seconds passed and nobody said anything. Rachel didn't know how to act. In the hallways, she had just ignored him, but know, they were alone in the same room.

"What are you doing here?", she croaked. Dammit, why couldn't she give the impression his presence wasn't irritating to her?

"I'm reading." Rachel frowned. Had she ever seen him reading? He lifted his book – a book about _Westside Story_. She had once told him she loved musicals.

Confused, she looked at him.

"We have our meeting in a few minutes. Would you please leave and read your book elsewhere?"

Rachel went over to her place, preparing everything for the meeting. Finn laid down his book and looked up. Rachel held her breath for a while.

"I want to take part at the event management club this term again."

Rachel froze. "What?"

"If you and Mercedes consent to it, I'm going to talk to Figgins.", Finn went on.

Disbelieving, Rachel looked up. "You can't be serious."

Finn looked at her as well, calm. Now, she knows why he looked different. He didn't seem so hopeless like on Silvester.

And it drove Rachel crazy. If he felt miserable, Rachel could be strong. Now that he was calm, she was nervous. But why?

"I liked working here even if I didn't expect it. I want to continue doing that."

Rachel couldn't stop staring. "I can't believe it."

"You said that I was good at organizing and the team lost something when I left. On top of that, we got a new training plan. Football and the meetings only collide once per week. Coach Beiste is fine with me being absent."

Rachel wasn't stupid. She knew Finn was only here because of her, not because he loved organizing. But he was right. When she thought about his good ideas at the Halloween party, she had to admit that Finn had been a precious member of the team.

If she sent him away now, she would have a bad conscience for the rest of the term. And she didn't want to explain in front of Figgins why she didn't let him in.

"The others have to vote.", Rachel finally said.

"Okay."

Rachel gulped. Even if Finn wanted to return to the event management team, she was still meaning what she had said to him on Silvester. She would separate private life and school things, even if she had failed in the past.

"I won't vote for you.", Rachel went on and looked at him with narrowed eyes.

Finn crossed his arms, looking at her, determined. "I know."

…

Of course, the others voted to let Finn be a member again. Rachel sat on her place with hot cheeks, trying not to show how pissed she was right now.

Mercedes gave to each member handouts and started the meeting. "Do you guys have anything to say concerning the preparations of this year's charity gala?"

Rachel looked up. Normally, the meetings were a routine for her, but Finn's mere presence was enough to let her feel an avalanche of emotions.

She could feel his hands all over his body.

How he had said her name.

How his lips felt on her mouth.

Rachel felt how her face reddened. God dammit, she really needed to stop thinking about that stuff! She could separate private life and school for years, why not now?

"The charity gala takes place in February", Tina answered Mercedes' question. "The managing- committee of the parents had decided to collect money for Lima's orphanage. They want to renovate the building, but they still need a lot of money."

"Like always the event has to be opulent.", Ryder added. "The dresscode is gonna be black tie and we have got an enormous budget. Figgins wants us to animate the guests and to convince them donate tons of money."

Rachel noted _opulent and enormous budget_. That didn't make any sense because she already knew that, but she needed to distract herself from a certain person.

"The event is going to take place at the McKinley Hall. There is going to be an aperitif at the beginning, fingerfood and a banquet of a five star cook who had been an orphan himself and wants to donate the menu. That means we can spend more money on decoration and entertainment.", Mercedes explained.

"We have engaged a pianist who will play some background music and the highlight will be a group of acrobats which Kitty's parents had recommended."

"Some of them had even been at _Cirque du Soleil_ ", Kitty added, smug.

Rachel was about to note _Cirque du Soleil_ when she realized who dumb she acted. She couldn't just sit there like that for one and a half hours just because Finn was in the same room. So, she laid down her pen and looked over to Kitty who was still talking.

"They are going to turn the mood mystical."

Mercedes next to Rachel sighed. "We still have the problem to find sponsors who want to come to the gala and donate. We can't just invite the parents of McKinley students. We also need people who want to give a speech in front of the guests. Maybe people who had something to do with orphans. That would be more authentic."

"Do you guys have found someone?", Rachel asked the others. Everyone shook his/ her head.

"People ignore my e-mails, on the phone they tell me to call next year again or tell me more or less to leave them alone", Ryder said. "Nobody is interested to admit publicly they had something to do with orphans. Not at McKinley."

"Maybe we need to broaden our horizon", Tina suggested. "And ask not only people who had to do with Lima's orphanage, but with others as well."

"Good idea", Rachel agreed. "Lima is too small. We could ask people all over Ohio or even the US." She smiled, optimistic. "We will find someone. And we still have time."

The others nodded in agreement.

"Now that you are in the team again, you could take care of the decoration studio with our janitor Mr. Cabot", Mercedes told Finn, smirking somewhat naughtily. "He is always happy if someone helps him prepare the McKinley Hall."

Rachel looked over to Finn.

He blinked, irritated, but then he nodded slowly. Rachel had to bite back her laughter. Cleaning and preparing the hall – nobody made this task voluntarily. That Mercedes gave that task to Finn was just funny. And it showed Rachel how awesome she was.

The rest of the meeting went without a hitch, but Rachel was relieved anyway after the time was up.

"I'm gonna leave", Rachel said to Mercedes and stuffed her things into her bag and got up.

Mercedes nodded and shooed her out. Rachel marched straight to the door and laid her hand on the doorknob. Another hand was faster, and Rachel's hand ended up on the person's one. She looked up and saw Finn's face.

"Rachel", he whispered.

Rachel dragged her hand away as if he had burnt her. She waited for Finn to do something. But he just stared at her. After what felt like an eternity , Finn turned the knob. Rachel sighed, relieved.

"Goodbye, Mercedes", she said and quickly left the room without turning around.

* * *

"Oh man", Finn moaned, frustrated. He pushed his laptop away and turned to Kurt with his chef chair. "Two people had already said no."

From the sofa, Kurt looked at his brother. When he told him he wanted to take part at the event management club again, Kurt was surprised at first. But know, that he thought about it, the decision seemed not that bad.

Rachel loved working in that club. To show her he shared that enthusiasm and to rejoin the club was a step into the right direction.

Besides, Finn realized he had fun organizing events – even if he would never admit it to Kurt.

"You have to be more persistent. Appeal to their conscience not to their wallets. Then, they will come to the gala.", Kurt said and resisted the temptation to scratch his cuts. He didn't want them to infect or something.

Finn nodded absentmindedly and pulled his laptop closer again.

"Did you already talk to Rachel?", Kurt asked after a while.

Finn turned around. "No." He rubbed his face. "She couldn't even look me in the face."

"You can't hurry it. But you need to talk eventually.", Kurt said softly. "The more time passed, the bigger the chasm gets. Believe me."

Finn threw him a glance. "So you still didn't talk to Anderson?"

Kurt shrugged. "Why talking? We both know it is better like that."

"Yes, but he doesn't know you are cutting again. That changes everything. He was the one who helped you get over it."

Kurt gnawed on his cookie. "There is no need to talk. I have it under control, I don't need him."

"Kurt…" Finn's phone was ringing.

"Take it!", Kurt said insistently. "That has to be one of the sponsors."

Finn hesitated for a couple of seconds. Then, he took the phone and answered the call.

"Don", he said loudly. "Nice to hear from you."

Kurt pretended to throw up. Donald "Don" Owens was the CEO of a telecommunication concern and a close friend of James. Neither Finn nor Kurt could stand him, and they were sure that feeling was mutual.

"No, I didn't call in the name of _Hummel-Hudson's_ , but in the name of McKinley Academy. In February, we planned a charity gala for Lima's orphanage, and we are still looking for sponsors."

Kurt heard some mumbling from Don.

"Of course, I will send the details. That would be great, Don, thank you."

Finn ended the call and typed something into his phone. And then, he turned to Kurt. "As long as you don't tell Anderson, you won't know how he would react."

"So you are advising me to tell him."

Finn nodded. "Yes. And I think he has a right to know how you suffer, it's partly because of his behavior."

Kurt stared down his cookie.

_No calls anymore. We arranged that._

What shall he do now? Be pride and let it be? Or listen to his heart and talk to Blaine even if it was risky for both of them?

Finn's phone was ringing again. He lifted his finger to tell Kurt that that discussion wasn't over yet and answered the call.

Kurt unlocked the display of his phone and went to his contacts. Blaine was still on top of his favorite contacts. He just couldn't delete his number.

He scrolled up the history of their texts. They had talked about really anything: Superficial topics like the news, music, musicals, favorite actors, but also about deeper topics like their fears and problems. Kurt could never delete those texts. He needed to keep them like a photo album.

Kurt missed him so much. Their endless calls, his laughter during bad comedy movies and their intertwined fingers under a table in a Café. That he couldn't get those times back, was driving Kurt crazy.

"That sounds great", Finn said in the meanwhile, grinning. Kurt cocked one eyebrow.

"Yes, of course. Thank you so much, Barbra, see you."

Finn breathed out audibly and pumped his fist in the air.

"Barbra? As in Barbra Streisand?", Kurt asked incredulously.

The quarterback turned to his brother. "Her half sister was still owing me a favor.", he shrugged.

"I don't want to know, why."

Finn smiled venturesomely. "Rachel likes Barbra."

Kurt could imagine that. Barbra was a great actress and singer. But he was not so much of a fan of her because she once mentioned she was against gay people being allowed to marry.

"You are working really hard", Kurt commented.

"Back to the initial topic", Finn said, arms crossed.

"I can't tell him. How can I sit in his classes after that?", Kurt asked, shaking his head.

"You can change to my English classes."

"Yes, and that's not noticeable at all."

Finn shrugged. "People are always changing for no reason. You could tell others you want to study with me."

"I don't know.", Kurt mumbled.

"No matter what you do", Finn said. "I will help you."

Finn turned back to his laptop and his eyes widened. "Fuck!"

"What is it?", Kurt asked.

Finn froze. Kurt got up and walked over to the desk, looking at his laptop.

The first thing he saw was Harvard.

_Congratulations, Finn Hudson…_

"You got in!", Kurt called out.

But Finn still didn't react. Kurt turned to him. Shock was written all over his brother's face.

"Finn, you got into Harvard. That's great!" He pulled Finn out of his chair and hugged him. Finn was still stiff.

"Fuck", he repeated.

Kurt couldn't tell whether Finn was about to flip out or whether he was happy. While Kurt held him, he wondered whether he got an E-Mail. He let go of Finn, retrieving his phone.

He also got an E-Mail from Harvard. Kurt quickly read through it.

He got in.

The old Kurt would have cheered and bounced up and down. But the new Kurt knew that it didn't matter whether he got in or not.

His future was still dangling on a string. He wouldn't be able to study because he would A) break down and be sent to a nuthouse by grandfather or B) come out to his family and lose his fortune and his home or C) get caught because he had an affair with Blaine and get kicked out of McKinley AND his home.

Kurt patted Finn's shoulder. At least one of them wouldn't be screwed. He was happy about that, he really was.

But why was there this pain in his chest?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Santana and Sebastian making out is a reference to the time where I used to ship Sebtana. But don't worry guys, they are both gay.
> 
> And Finn reading Westside Story is a reference to season three^^
> 
> See you next chapter :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"A hard time lies behind us, but I don't need to mention that, actually. From now on, we will move on. That's what Elaine would have wanted."

Finn groaned inwardly. Next to him, he could see how Kurt refrained himself from rolling his eyes. James had no idea what their grandmother would have wanted.

It was the first speech he was giving as the only CEO of Hummel-Hudson's in front the department heads and they were all hanging on his lips.

The women and men were sitting on the long desk with hopeful face expressions while Finn thought of a way to somehow retrieve his phone without anybody noticing.

"When we all pull together, we will get over the emotional low point of Hummel-Hudson's. There will be some changes in the future, and I will need your support. I want to thank you in advance for your efforts ."

Finn slid his hand into his pocket and retrieved his phone. His friends had sent him countless texts trying to convince him joining them at a party. It was his and Kurt's first day as board members in Hummel-Hudson's, and they think they needed to celebrate it.

But Finn was so not in the mood for a party. He was aware he needed to enjoy the time he had left with his friends before he would go to college. The boys were already pissed because he came to their training only twice per week.

But there was only one person Finn wanted to see right now.

This person was ignoring him for weeks because he pushed her away.

Finn was missing Rachel.

He wanted her to be able to look at him again without flinching.

He wanted to talk to her, everytime and everywhere.

He wanted to know whether she had been accepted at Harvard or NYADA.

"Despite the death of my wife not much will change in Hummel-Hudson's", James went on. "She is the fundament of our success. And I will do everything to cherish her remembrance."

While everyone applauded, Finn checked the display of his phone.

_Sam: We are at a club, where are you, man?!_

_Puck: Don't even think about skipping this one_

_Artie: That would be not cool_

_Mike: Please just come and the others will stop spaming you_

Finn had no other choice than to drive to that party after this appointment. Besides, he needed distraction from that meeting, but also from Rachel.

No matter what he was doing, she was the number one in his head. She was the only one who understood him. The only one he had ever told about that burden.

Rachel had listened to him and encouraged him. Encouraged him to fight for his future.

_He needed to see her._

_He just needed to._

"…Both of my grandsons had been prepared for the future management of Hummel-Hudson's and also got into Harvard", James just said.

Some people applauded and Finn looked up. Some employees were smiling at him, others who had seen his phone were frowning disapprovingly. Kurt just cocked his eyebrow.

"Do you want to say some words, Finn?", his grandfather asked him.

Finn flinched slightly. He had never mentioned he needed to say a few words. If Finn didn't say anything now, grandfather would kill him.

James could have asked Kurt, but he knew exactly that Finn was clearly the most disinterested and less eloquent one among the two of them. Besides, he would play a minor role in the future of _Hummel-Hudson's_ because he would take over the car business.

That bastard!

Finn got up, putting his phone into his pocket. He cleared his throat.

"My grandmother would have been proud to see how much energy and engagement we put into our enterprise."

_He didn't know what his grandmother would have wanted. Actually, he had no idea what he was just saying. Those words were meaning nothing to him._

Finn's chest was aching. He wanted to storm off, but he couldn't. The only way to get out was to get through that meeting. No matter how.

"I'm looking forward to doing the same thing my ancestors had done and loved in their lives. I can never fully fill my grandmother's shoes, but I can at least try."

He felt empty. His chest slowly ran out of air, and he could barely breathe. But then, he thought about Rachel.

Rachel who had told him that he can do whatever he wanted in his life.

"I can just say: With colleagues like you, our future looks bright."

Finn nodded at the employees whose face expressions had softened. They applauded and he sat down. He looked over to James. His grandfather nodded at him, seemingly contended with his speech.

Finn had never ever felt more like a puppet on a string like he did now.

* * *

Rachel read her E-mails.

And she read them again.

And a third time.

She read it again and again and blinked, perplexed.

"Dads", she croaked.

They sat next to her on the table in the living room, looking confused.

"What is it, darling?", LeRoy asked her.

Not saying anything, she showed them her Mails. Hiram clutched LeRoy's arm. "No way", he whispered.

Rachel nodded. "Yes, I think so."

Her parents jumped to her side, hugging her tightly. "We are so proud of you, sweetie!", Hiram said.

"You really worked hard to get into those colleges", LeRoy mumbled into her shoulder.

"I have to look for scholarships", Rachel said without letting go of her parents.

"Don't think about it now. We are going to celebrate first" LeRoy grinned.

"I need to tell Mercedes!", Rachel said excitedly and retrieved her phone.

One second later, Mercedes sent her the screenshots of her accpetance with thousands of smileys.

Rachel's heart warmed up. The prospect of possibly spending the following three years with her friend was well was great. However, she was pulled out of her reverie when the doorbell rang.

"I'm going", Rachel said, still feeling giddy. She went to the door, opening it with a smile…

…which disappeared immediately.

Finn was standing on their porch. He was wearing a grey suit with a blue tie. Maybe he was on his way to an important appointment.

Rachel wanted to slam the door and go back to her dads.

At the same time, she wanted to hug him tightly.

But instead, she was just standing there, glued to the spot and unable to do anything.

"I…", Finn started, but stopped talking.

Rachel remembered when he came to her before the Halloween Party back then. Now, he was looking like he was fighting against his emotions, just like in October.

"I can't do this anymore, Rachel", he blurted out. "I just can't."

He sounded broken and tired. Sad and troubled. Like something bad had happened.

But why was he there now? She was the last person he should come to when he had problems. Why was he ruining her moment? She just got into NYADA and Harvard, goddammit! She should be dancing and bouncing instead of being down because of Finn's pain. _He_ had ended their relationship.

"What is it you can't do anymore?", she asked, nevertheless.

"I just returned from a meeting at Hummel-Hudson's. My brother is depressed. And I got into Harvard. And I…I'm about to lose my mind."

Finn breathed like he just ran a marathon. Rachel was aware how he suffered under the pressure of his grandfather and it looked like he would break down anytime due to that.

She took a deep breath. "I understand how bad it must be for you. But…I'm not the person you must go to when you are down.", she answered softly.

Finn went up the stairs of until he stood directly in front of her. His glance was desperate, she had never seen him like that.

"I can't stay away from you any longer. You are the only one who understands me. I will fight for you because I am yours. I will always be yours, Rachel."

Rachel held on to the door and stared at him, stunned.

She couldn't believe he had said this.

She couldn't believe he tried to turn her life upside down again.

How dared he returning to the event management club?

How dared he ruining her moment?

"No", she croaked and shook her head. "No."

"Please, Rachel, I…"

"You know what I need, Finn?", she cut him off. "I need peace. I need time to get over you. I wish you to be happy sometime and that you won't let your grandfather tell you how to live your life. But I can't help you with that."

He shook his head. "I'm fine when you are by my side. When you are around, I'm…happy."

"But it is not my job to make you happy, goddammit!", Rachel yelled.

Finn flinched and backed away. The shock all over his face was taking Rachel's breath away.

"Finn, I…", Rachel croaked, but he lifted his hand. "No, you're right. I…I shouldn't have come to this place."

With that, he turned around. Rachel could see tears in his eyes, whether they were there because of the wind or because of her words, she had no idea. Before she could say anything, he left.

* * *

Finn was sitting in the lounge on a sofa, watching Mike, Puck and Artie dance with a group of girls on the dancefloor. The music was loud as hell, the lights were dimed. Sam was sitting next to him. When his friends saw how devastated Finn looked, they decided to leave him alone.

"You okay, dude?", Sam shouted over the music.

Finn cocked his eyebrows. Since when did Sam want to talk about his feelings?

"Don't look like that. I'm worrying about you."

When Finn entered the club one hour ago, everyone kind of knew what must have happened. Puck had given to him a glass of Gin Tonic, which he still hadn't touched. But he really wanted to down the drink now. Maybe Rachel's words would disappear from his head.

_But it is not my job to make you happy, goddammit!_

Finn even understood her anger. Driving to her place was like an instinct, he couldn't explain why he had done that.

He hated this situation. He hated he didn't drive to her back then, but to Sam's party. Instead of talking to Rachel, he had done what he and his friends did all the years:

Forget as fast as possible, at all costs.

Finn looked away from Sam and looked down his glass. He considered going over to his friends, but his body felt so heavy now. Instead, he put down the drink and turned back to Sam.

"My life sucks right now.", he finally said. "And I can't do anything about it."

Sam squeezed his shoulder. "Just do what you have done your entire life, man", he advised him.

"Which is?"

Sam grinned bitterly. "You continue. If I learned something from you all the years, then it is this piece of wisdom."

Finn gulped.

"When I'm about to give up, I think about it. It helped me through the last days.", the blond boy went on.

Finn wondered what continue was supposed to mean. To let go Rachel or to continue fighting for her?

"I know you have been through a lot of crap now, but it is also your job to ask me what has been going on in my life lately.", Sam suddenly said.

Confused, Finn looked up. "What?"

Sam frowned, but then, he rubbed his neck. "Whatever. Forget it." He got up and pointed at the dancefloor with their friends.

Finn shook his head, but Sam didn't give up. He dragged him off the sofa to the others. Their friends cheered when they saw Sam and Finn. The quarterback tried moving to the music, but it just wouldn't work. He was about to apologize and leave again when someone wrapped her hands around his stomach.

Frowning, he turned around – and saw Quinn Fabray's face.

"Finn!", she shouted over the music and smiled. As fast as possible, he put her hands away from his body and left the dancefloor to go back to the lounge. He ordered a glass of water and sat down on the sofa.

Having seen Quinn had felt like a punch to the stomach. He felt sick when he thought about the night.

But Quinn didn't give up that easily. She went over to Finn and sat down next to him, legs crossed.

"What a bad greeting", she laughed, her eyes were sparkling. She scooted closer to Finn, the smell of her parfum made him numb.

"I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your grandmother. If you want to talk or something like that – you can always come to me." She put her hand on his leg and caressed it.

"Quinn, stop it", Finn said with a steady voice and pushed her hand away. He scooted further away and looked at her seriously.

"Did I do something wrong?", she asked, surprised.

He shook his head. "No. I'm the one who did."

Quinn cocked her eyebrows. "What is wrong with you?"

Finn shrugged. "Sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

"That's a shame", Quinn said, getting up. "We always had fun."

She went back to the dancefloor, joining Brittany and Santana.

Puck, having seen their interaction, looked over to Finn with an unreadable face expression before coming over to him.

"What was that?", he asked Finn. He just shrugged.

Puck balled his fists, eyes narrowed. "I told you not to hurt her, man. Look, I know your day sucked, but Quinn is something like a …"

"…sister to you, I know.", Finn cut him off, tired. Puck was still staring at Quinn. Normally, Finn wouldn't care, but now, that he was looking at his friend closer… He knew that kind of glance.

Puck looked at Quinn… like he looked at Rachel. Was it possible that…?

"You like Quinn?", Finn blurted out. Puck shrugged. "Yes? She is a good friend, and…"

"You know how I mean it, dude", Finn cut him off, crossing his arms.

Puck began rubbing his neck, suddenly nervous. "That's bullshit, Hudson!", he hissed.

"Look, you can have her, man. Quinn and I, we are through. Have a good evening ", Finn told him, getting up and walking to the exit.

Puck just gaped after him, perplexed.

While walking, Finn retrieved a paper from his wallet – Rachel's list.

He realized that he really had changed. This life his friends were leading wasn't appealing to him anymore. He wasn't the same person he had been before. But there was something he wanted to fight for – Rachel.

With these thoughts, he clutched the list tighter and left the club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, Concerning Samcedes: there will be a bigger storyline in the future, so don't worry :)
> 
> See you^^


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rachel was nervous when she and Mercedes entered the library after lunch break and Finn sat at his usual place, book in hand. This time, he read _The history of Musicals_. Rachel frowned and turned away, preparing the whiteboard before the others showed up.

"Matt", Mercedes began when everyone was there. "Your posters got great feedback from everyone." Matt smiled minimally.

"And our guestlist looks not bad, now. But we still need people who want to give a speech. We don't have much time left.", Rachel added.

"Ryder, did that assitant of Jamie Foxx call you back?"

"Yes", Ryder answered contritely. Rachel could imagine what came next. "He said he didn't have time. But he wants to donate a big sum."

"Well, at least something." Rachel smiled at him, encouraging. "Anyone else?"

The others didn't say anything.

"Okay, then…"

Finn cleared his throat.

Rachel didn't want to look a him. But she couldn't ignore him, either. The others would pose questions she couldn't answer. Or didn't want to.

"Yes, Hudson?", Mercedes helped her out.

"Barbra Streisand wants to give the speech at the end of the gala."

Rachel looked up with her mouth wide open.

Now, she noticed how pale Finn looked. Besides, there were dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept for days. Rachel regretted having yelled at him like that. He didn't deserve it and she wished she could talk to him and tell him why she had been so angry when he stood in front of her house.

The bad conscience must have been written all over her face, because Finn's eyes narrowed when he went on. "One of her relatives had been an orphan and grew up in an orphanage. She wants to support them. I told her you would call her to talk about the details with her."

Incredulous, Rachel stared at Finn. He could remember that Barbra was her idol? She didn't know what to think now. Maybe they really should talk after the meeting.

"That's great, Hudson", Mercedes said after Rachel hadn't said anything for a while.

"Thank you. If you know more people you can contact let us know."

Finn cleared his throat again. "The McKinley Hall is ready for the decoration people. Mr. Cabot knows they will come next Friday at four pm."

Nobody said anything for a while.

"You really work hard although you hated working here at the beginning", Tina finally commented.

Finn didn't answer but threw Rachel a glance which gave her goosebumps.

"That's directly after our meeting", Mercedes said. "We will just go over together, okay?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"The next point is the photo booth", Mercedes read from her list.

When Mercedes said these words, Rachel got an idea.

"Right." Rachel cleared her throat. "My dads can lend me the second car and I would take it to school. But the parts are a little bit heavy."

_Now or never._

"Finn", she said. "Would you help me take the photo booth to school?"

Surprised, Finn looked up. But then, he nodded.

"Yes, of course", he answered as if it wasn't a special question.

Rachel ignored the gasp of Kitty and the knowing glance of Mercedes. Instead, she spent the rest of the meeting staring at her notes, wondering what the hell she had just done.

…

When Rachel drove to the McKinley parking on Saturday, Finn was already waiting. He wore grey jeans, a black coat and a blue scarf. He was rubbing his hands to get them warm and she wondered how long he was standing there, waiting.

When he spotted her, he smiled at her, insecure. Rachel somehow missed his old smile.

She halted the car on the parking, telling herself to get her act together.

"Good morning", he said, sitting down on the shotgun seat.

He looked around in the car, eyeing the little tree air freshener on the rear mirror.

"My dad loves those things.", Rachel explained. "He loves that flowery smell, but my other dad hates it."

She really should stop talking about weird stuff. But she didn't want to talk about their failed relationship either, now. Considering they would spend some time in that car for a while.

"My grandmother liked that smell as well."

Rachel really needed to force herself to look at the road in front of her instead of turning to Finn.

"Do you miss her much?", she asked quietly.

He nodded. "Yes, kind of. It's different without her."

Rachel could see how he shrugged. "There is no cushion between me and grandfather anymore. Kurt wants to take over that position, but I try everything to prohibit it. He shouldn't be caught between two stools, especially not now."

"How is he? I haven't seen him this week."

"He's fine, I guess. I'm keeping an eye on him."

"That situation sucks so much."

"Yes." Finn didn't say anything for a while, then, he cleared his throat. "How are you?"

How could it be that this talk felt normal and weird at the same time?

"I'm fine. I…erm, got into NYADA and Harvard."

"I knew it. They would be dumb not to let you study there.", he answered. "Congrats, Rachel."

Surprised, Rachel looked over to him. He looked right back, serious.

She didn't get how he did this all the time. One day, he was devastated and stood in front of her door, trembling, the other day at McKinley, he pretended nothing ever happened.

Now, he acted so composed although Rachel knew that the incident one week ago had affected him.

"Thank you", she mumbled. "And what I said last week to you…I'm sorry about it.", she went on. "I was…"

"Rachel", Finn wanted to cut her off, but she shook her head.

"I want to get over you.", she said quietly. "But it won't be easier if I'm mean to you. I'm really sorry. It is important to me you know that."

She could feel how he looked at her. "There is nothing you need to apologize for.", he answered.

Rachel didn't know what to say. His words sounded bitter when he said them and she wanted to answer him back, but she was afraid this conversation would lead to a direction she wasn't ready for.

So nobody said anything. After it turned too awkward for her, Rachel turned on the radio, listening to Adele singing.

She was more than relieved when they finally arrived at the old building and she could get out of the car.

"That's over here", Rachel said, pointing at a garage with a colorful poster. Finn went to stand next to her, and their arms touched for a second.

Although they were both wearing thick coats, the touch felt like an electric shock to her. So Rachel stepped further away and went to the garage.

Inside, a bald man was sitting on a desk, listening to music. He looked over to the duo and started smiling.

"You have to be Rachel", he said when he came over to them.

"Yes", she nodded, taking his hand. "And this is Finn."

"I'm Dick and I will give you a short introduction to the photo booth. Follow me" They left the garage, going to a hall inside the old building. Then, he stopped in front of a box. "You decided on this one, right?"

Rachel looked closer at the box. The walls were black, the entrance was covered with red curtains.

"Inside the box is a reflex camera which will take photos if you touch the camera symbol on the touchscreen. Then, there are three seconds left until the photo will be taken. After that, you can photoshop it or just delete it and take another one."

"Sounds easy", Rachel said.

"Do you wanna try?", Dick asked, grinning.

Before Rachel could say no, Finn answered: "Yes, please."

She cocked an eyebrow, but he didn't look at her when he went inside the booth. He held open the curtains for her, looking at her expectantly.

"What are you waiting for? Enter!", Dick next to her said.

Rachel sighed and entered, looking skeptically at Finn. But he was engrossed in the touchscreen in front of him.

"Look at that thing", Finn next to her suddenly said, pointing at the dark hole in front of them.

Rachel followed orders, trying to be not too close to Finn. But somehow, Finn's strand of hair tickled her cheek and she could smell his familiar cologne. Now, she felt even warmer inside her coat. Finn next to her froze, she doubted he was even breathing. Slowly, she turned to Finn. She was so close she could touch his skin with her mouth if she wanted to.

And then, Finn pushed the camera button.

The click pulled her out of her trance mode, and she flinched.

"Seems to work", Finn said as if he didn't notice that special moment between them. Did Rachel imagine everything?

As fast as possible, Rachel left the booth were Dick was already waiting with the photos.

"A weird pose, but you could take a photo", he said and gave the four photos to her.

No, she didn't imagine what had happened.

Finn's glance…

She gulped.

She knew that glance. He must have felt the same, of that she was sure.

"Great", Rachel croaked and wanted to give the photos back to Dick, but Finn had already taken them and stuffed them into his pocket.

"Where do we have to sign?", he asked in the same business tone he had also used back then at _Hummel-Hudson's._

Dick lead them back to the garage where they signed a contract. After that, they all carried the parts to the car.

When they drove back, she turned the radio on again, a little bit louder than before. Why did she think it was a good idea to spend that much time with Finn in the same, small room?

"If it is too hot to you, I can turn down the heating", Rachel suggested, having seen how Finn had opened his coat.

"Rachel." They way he said her name was so familiar.

She clutched the steering wheel, concentrating on the road in front of her. She stopped the car when the traffic lights were red. Then, she turned to Finn.

"I just wanted to say that…"

"Please, don't", Rachel cut him off and shook her head.

Finn gritted his teeth and they just looked at each other. There were so many unspoken words between them, but Rachel was not ready yet. Not now.

In the next moment, Finn turned away. "It's green."

Rachel continued driving. The way back to school had never been longer.

* * *

The week before the gala was one of the most stressful weeks in Finn's life.

He had to catch up the school stuff he and Kurt had missed, and he still needed to prepare a lot of things for the event.

On Monday, he had to get light bulbs because Rachel and Kitty wanted better ones for dimed light.

On Tuesday, the pianist decided that he wanted to have more money for just a bit of music, so he and Ryder had to drive to him and discuss.  
On the way, Ryder convinced him to listen to the rehearsal of the orchestra and check their songs because Rachel didn't have time and Mercedes didn't understand the delicateness of classical music (Ryder's words not Finn's. As if Finn could understand it more than someone who actually wanted to study music.)

On Thursday, the entire team had to polish silver cutlery (Not Finn's favorite task) and fold napkins (He hated it). The instructions of folding were more complicated than mathematics.

His bros were looking at him weirdly when he came to the football training, tired, or when he skipped it, but luckily, they didn't pose any questions.

Finn felt like he would refuse to let go of Rachel, but the way she had looked at him in the booth some days ago, when he felt her breath against his skin…He had realized that he didn't fight in vain.

As long as there was hope, he wouldn't give up. He never had been the most patient person, but if it was about Rachel, he would wait. Rachel was worth it.

The football training was really hard, but at least, the strain was distracting him. Right now, they all had to give each other a piggyback and ran across the field.

Puck may be strong, but after ten minutes, he got tired and fell down with Finn on his back.

"Dammit!", Finn growled. He was sure he had seen his knee bleeding.

"Continue!", Coach Beiste bellowed and whistled.

"Come on", Puck said, clapping his hands.

He went to Finn while Sam and Artie were passing them, really fast.

"It's my turn", Finn said, pointing at his back. Puck rolled his eyes but followed orders. Finn ran off, passing his colleagues as fast as possible until each muscle on his body burned and the gap between them and Sam and Artie got smaller.

When they were even, Artie groaned. "Not again!" He beat Sam on the side so that he ran faster. "Give everything, man."

Sam gritted his teeth and gained speed, and Finn followed suit while Puck was shouting at him. Now that he was missing one training per week, he needed to compensate it. Not only because of his bros, but also because of Coach Beiste.

In the end, Sam and Finn arrived almost at the same time. Finn was all out of breath and fell down on the ground. He fist bumped with Artie who was sitting next to him and Sam patted his shoulder.

"Damn, you're a beast. How could you catch up that fast, Hudson?"

Finn just shrugged, too tired to answer.

"Not bad, boys!", Coach Beiste shouted and smirked. "As a reward I will buy you a drink."

The boys cheered. Although Coach Beiste really pushed them to their limits at their circuit training, it was only twice per term and she often invited them to the pub afterwards were she paid them burger and fries – which always let them forget how she had let them suffer.

"Why is Figgins here?", Mike suddenly asked, looking at the entrance of the field. Finn doubted he had ever seen him there.

"Did you screw things up again?", someone behind Finn asked when Figgins went to the coach and talked to her. Something bad must have happened, when the principal was there.

Coach Beiste jogged back to the boys, clapping her hands. "Change of plan, boys! Go to the McKinley Hall. The event management club needs help for the preparation of the gala."

Finn froze. It was six pm. The decoration company had to be done with their work by now. Some of the boys groaned, and Coach Beiste's eyes narrowed.

"Didn't I make it clear? To the McKinley Hall, now!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! I had to make two chapters out of chapter 10 or else it would have been too long...
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rachel and Mercedes were on the verge of a breakdown. The decoration company was supposed to arrive at four pm like Finn had told them, so the event management club went to the McKinley Hall to supervise their work. However, they only found Mr. Cabot who was cursing loudly on his phone. He had told them that the firm had accidently booked two appointments at the same time and had chosen the better paid one (Not McKinley).

At least, the firm would bring over the decoration stuff they had ordered. But with only the janitor and the club, they were not enough people to build up everything.

To make matters worse, Principal Figgins suddenly showed up and looked around in the empty hall, surprised. Rachel wished the floor could swallow her whole. With hot cheeks, she explained the principal what had happened, expecting he would shook his head, disappointed, and look for other leaders for the event-club.

But instead, Principal Figgins just nodded, determined, and said he would go get help.

Some minutes later, the entire football team appeared in the hall. Finn marched straight to janitor Cabot with a frown while Rachel watched how Principal Figgins went to the boys, telling them that they need to do what she and Mercedes told them.

That was half an hour ago, and now, she and Mercedes had calmed down a bit.

"That looks better than at the beginning", Mercedes said while they rolled up the wires on the stage.

Rachel looked around. Some boys were about to hang up the decoration, and Puck and Mike were about to carry the tables to the stage. But the gaps between the tables were not big enough. So Rachel hopped down the stage and went over to the two boys, telling them what was wrong.

Mike was staring at her while Puck groaned loudly. "Does that mean we need to shift around all thirty tables? You know how hard the training had been today? I can't feel my arms anymore"

Rachel smiled friendly but looked at him expectantly until Puck gave in and shook his head, sighing.

"You are one persistent chick, Rachel Berry."

While they shifted the tables around, Rachel checked the microphones with Mercedes. "Maybe we will be done in a few minutes if they all continue working like that", the black girl said, but Rachel didn't really listen to her because Finn just entered the hall.

He looked at the list Tina was showing to him and wiped his sweat away from his forehead.

Puck didn't exaggerate when he told Rachel that he couldn't feel his arms anymore. The football players looked really tired right now.

Rachel didn't want to know how the boys would feel the next day. She watched how Finn accepted a bottle of water from Matt and drank. Her cheeks heated up.

Actually, he didn't look that bad with his wet hair, his sport clothes and his reddened cheeks. She gulped.

Suddenly, she remembered the last time she had seen him like that. He had been naked and kissed her everywhere.

"Rachel?", Mercedes pulled her out of her reverie. "Can you please pass me the wire?"

"Yes." Hastily, Rachel looked away, trying to think about more innocent things.

Late in the evening, they were finally done decorating. There was only one incident - Matt almost had been stroke dead by a part of the stage – but luckily, he got away with a shock and a scratch. Surprisingly, Kitty of all people took care of the wound considerately.

Rachel was content with the result. Although it didn't look as professional as planned, she was proud anyway. She could imagine how the mood would be the next day – the elegantly dressed guests, the good smelling food, the classical music and the smiling face of their proud principal.

She went over to the boys who were about to drink water with big gulps. Without them, they never would have carried it off like that. Rachel cleared her throat and they turned their heads, Finn included. Dammit, the butterflies in her stomach were moving again.

"Thanks for helping us out", Rachel started, looking at each boy minus Finn. She didn't want to blush in front of the football team. "We really owe you big time."

"How about you buy a drink for us?" Puck suggested, grinning. "That would be…funny."

"My offer still stands", Coach Beiste said. "We wanted to celebrate the successful training in a pub", she explained to Rachel.

"A great suggestion, Coach", Sam smiled, clapping his hands. "So we will all go to _Red Panther_?"

The boys nodded in agreement.

"I will pay the first drink", Coach Beiste told her boys. "The event management club is invited, either, Rachel. You also worked really hard."

"I wouldn't say that. Without us, they would have been screwed", a guy Rachel didn't know, mumbled.

"Shut up, Azimio", Finn said dangerously.

Azimio gritted his teeth.

"Let's go", Coach Beiste called out and nodded to the exit.

The boys left, Kitty, Matt, Tina and Ryder followed them. Rachel never would have thought that the event management team and the football team would go to a bar together – voluntarily.

Mercedes nudged her. "I think I will head home, instead. I have a headache now, but I want to be fit for the event tomorrow."

Rachel nodded. "Good idea. That would be a shame if you got sick. Go and rest. Don't worry, I can do the rest alone."

So Mercedes waved at her and left.

The brunette went over to her phone on the piano, turning on quiet music. Then, she looked at her list.

"You didn't join the others", a voice suddenly said behind her.

Rachel turned around and saw Finn standing at the entrance door. He was still wearing his training clothes, his hands were in his pockets. His glance was unreadable.

"I just wanted to check everything", Rachel answered.

Finn entered the hall and her heart skipped a beat when he came closer. "Can I help you?"

Like on autopilot, she shook her head. "No, that's not necessary. Thanks." She turned around, checking the table in front of her. The table she had checked twice before.

"You don't need to do that alone." His voice sounded closer than before. "I feel bad because of the company anyway."

"That was not your fault", Rachel mumbled. She didn't know whether she could be alone with him in one room. Even the McKinley Hall seemed so small all of a sudden. Her body felt drawn to him and she couldn't do anything about it.

She took a deep breath, looking at her list. If Finn was convinced he needed to help her, he wouldn't disappear that fast. She knew him.

"The overhead projector needs to be checked", Rachel said after a while, daring to turn around.

"Okay."

He went to the stage and she followed him. Gosh, why was she so tensed up? It wasn't supposed to be like that between the two of them. But she didn't know how it was supposed to be.

Finn and she were through.

_They were through. They were through. They were through._

Rachel just needed to convince her heart. And her body.

Finn looked at the wires and checked the overhead projector. He plugged some of them off and put them elsewhere.

"Rachel, I need to tell you something.", he suddenly mumbled.

Her heart was racing. "What?", she croaked almost inaudibly.

Finn lifted a wire. "That wire is damaged."

She blinked, irritated and looked at the wire in his hand. "Oh."

He drooped the wire slowly. "It sounds like you expected I said something else."

That tone. So deep and soft and calm. Rachel got goosebumps but shook her head.

"If you are ready to listen to me know, I will finally say it."

She held her breath and stared at Finn – that's the only thing she could do at the moment.

"I'm sorry.", he said.

"Finn…"

"There is so much I want to tell you.", he cut her off quietly and came closer. Rachel realized that his body was drawn to hers, just like a magnet.

 _I feel the same_ , she wanted to say. Her knees were so weak, now.

There was so much she wanted to say, so many words, but her throat was dry and she couldn't talk. She cleared her throat.

"We are here because of the gala. Because of the event management club. Not because we want to talk"

"But I need to talk to you. Dammit, Rachel, I cannot wait any longer."

His words were passionate, but his voice was soft. As if he was afraid he would chase her away with his loud voice.

"Please, Rachel. You don't need to say anything. Just listen.", he pleaded.

She couldn't move. She was just standing on her spot with stiff shoulders when he came closer.

"I'm sorry.", he whispered.

"For what exactly?", she asked quietly.

On Silvester, she wanted to erase him from his life, but now…now it felt like they were about to do the opposite.

"For everything.", he answered. "Just everything."

Her breath quickened. How did Finn do that? Now she felt lost and found at the same time. She felt like she was in a fairytale with the beautifully decorated hall and the prince charming in front of her.

But she was supposed to concentrate on the gala, for god's sake! Not on her feelings. Not on the fact that she felt like she was in a fairytale with the beautifully decorated hall and the prince charming in front of her.

"I am sorry", he repeated. Although his glance was wistful and remorseful, he looked not that hopeless.

That was her Finn.

_Her Finn._

No matter what happened between the two of them: Finn would always be a part of Rachel, like she would be a part of him.

That thought was shocking to her and tore down the walls around her heart.

"I acted like an idiot.", he whispered, lifted his hand and touched her face.

She had to close her eyes because that situation was so overwhelming. Was that really happening?

"When grandfather told me about grandmother's death, something inside me died as well. I couldn't think straight, and I am so sorry."

Emotions she thought she didn' thave anymore overwhelmed Rachel. She reopened her eyes.

"You hurt me.", she whispered.

Finn looked at her, desperate. "And I am regretting so much I have hurt you, Rachel. I wish I could undo this."

She shook her head. "I don't know whether I can ever forget what you have done to me."

"You don't need to. I won't, either. What I have done that evening was the biggest mistake of my life." He took a deep breath. "I understand if you don't want to forgive me. But you need to know how sorry I am."

He pressed his lips together and looked down. He blinked a few times. Rachel could see how he fought back his tears. But Rachel's eyes had started burning as well when he had said these words.

Finn needed a while to compose himself. "I am aware it is not your job to make me happy. I didn't mean it like that."

He rubbed his face. "You don't need to forgive me. We don't need to get back together, either. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I don't want to lead a life where you aren't part of. No matter how."

He took another deep breath, his eyes were glassy. "The person you got to know at Harvard…that's me. And I would like to prove it to you."

Their night was the best in Rachel's life, she needed to admit that. How they had told each other about their dreams and fears. How they had held each other tight. Seeing Finn like that reminded her of Harvard.

Now, he was the man he had showed her that night. The man she fell in love with.

Carefully, Rachel stepped forward and pulled him in a hug. Finn stiffened, surprised, but then, he laid his arms around her as well.

"I'm so sorry", he mumbled again.

"I know", she whispered.

Like that, they stood under the chandelier in the middle of the McKinley Hall. Finn was holding her softly, allowing her to pull away anytime, but she didn't.

Nothing had felt so right like doing that, it was like returning home after a long trip.

Finn's hands on her back were soft, his chest was raising and sinking down with hers while his words gave her the feeling that maybe there was still hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: The charity gala *_*


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for you, Samcedes shippers!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Mercedes got out of the car after her dad parked it at McKinley. "Have a good evening, sweetie", Mr. Jones said. "And don't drink too much. No, don't drink at all, we don't want you to risk your scholarship."

"Yes, sir", she said jokingly and pecked him on his cheek before she got out. After a while, she met Rachel at the parking.

"White girl! You look fabulous in the dress I have chosen for you!", she greeted her, pulling her into a hug. Rachel wore a [violet dress](https://img.veaul.com/product/2e6817e928273323d4eda542a7b62b3c/classy-gradient-color-purple-evening-dresses-2020-a-line-princess-spaghetti-straps-crystal-lace-flower-rhinestone-sequins-sleeveless-backless-floor-length-long-formal-dresses-800x800.jpg) with an updo hairstyle and bright blue high heels.

The brunette smiled. "Thanks, Mercedes. You don't look bad yourself!" Mercedes had decided on a [soft pink dres](https://contestimg.wish.com/api/webimage/5b68f6efc94f531848cd254d-large.jpg?cache_buster=b22b666b3298b5aa9e905c9c83ec3ccd)s with curly hair and silver heels.

"Thanks! My grandma gave it to me. I have admit, she really has style."

Three years ago, it was like torture to find appropriate clothing for Mercedes. She needed to find not only clothes that fitted but also fashionable ones. The majority of the designers seemed to think that all plus size people seemed to have the same waist and the same physique, but that wasn't true.

That's why Mercedes was happy with the changes she had already made with her blog. Because tonight, she could wear a dress that fitted her perfectly and feel like a princess (Okay, not really given that there were real princesses at McKinley, so not a good comparison).

Rachel and Mercedes linked arms, something she would have never done years ago. Actually, she couldn't believe she and Rachel had become close friends after all those years of rivalry. And to be honest, it made her happy.

They entered the McKinley Hall and looked around. Waiters were going from table to table with tablets with champagne that costed a fortune, a pianist in tails was playing a classical melody which filled the entire room.

"We really have done a good job", Mercedes whispered to Rachel, nudging her.

"Rachel!", a voice called out they both knew too much.

Mercedes turned around, spotting Ryder immediately. "Ryder, hi", Rachel answered, smiling tightly.

"The caterers arrived ten minutes ago and are preparing the food.", he said. "Hey, Mercedes."

She just nodded at him, and Ryder turned back to Rachel, smiling and blushing.

Oh man.

In her opinion, Rachel should tell him to let that be. But Rachel didn't want to. Whatever, her problem.

Some minutes later, the party started. Rachel went to the caterers to check everything and Mercedes decided to drink a cocktail. She would have taken a glass of that expensive champagne, but her dad was right. She was just a scholarship holder. Figgins wouldn't be that forgiving if she broke the rules like he was with wealthy Finn Hudson and his clique. She didn't want to risk her acceptance of Harvard.

So, she ordered the kids punch with cherries, instead.

"Hello, beauty", a voice next to her suddenly said. Mercedes froze and turned around slowly.

Sam Evans was standing next to her in his black and white tuxedo. Mercedes looked around, realizing he was indeed talking to her.

"Hello?", she answered, one eyebrow cocked.

Sam looked at her dress, impressed. Mercedes on the other side put her hands on her hips.

"Where are they?", she asked.

He blinked, irritated. "Where is who?"

"Your friends who wanted you to flirt with me? Is it a dare or something?"

"Why do you think they dared me to talk to you?"

Mercedes cocked her head to the side. "Come on, Evans."

They were staring at each other for a while, frowning.

"Believe me, I can talk to a beautiful girl because _I_ want to.", Sam finally said.

She opened her mouth and closed it again. Then, she looked closer at him. His corners of his mouth weren't twitching and there was no malicious sparkling in his eyes.

Maybe he really wanted to flirt. Maybe he really found her attractive after all the years.

Mercedes didn't know what to think. Normally, she was good at small talk, but this time, she was at a loss of words. Yes, she had once told Rachel she would never fall for one of these snobs of McKinley, but she always found Sam cute, even if she would never say it out loud.

But she was still skeptical.

"Look at that, now you realize I'm existing. Why don't you go hang out with Barbie doll-Quinn? Or disney-Princess Santana?", Mercedes asked with sass in her voice. "They are more popular and prettier" _And skinnier_ , a bitter voice inside her said, but she quickly pushed that thought aside.

Sam looked confused. "I never liked Quinn like that. Our friends set us up for fun, but she was always making out with Finn. And Santana is too impulsive. And besides, she is busy.", he said, nodding at the Latina who was about to kiss Sebastian Smythe relentlessly. This time, Santana wore a [dark red gown](https://www.xdressy.com/uploads/product/1/7/17897/split-red-gold-lace-applique-elegant-prom-dress-1.jpg) with two glittering braids. Mercedes made a mental note to ask her later whether she could tell her where she got that dress from.

"Hey", Sam said, and Mercedes looked back at him. "Don't think any less of you. You _are_ beautiful", he said, serious. "And to be honest, I always knew you existed. But I never had he courage to talk to you, actually. You always went down the hallways so…confident and that was kind of intimidating to me. Because in reality, I'm much more of a coward than everyone might think."

Mercedes stepped closer. Screw her scepticism. "Is that so?", she whispered. Sam also stepped closer to her and she could feel his breath. "Yes." She wondered how his skin would feel against hers. And whether it was warm.

Sam looked at her with his sparkling eyes. "Mercedes", he said, and she loved the way he pronounced her name. "Maybe we should…"

"Sam", a deep voice interrupted him, and Mercedes was pulled out of her trance mode. She stepped back and turned around.

It was Finn Hudson.

That Finn who had broken her friend's heart.

That Finn who had kissed another girl making Rachel act like a lovesick zombie during the holidays.

Mercedes got angry when she thought about it, but Finn continued speaking.

"Don't do anything dumb, man. Get lost.", he ordered sternly.

Sam stopped smiling and he looked really pissed now. He cursed under his breath, then, he looked back at Mercedes.

"I wished we could have talked more, Mercedes."

He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, turned on his heel and left before Mercedes could say anything. Finn looked after Sam, angry. Why did she get the feeling he had only kissed her to piss off Finn?

"Sorry, Mercedes", Finn murmured and followed Sam, leaving her alone at the bar.

* * *

Finn found Sam in the entrance hall along with the other boys.

"Hudson! You here?", Puck smirked. Finn ignored him, looking at Sam instead.

"What were you thinking?", he hissed. Finn knew from Rachel how fragile Mercedes was in reality. He also knew that his bros tended to play games with girls.

Sam didn't answer but took a sip of the hip flask instead.

"Sam."

He rolled his eyes. "We just talked. Don't exaggerate."

"I didn't look like just talking to me."

Sam snorted. "I'm sick of always being considerate of your orders."

Finn cocked his eyebrows. "You and considerate?"

"You know what, Hudson? Fuck you", he answered, downing the content of his hip flask and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Sam", Artie said warningly.

"No, Artie. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit." Sam turned back to Finn.

"You are breaking our oath we took in the summer. Now, you are skipping the training because you take part at this darned event management club, you leave parties to visit your 'girlfriend' and you pretend you are a prude when I want to flirt harmlessly. I have a feeling you give a shit about all of us. You don't even listen when I'm trying to tell you something."

"That's bullshit", Finn retorted.

Sam just shook his head. "You know what? Mind your own shit. That's what you can do best."

Confused, Finn looked at him. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

The blond boy narrowed his eyes. "That's exactly what I mean", he hissed. "I always try to tell you something, but you don't care."

"Come on, Sam." Deep down, Finn knew that he was right. When they had been at the party last time, he had hinted that he wanted to talk about something, but Finn just ignored it. Now, he felt bad.

"What, come on? I'm right, you know that. The only thing in your head is Rachel, other things don't matter to you anymore.", he said, enraged.

"I…" Finn's voice vanished. At the same time, he got angry. "There was so much going on in my life, but it had nothing to do with you."

"You started acting like that since you met her, so stop coming to her defense. That just sucks, I don't know you like that."

"Calm down, man", Mike told him, but Sam just ignored him.

"You are pretending Rachel is a cure for your oh-so-bad life. Something like a saint. But she isn't, right Puck?" Puck flinched like he had just slapped him.

"Sam, dude, you really should…"

"I understand you are angry. I had been a crappy friend and I'm sorry, but don't blame it on Rachel. You don't know her.", Finn said.

"You are right, I don't. But Puck does." Sam smirked mischievously. Finn turned to Puck who had paled a bit.

"I have seen you in the hallway back then, so don't deny it", Sam countered.

Finn opened his mouth and closed it again. He knew what Sam wanted to say.

"What are you saying?"

"It's not the right place to talk about something like that.", Artie mumbled, but Finn shook his head.

"What was Sam talking about, Puck?", he wanted to know.

Puck hesitated, but Finn's glance was unrelenting. After a couple of seconds, Puck cleared his throat. "Rachel and I made out on a Back-To-School-Party."

Finn's heat started racing, his throat was dry.

"Well, that's messed up, man", Sam mumbled after a while. "Rachel never told you she had made out with one of your best friends."

"Shut the hell up, Sam.", Finn growled.

"Apparently, she is not the nice girl next door.", he went on. "Maybe you will stop idealizing her now."

"Another word, Sam, and I swear…"

"But he is right", Puck cut him off. "If you had been so important to her than she is to you, she would have told you."

Finn turned around, clutching him by his lapel. Puck didn't defend himself, but only stared at him with his dark eyes instead.

"You know I tell the truth. Or else you wouldn't flip out like that."

Finn realized he really did think about Rachel only. All the time, he had only tried to win her back and neglected his entourage. Not only Kurt, but also his friends. But for what?

_For what, goddammit?_

"What are you doing here?", someone whispered, panicked.

Rachel.

Finn turned to her and felt a pain in his chest. He was overwhelmed with this situation. He didn't realize there were some gala guests standing behind Rachel, watching what happened with aghast face expressions.

"What are you doing?", she repeated, looking back and forth between Finn and Puck.

"Finn just learned our secret, Rachel."

The brunette paled instantly.

Finn really wanted to punch Puck in the face, now. But then, he thought about the balled fist of his grandfather. He let go of Puck. He couldn't stay there any longer.

"Finn…", Rachel whispered.

He only shook his head, turned around and left.

* * *

Mercedes was more than bored now. She was sitting alone at the table because Rachel just disappeared to god knows where.

So she tried talking to the guests to do some research for her blog.

She took a photo from the [stunning dress](https://www.victoriagowns.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/89393066b1de6c9924c14c145a83d718/v/i/victoriagowns-po16033po1700-1.jpg) of the freshman Marley Rose, the daughter of the owner of a restaurant chain. Mercedes tried to do some small talk, but that girl was so introverted and shy, and they ran out of themes fast.  
After a while, Marley excused herself, went to the toilet and never returned. Well, at least Mercedes had the photo.

Then, she asked Brittany whether she could take a photo of [her dress](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0019/8262/7897/products/IMG_6037_1200x1200.jpg?v=1580341537) and the blonde said yes. But after they had taken the photo, Brittany only talked about a certain Lord Tubbington, saying things that didn't make sense.  
Ten minutes later, Mercedes realized that this guy was actually a cat. She was a bit relieved.

Would be creepy if a fat, smoking guy with a bad clothing taste and questioning hobbies would be living at Brittany's.

This time, it was Mercedes who excused herself in order to escape. Don't get her wrong, Brittany was a really nice girl with an admittedly weird sense of humor, but talking about Brittany's cat all the time was irritating to her.

On top of that, while she and Brittany were talking, Santana glared daggers at the black girl while dancing with Sebastian _Horseteeth_ Smythe. The longer Mercedes talked to Brittany, the more uncomfortable she felt.

When she wanted to go back to the bar, she saw Sam.

He was leaning against the entrance door. And he smiled at her. Mercedes looked around, checking if he really smiled at _her_ and not at some other girl, but there was no one. Just like before.

She went over to him, he continued looking at her.

"You are back again", Mercedes said to Sam when she was in front of him. He nodded, still smiling.

"We weren't done, right?" Was that ambiguous? This time, it was definitely a flirt. But Mercedes was not in the mood.

"No, we weren't.", she answered anyway. Maybe that evening wouldn't be that lame in the end.

 _But be careful_ , a voice in her head said.

In the next moment, Sam took her by the hand. Surprised, Mercedes looked at their intertwined fingers and then to his face. He cocked one eyebrow and squeezed her hand, nodding at the exit.

Mercedes thought for a second, but Sam squeezed her hand again. She had never seen a more interesting boy. She wanted to know what the matter was with what happened before. Why he always feigned that nonchalant smile, but his glance was so bitter.

So, she nodded and together, they went to the exit of the McKinley Hall. A woman with a burgundy colored dress passed them and Mercedes looked after her. She looked beautiful.

Sam threw her a questioning glance.

"I like fashion. The clothes the people are wearing here…I could look at them the entire evening." Mercedes looked at Sam, trying to find out whether he found it weird, but his eyes were still sparkling with interest.

"I have an idea", he suddenly said and went up the stairs. Mercedes followed him carefully so that she didn't step on the seam of her dress.

On the upper floor were hanging expensive looking paintings or photos of well-known graduates of McKinley. Mercedes followed Sam to the banister, and they looked down. Where they were standing, they had the best view to the entrance of the McKinley Hall and could look at people without them noticing. Nobody would look up, that part of the gallery was too dark.

"You are a genius", Mercedes beamed.

Sam grinned. "No one had ever called me like that before. It was the opposite, actually."

"So I will grant you that name from now on." She pretended she would knight him and Sam took her hand, holding it tight.

Suddenly, he looked serious which made Mercedes' stomach prickle.

No one had ever looked at her like that. Really no one.

For the other boys, she had always been just Mercedes, the black, chubby girl next door. At McKinley, it only got worse. It had hurt, yes, but at the same time, she became the independent, unapproachable woman she was now.

But at the moment, she couldn't breathe normally anymore. Sam looked down her mouth and to her eyes again, still holding her hand.

There were these sparks between them which got more and more intense. She had never felt something like that before.

"Sorry I just disappeared", he said quietly. "Some people think they have to protect you from me."

"Why?", Mercedes whispered back.

He continued looking at her. "Because they know me."

And then, he closed the gap between them and pressed his lips against hers. Sam pulled her closer. His lips were really soft and she deepened the kiss. But suddenly, Mercedes tasted something on his tongue.

Alcohol.

She pulled away and shook her head.

"Sam."

Irritated, he looked at her.

"What?"

Her heart was skipping a beat. Even if it was the shortest kiss in the history of kisses, she could still feel his lips on hers.

"I didn't imagine my first kiss like that.", she answered quietly, looking down to the people. A woman was on the stairs with a glittering dress. It looked like the skyline at night.

"You first kiss, hm?" Sam's tone was soft, now.

"Yes.", she mumbled bashfully.

For a moment, he didn't say anything. "I'm sorry.", he finally whispered.

Mercedes looked at Sam again.

"This week really sucked for me. I thought we could cheer up each other a bit."

"We can talk about it if you want to", Mercedes suggested. "But not more. Especially not now that you are drunk."

"I'm not drunk. Maybe a bit tipsy. I know exactly what I'm doing now. And I would do it again even if I hadn't drunk anything, just for your information.", he said, frowning.

"Okay."

Sam nodded, sitting down at the bench next to him. He crossed his arms, looking at the chandelier on the ceiling.

"Why did this week suck?", Mercedes asked after a while.

He held his breath and stiffened, seemingly not expecting this question.

But then, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "My parents went bankrupt."

"What happened?"

Sam shrugged. "My dad made an error in judgement in stock market. He lost almost everything."

Oh boy. People at McKinley were millionaires or even billionaires. Mercedes couldn't imagine how it must have been for a person like that to lose almost everything from one day to the next.

"I'm sorry."

Sam pressed together his lips and stared at the banister.

"What does that mean to you?", she asked carefully.

"We are going to move. After that, I have no idea. At least, the family of my cousin Chandler insisted to pay the school fee of McKinley for the rest of my junior year and for my senior year, and also those of my younger siblings' private schools. But I don't know whether they will help us out with the fee of university."

"There are a lot of scholarships. Rachel and I are going to apply for some of them. Maybe you could try, too?", Mercedes suggested.

He nodded absentmindedly. "Yes, maybe."

They listened to the orchestra which was playing Mozart, nobody said anything.

But then, he turned to Mercedes, looking at her. His glance wasn't lost all of a sudden, but interested and curious.

"It's your turn", he said. "Tell me something about you. I just know you are Rachel's friend, the leader of the management club, you have a great singing voice and you love fashion."

Surprised, Mercedes cocked her eyebrows. She always thought she was invisible to Sam Evans all the years, but maybe, she was wrong. How else could he know all those things about her?

"Since September, I have a blog about plus-size fashion. It's called _Plus Size Matters_.", she started. Sam started smiling again. "That sounds cool. How did you get that idea?"

His question surprised her in a positive way.

"All my life, I had been corpulent." She paused for a second, waiting for Sam's reaction, but he surprised her again. He was looking at her, interested and waiting for her to continue.

"It's not because I eat too much, like people might think. It is like it is. And I have a lot of problems finding appropriate clothes for my physique. So, I started creating my own clothes one day. I also share them on my blog, but I mainly animate people like me to accept and love themselves like they are."

Sam smiled even wider. "You really sound like a superheroine, Mercedes."

Mercedes felt how her cheeks reddened. Bur false modesty wasn't her thing, either.

"I _am_ a superheroine."

Now, Sam was laughing. His laugh was music to her ears, and she was convinced she would still remember that laugh when she went home. For a split second, she regretted having pulled away from that kiss. But deep inside, she knew it had been the right decision.

"I know what I will do tonight", Sam said after a while.

"What?"

His green eyes were sparkling. "I will read all the entries you have posted. Each one."

Mercedes needed to smile. "Well, have fun, then. I have posted three entries per week since September."

"Okay", he answered. "I'm gonna need some time for that."

The orchestra stopped playing and Mercedes applauded. A man downstairs looked up confusedly, and she ducked down, hoping he hadn't seen her. She wasn't even sure they were allowed to be upstairs.

Sam laughed a bit. "You really don't want to be seen with me."

"If Rachel knew I'm sitting here with a boy instead of helping her, she would flip out." Well, actually, Mercedes had no idea where Rachel was, actually. She had just disappeared.

Sam's face fell. He opened his mouth, then, he closed it again.

"I should bring you back down, then. I hope Rachel didn't notice you disappeared."

Mercedes was a bit disappointed, but she knew he was right. Sam took her by the hand and together, they went down the stairs.

"Thanks you have saved my evening, Mercedes Jones.", Sam said, and his words sounded earnest.

He kissed her hand, turned around and left. Mercedes really wanted to convince him to stay. But he was already gone.

She stared down her hand where he had kissed her. The spot still felt warm. Mercedes sighed dreamily.

Maybe Samuel Evans really wasn't an arrogant snob like she had wrongly assumed.

She hoped it wouldn't be the last time she had met him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, Finn and Rachel will have a heart-to-heart talk.
> 
> See you next time ;)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As announced, the heart-to-heart talk. I hope you will like it, it took me some time to write it.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rachel didn't sleep that night. Instead, she had spent the night thinking about what had happened at the party. Now that Finn and she had made a big step forwards, something like that needed happen.

What was really frustrating was that she couldn't tell Finn with her own words what exactly had happened between Puck and her.

On the party, she had sent him a text, but he didn't answer. Rachel understood he was disappointed, but on the other hand, he saying nothing drove her crazy.

While she was lying in her bed, she stared at the acceptance letter of Harvard and NYADA which were on her pin board. She needed to choose one in the end, but she still had time.

All she could think about was what Finn had told her two days ago.

_The person you got to know at Harvard…that's me. And I would like to prove it to you._

The thought that maybe it might be too late dried her throat. Frustrated, she got up and put her clothes on. She really needed to leave her room and distract herself or else she would flip out.

"Good morning, darling", Hiram said in a good mood when she entered the kitchen. The smell of scrambled eggs was in the air. LeRoy looked at her closer. "Did you even get some sleep, Rachel?", he asked, concerned.

Curious, her dads looked at her when she sat down. "Of course." She put some eggs onto her plate and accepted the cup of coffee LeRoy was giving to her.

"Organizing an event like that must be tiring for you, right?", Hiram said softly. Rachel nodded, tired. Luckily, they had no idea what really was going on.

When they were done eating, Rachel immediately went up to her room, realizing someone had sent her a text during breakfast. With trembling hands, she checked the text.

_Finn: Can we talk?_

Quick, she texted him back.

_Rachel: Of course. Where and when?_

She counted the seconds until he texted back and held her breath.

_Finn: I would drive off now. At yours?_

Rachel hesitated. She had never invited Finn to her place. Introducing him to her dads would be a big step.  
But deep inside, she knew she was ready. She could be with him without breaking down. And the wish to talk to him was overwhelming.

So she texted him:

_Rachel: Okay._

Phone in hand, she headed to the living room to her dads. Hiram was busy reading a book, LeRoy was doing something on his laptop.

"May Finn come over in a few minutes?", she asked.

Hiram looked up from his book, exchanging surprised glances with LeRoy.

"Darling, we only want your best", LeRoy said slowly. "And we noticed how devastated you had been in December."

"That wasn't my Rachel", Hiram agreed. "And actually, I don't want you to meet that boy again."

Rachel opened and closed her mouth.

Her dads never had forbidden her something. Maybe because her entire life was all about her family and hard work to become a star. Now, she felt something like irritation and anger because of what they had said.

"Finn is…" She searched for the right words. She had no idea what had happened between her and Finn.

Maybe she would convince them sometime how much Finn meant to her. That she would always love him. But until then, she needed more time. She had no idea herself what was gonna happen herself.

"Please, just trust me", she pleaded.

Again, they exchanged glances.

Hiram sighed. "You are eighteen, Rachel. We can't forbid it. But if he comes over, we want to get to know him was well."

She nodded.

"Is that boy vegetarian?", LeRoy asked her suddenly.

She had to think about it. "I don't think so."

A few weeks ago, she had started eating meat again. She had headed to KFC after Finn had kissed Quinn to console herself with fried chicken. And then, she had realized she had actually missed the taste of meat. Her dads were somewhat relieved they didn't need to be considerate to her eating habits anymore.

"Good. I wanted to cook Spaghetti Bolognese. Finn is invited." LeRoy turned back to his laptop.

"That's a good idea", Hiram agreed, smiling. He tried not to look tensed, but he still looked a bit skeptical.

Rachel assumed that the conversation was over, so she left the living room, going to the kitchen from where she had a good look of the cars.

After ten minutes, the Rolls-Royce appeared on their street. Rachel sprinted to the entrance door. She didn't want one of her dads to greet Finn first.

She opened the door before Finn could get out of the limousine.

"Hey", he said when he arrived at their porch. His voice was raspy.

She would like to hug him for that word. Some months ago, it drove her crazy he greeted everyone like that, but now, this word seemed so familiar to her. Almost normal.

"Good morning", she answered, letting him in.

The moment he went over their threshold was a meaningful one for Rachel. She wondered whether he was aware he was the first boy and second friend she had ever brought home. The first boy who meant so much to her and whom she trusted enough to introduce to her parents.

Seeing Finn standing in their small hallway was weird. He wore a grey coat, jeans and a blue pullover. His hair was a bit wet. Rachel resisted the urge to touch it.

"Do you want to give me your coat?", she asked.

Finn nodded absentmindedly while he looked around. He looked at the embarrassing photo were Rachel had been seven, chocolate was all over her face. He looked at all photos while he took off his coat and gave it to her.

Rachel carefully hung up the coat and went to the living room. Finn followed her, but before she opened the door, she turned back to him.

"Are you vegetarian?"

He blinked and shook his head. "No?"

She nodded. "Good."

They then entered the room, Rachel had never been more nervous.

"Dads, this is Finn.", she said, pointing at him.

Finn took a deep breath before coming over to Hiram. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Berry."

"Hello, Finn", Hiram smiled. "Call me Hiram."

Rachel couldn't see his initial skepticism anymore. Whether he was a good actor, or he just felt sorry because Finn's grandmother had died, Rachel had no idea.

"Alright", Finn said. "Hiram."

LeRoy wasn't as good to hide his distrust. His glance was cold and he almost squashed Finn's hand when he shook it. Finn kept a straight face.

Luckily, Hiram interrupted the awkward moment. "We would like to invite you for dinner, Finn.", he said. "So that we could get to know each other more."

Rachel closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She hoped her dads didn't overwhelm Finn now.

"I would love to have dinner with you", Finn answered. "I don't have any plans, anyway."

"Great", LeRoy said soundlessly, with cocked eyebrows.

Nobody said anything for a while, so Rachel took Finn's arm and dragged him away. When they were on the stairs, she realized what she had just done: She had touched him as if it was nothing special- As if she would always do that.

She let go of him quickly.

"I didn't clean my room or something", she explained when they stopped in front of her door.

Finn shook his head. "No problem. I came spontaneously."

Rachel nodded and opened the door, letting Finn enter first. He needed to laugh. Surprised, she looked at him.

"How does you room look tidied up, Rachel Berry?" The butterflies in her stomach were not dead. They were moving faster than ever.

Seeing Finn in her room was great.

Seeing him laugh made her happy.

Longing made Rachel want to hug Finn, but she stayed on his spot.

Finn stopped smiling and looked serious, now.

"What happened yesterday…I'm sorry about that.", Rachel started.

Finn shook his head slowly.

"I should have told you sooner. That's…"

"Rachel", he said quietly. "You don't owe me an explanation."

He was right, she knew that. But nevertheless, she wished she could turn back time to undo what had happened at the gala.

"Why did you leave, then?", she asked carefully.

He gulped. "It was just too much for me. Sam, Puck and I never got into a fight like that."

"I know how much the friendship with the boys means to you.", Rachel said quietly. "And I'm sorry."

Finn went over to her desk, playing with her pens. "You don't need to apologize. I didn't come here to talk about Puck."

"Why did you come here, then?", she whispered. No idea where her voice was.

He looked back to Rachel. "Do you know why Sam was pissed?", he asked.

She shook her head and came closer to him. "No."

"He was pissed because he got a feeling you are more important to me than anything." Finn paused before he went on. "And he was right."

He looked down while he said those words.

"Finn", she whispered, and he looked back up.

There were so many emotions in his eyes right now, and it overwhelmed her. Carefully, she lifted her hand to his cheek. His skin felt warm, and Finn grabbed her hand, holding it softly.

Some months ago, she had held him like that, pleading him not to leave her. Back then, he had taken her hand away and turned away.

But not now.

Finn held her hand and closed his eyes. His body trembled when she caressed his cheek. He reopened his eyes and Rachel held her breath.

"I don't want something standing between us, Rachel", he said.

Rachel could barely breathe when Finn was so close. She realized that he felt the same.

She didn't want to be separated from him any longer.

She couldn't be mad or sad any longer.

She wanted to love Finn again.

Even after two months, the longing didn't disappear. It was the opposite. And there was nothing she could do about it.

"I feel the same.", she whispered.

Finn pulled her closer and hugged her while Rachel's eyes started burning and hot tears were running down her cheeks. Finn was mumbling something into her hair. Even though she didn't understand him, she knew what he was saying.

* * *

Finn didn't know how long they were standing like that. After some time, he sat on her desk, Rachel was leaning against him. His heart was beating so loud right now, and he was sure Rachel heard it. He was breathing in her sweet smell of her apple shampoo. He couldn't believe all of that was happening. Now, his life wasn't in shards anymore. It just felt so right, he could stay like that forever.

"I have missed you so much.", she said quietly, and his heart skipped a beat. Finn caressed her back softly. The silk of her blouse felt so soft. Just like Rachel.

"What I said back then…I'm sorry about that." He really wanted to say it again.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so mean to you."

Finn shook his head. "You weren't mean. You were right, I shouldn't be a burden to you. That's not how a relationship works.", he answered.

When he said relationship, Rachel lifted her head and pulled away. She threw him a cautious glance and the next words just came out of him.

"It's just… When I look at you, I think that my life is fine. I feel home – really home. I never felt like that before, Rachel, with no one. You give me that feeling that I'm not alone. And that's what I missed the most. The feeling to be…whole."

Rachel took a deep breath.

"I don't know whether it makes sense", he said.

"It makes sense", Rachel answered. "Of course it makes sense."

"I don't want you to feel pressured."

Rachel looked at Finn's face. Finn was sure his cheeks were as red as hers right now. He was feeling warm and he just fought back his tears. But Rachel didn't look at him as if she would find that embarrassing or something.

Instead, there was this warmth in her eyes that gave him goosebumps.

"I don't feel like that.", she whispered. "Not anymore."

Then, she stretched up and kissed him. Finn was surprised, but Rachel came closer and closed the gap. That wasn't why he came here. But now, she kissed him, and her hands were on his body, and it drove him crazy…

"Finn?", Rachel leaned back and looked at him, insecure.

Now, he realized he was so overwhelmed he hadn't returned the kiss.

"I…" Suddenly, Rachel's eyes widened, and she stepped back. She gulped and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just thought…I shouldn't have…"

"Rachel", he croaked. He pulled her back with his hands. Then, he leaned forward and kissed the girl he loved for the first time since over two months.

Rachel sighed into his mouth, he pulled her closer by her neck.

Oh man.

He had really, really missed that.

The way Rachel moved. Her beautiful mouth. The quiet noise she was making when their tongues touched.

Rachel gasped, delighted when he kissed her across the jawline.

Panting, he pulled away from her.

Although they were really close now, they were not ready for more. Not yet. And when Rachel buried her face in his neck, just holding him, Finn knew she was thinking the same.

He caressed her back and held her tight – seconds, minutes, hours. It was like the world would stop turning. There were only the two of them.

…

Finn didn't how long they were standing like that, but when they let go of each other, it felt like an eternity had passed.

They smiled at each other; Rachel straightened out her skirt. It was obvious neither of them knew what came next.

Finn cleared his throat. "I should…"

"How is…", Rachel started at the same time, and they both needed to laugh.

"You first", Finn said.

Rachel smiled. "I just wanted to ask how Kurt was. I didn't see him yesterday evening."

"He is better, now. He had a cold, so he stayed at home this time to recover."

Concerned, Rachel frowned. "But otherwise, he is fine, right?"

Finn nodded. "Yes, yes. He didn't cut for three days in a row", he said proudly.

It was good that he didn't need to be careful around Rachel what to say and what not. She knew all their secrets and there was nothing they couldn't talk about. Finn didn't know how he could show her how much that meant to him.

Rachel patted on the place of her bed next to her, and Finn sat down.

"How do you feel about Harvard?", she asked him.

The warmth in his body was replaced by coldness. Frightened, he looked at Rachel.

"Well, I got an answer", she said, smiling compassionately.

"You know how I feel about Harvard."

"That sounds like you have a relationship with that university."

He cocked his eyebrows. "Says the one who had drawn hearts around her acceptances.", Finn smirked, looking at the pin board.

Rachel blushed. "Okay, you caught me. But you didn't answer my question."

Finn thought for a moment. "I'm happy you are happy about your acceptance. Just be happy for the both of us.", he said diplomatically.

Rachel rolled her eyes. But before she could say anything, Finn had taken her pillow and thrown it at her head. But she reacted quicker than he thought. She took the pillow, throwing it right back. Finn grabbed her by her wrists.

Her cheeks were red, her hair was a mess. Finn really wanted to kiss her, now. He let go of her and cleared his throat.

"Do you accept the acceptance?", Rachel asked after a while.

He nodded. "Yes. And which college are you going to choose?"

Rachel shrugged. "One year ago, I would have said NYADA because I was obsessed with NYC. But now… I don't know. Harvard is pretty awesome, too, and Mercedes is going to study there. And you as well. And who knows, maybe Kurt too", she said, nudging him.

Finn nodded slowly. "If you like New York that much, we can take my jet and fly over whenever you want to.", he said, smiling.

Rachel's eyes widened. "You have your own jet?"

He laughed. "Come on, Rachel. Whose billionaire son _doesn't_ have his own jet?"

Jokingly, she hit him with her pillow. "By the way, how is your family situation at home?"

Her glance was soft when he had told her about his grandmother, that's why the change of topic was not surprising at all to Finn.

Finn thought for a moment. "Kurt is fine, and grandfather…is grandfather. I don't see him that often, and since December, we didn't talk to each other that much."

"That doesn't sound good", Rachel mumbled.

He shrugged. "It's better like that. I'm still mad at him. Kurt and I will never forget that he didn't tell us about grandmother."

"I never got into a fight, but I think I would have punched him as well."

When he imagined petite Rachel fighting against his giant grandfather, Finn almost needed to grin. Almost.

Rachel frowned. "Everything you tell me about him makes me angry. No wonder that you are happy he is not at home."

Normally, Finn hated conversations like those. But with Rachel, it felt so normal sitting on her bed and talking about family problems.

He could get used to this.

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel wanted to know.

Finn just shook his head.

"Finn?", she asked, sounding insecure.

"I'm just glad to be here.", he croaked.

In the next moment, Rachel scooted closer to him, intertwining their fingers.

"I'm happy you are here, too.", she whispered, and his body felt warm all of a sudden.

"I won't leave that fast", he explained, looking at their hands.

* * *

Finn and Rachel had ten minutes before Hiram knocked at their door and gave them a plate of cookies. They both jumped apart, and when her dad left, he left the door wide open.

Rachel rolled her eyes. Finn and she only talked to each other, that was all.

Finn pointed at Rachel's books on her desk. "Until when do you have to read that?", he asked.

She sighed. "I should have read it sooner. Because of the gala, I have to catch up."

"Okay", Finn mumbled, taking _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ from Shakespeare. "This is the shortened form; it only has 72 pages. Puck and I tried reading that stuff. He only wanted to read it because that Puck guy in the book was called after him."

"You mean Robin Goodfellow?", Rachel grinned. Finn smirked. "Yes. Now, Puck is convinced he is a badass fairy with magical powers or something. I convinced him to leave his wand and his fake wings at home, though."

Rachel needed to laugh. "You want to do schoolstuff with me?"

"Of course", he nodded, pointing at her desk. "Do you have a second chair?"

She was so perplexed she got speechless. Finally, Rachel nodded.

"Of course." She took the second chair from her corner.

"Are you sure you want to do that with me?", she asked when she sat down next to him.

He looked up from the book, smiling. "I want to do everything with you, Rachel." After he had said those words, he grimaced. "That…that didn't sound like I wanted it to."

He blushed and Rachel's cheek also turned hot. She looked away and looked at the book in front of her.

The following two hours, they discussed _A Midsummer Night's Dream._ Although it was hard to concentrate at the beginning because Finn was sitting next to her, she got used to it after a while. Finn and Rachel discussed their opinions and once again, she noticed he was not as stupid as everyone said.

It was the opposite.

Even though he didn't want to attend Harvard, he would be an excellent student if he changed his mind.

When they were done, she leaned back, sighing.

"And now?", Finn asked.

Rachel frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, after I studied for school, I need distraction before I continue.", he explained.

"What do you do?", she asked, curious. Weird she knew Finn's darkest secrects, but not how his daily routine looked like.

"Sports or something". Finn shrugged. "Or I watch videos of bloggers who do trips."

When Rachel didn't answer, he cocked his eyebrows. "You have something to distract yourself, right?"

She shrugged. "I like watching musicals."

Finn smiled. "Of course, I should have known it. What's your favourite musical? Wait, let me guess…Funny Girl!"

Rachel laughed. "That was not hard to guess. Barbra is something like a queen to me." Her eyes widened. "I didn't tell you I talked to her yesterday for exactly…" She tried to remember it. "…two minutes and forty-six seconds", she smirked.

She still couldn't quite believe it. She had talked to her idol!

The quarterback cocked his head to the side. "That was short."

Rachel grimaced. "She needed to go to Washington to another gala, but I enjoyed each second."

Finn laughed. After that, they talked about everything. About school, Mercedes' blog, the event management team and about Finn's family. The topics got more serious though.

He told her that his grandfather had forbidden him and Kurt to visit their aunt Mildred for a reason. About the meetings where he felt like he sold his soul more and more to the devils. Rachel held his hand tightly, just listening.

At five pm, LeRoy called Rachel on her phone, telling her the food would be served in a few minutes.

Holding hands, they went to the door. Before she wanted to open it, Finn pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you", he whispered.

She didn't need to ask what for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, finally they got back together! The next chapter will be pure Finchel fluff and happier themes, I promise.
> 
> See ya!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I couldn't update yesterday bc I was too busy lol
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

LeRoy's pasta tasted delicious.

When Finn swallowed his first bite, three pairs of eyes were looking at him, especially LeRoy's glance was making him nervous. Rachel's dad was just waiting for the next mistake of him which would prove he wasn't good enough for his daughter.

He cleared his throat and straightened up. "That's the best pasta I have ever eaten", he said earnestly.

Hiram smiled at him, and LeRoy's face expression softened as well.

"Finn", Hiram said, when he took a sip of his water. "Do you know what you want to do after school?"

He stiffened, but then he remembered that he didn't need to fool Rachel's family.

"I got into Harvard", he said hesitantly. "And my brother and I are already co-partners at _Hummel-Hudson's._ "

"Is it what you always wanted to do?", Hiram asked him.

Okay, Finn didn't need to fool them, but he didn't want to tell them how he felt about that, either.

"Rachel always knew what she wanted to do. I just wonder how what other McKinley students think about it.", Hiram added, smiling at his daughter who bit her lip.

"Not all students are like Rachel, I can assure you that."

"What is that supposed to mean?", she asked, a bit outraged.

"I don't know anyone who wished for Harvard or NYADA like you did. My friends also worked for it, but not as hard as you." Finn admitted. "But maybe I'm just biased."

Everyone laughed, finding funny what he just said. Finn frowned. He had been serious. He didn't expect they would laugh.

After dinner, he helped putting the plates into the dishwasher. He never would do that at home, they had staff for this work, but here, everyone was doing it, so he was helping them.

Besides, he wanted Rachel's parents to like him. He could understand her parents were skeptical. He would act like that, either.

"Do you want to join us in the living room?", Hiram asked. "Or do you need to leave, Finn?"

He shook his head. "No. No, I don't need to leave."

"If they pose questions you don't want to answer, just say nothing", Rachel whispered into his ear. "And sorry about what happened during dinner."

"Everything fine", Finn whispered back. "I like your parents." That sentence made her smile. He would like to touch and kiss her, but at that moment, the family entered the living room.

LeRoy sat down at the sofa, and Rachel sat next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. His face expression softened. Finn frowned. That's how his grandfather should act instead of considering his family members business partners he could use for his own goals.

"Sit down, Finn", LeRoy said, pointing at the armchair next to Hiram.

The next few hours were quite funny. They played UNO (Finn beat LeRoy), Monopoly (Rachel beat Finn) and Scrabbles (tie between Hiram and Rachel).

That family was fascinating to Finn. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and he had never felt more unburdened. For the first time in his life, he had hope that things would be okay again.

* * *

Rachel had never been more excited to drive to school than on Monday. The way was longer than usual for her, and she normally enjoyed it.

_This was just a normal school day._

_Just like always._

_Calm down._

Finn was waiting for her at the parking, smiling at her. His smile was almost shy, and Rachel found it endearing.

She could remember how he had waited for her three months ago. Back then, they had been at Sam's party and he wanted to protect her from the dumb questions of their curious schoolmates.

This time, he didn't wait, he met her halfway. He smiled even more. Yesterday, Rachel noticed how often he had smiled when he had played with her family. She couldn't believe it was the same boy how had been in her arms in December, crying. She was happy to see him like that.

"Hi", she greeted him, and brushed back a strand of hair. It was windy and her hair must look catastrophic, but Finn looked at her as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Good morning" He was so close Rachel could smell his cologne. So familiar. Warm. Like honey.

"Let's go", he said, taking her by the hand. "Is that okay?", he asked.

"More than okay", she answered, squeezing his hand.

Like that, they went to the auditorium, passing people on their way. People Rachel didn't know, but they all knew Finn. And they all seemed to care they were holding hands.

Although they were talking behind their backs, Finn didn't let go of her hand. He looked as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"By the way, I wanted to ask you out.", Finn told her before they entered the Hall.

She surpressed a smile and cocked an eyebrow instead. "Really?", she asked, pretending to be unimpressed.

Finn nodded. "Next Saturday. If you have time."

She pretended she would think about it, and Finn smiled. "You are torturing me, Rachel Berry."

Rachel needed to smile now.

"I would like to go on a date with you, Finn Hudson", she said, looking deep into his eyes.

"I hoped you would say yes.", he whispered to her when they entered the auditorium.

After the assembly, Finn brought her to her classroom. Before they reached the door, Puck, Sam and Artie passed them. Sam looked at their intertwined hands - and disappeared in the room in front of them with no comment, Puck followed suit. Rachel noticed how Finn stiffened, but he didn't let go of her hand.

"Good morning, you two", Artie said, smiling slightly.

"Morning.", Finn answered.

"Does that mean you won't be a pain in the neck anymore?", Artie asked, nodding at their intertwined fingers.

Finn flipped him the bird with his free hand. Then, he turned back to Rachel. "See you later."

She nodded and he kissed her hand. Then, he went to his classroom. She was supposed to leave as well, but she was glued to the spot.

When she thought about how they had met, she couldn't believe they were holding hands in front of all students now.

But it felt good.

And it felt right.

…

"No matter where I go", Mercedes said next to Rachel in the library. "The number one topic was Finchel."

"Finchel?", Rachel asked, amused. "They even have a shipping name?"

Mercedes nodded. "Yes. When I wanted to take a coffee in the break, everyone in the hallway was talking about you."

She scooted her chair further to the brunette. "Now, tell me everything.", she said, curious.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you", Rachel began. "But I don't know what happened myself. Yesterday, he went to my place, and…" She smiled a bit. "It was great."

"Did you talk? About everything?"

She nodded. "Yes. It was really hard. And I doubt we can pretend nothing happened. But…" Rachel took a deep breath. "I think we can get things right again. Somehow."

Between her and Finn, things weren't perfect yet and she was still scared they could somehow destroy what they had built up.

But yesterday, she was happy – and she would like to stay happy like that as long as possible.

Mercedes sighed. "That sounds great. I'm happy you are happy."

Rachel looked up. She knew that tone. "Mercedes? Is there something you want to tell me?", she asked, grinning. She had noticed that Mercedes had looked at her phone a thousand times, lately, and was smiling all the time.

"I…I kind of met someone", she admitted.

Rachel's eyes widened. "Really! Who is it? Do I know him?", she asked, excited.

Mercedes looked down. "I doubt that. We share… history classes.", she mumbled.

Rachel frowned. Mercedes and she had different history classes. She didn't know the guys there.

"Can you tell me his name? Maybe I know him?"

The black girl looked at the cupboard in front of her, thinking.

"Yes. His name is…erm…" Nervously, she brushed back a strand of her dark hair. Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. "His name is Shelves. Sheldon Shelves", Mercedes said quickly.

"Sheldon Shelves?", Rachel asked, cocking her eyebrows. What a weird name. Mercedes nodded slowly. "Erm…yes. His great grandfather has invented the…erm…the drawers. That's why his family has millions of dollars.", she added.

Why was Mercedes so nervous all of a sudden? Wasn't she used to talk about her love life? Did it feel awkward to her?

"I wanted to tell you, but you were so unhappy because of Finn. I didn't want to be reckless."

Rachel shook her head, beaming. "That's nonsense. Hey, how about we have a sleepover at my place this weekend? Maybe Kurt wants to join us? We can talk about our boys and try out hairstyles or watch musicals the entire night."

Mercedes nodded eagerly. "That sounds great. I'm gonna let you know whether I have time." She looked at the circle of chairs she and Rachel had arranged now.

"Do you think the others will like it?", she asked.

"Of course", Rachel answered. "After that hectic gala on Friday, we need to relax a bit."

Suddenly, the door opened, and Tina and Ryder entered.

"What happened here?", Tina asked, looking around, confused.

"Hi", Ryder mumbled and quickly sat down on one of the chairs. Rachel wondered whether Ryder looked paler as usual. She advoided his glance and looked at the door instead.

Mercedes looked back and forth between her and Ryder, cocking her head to the side.

Luckily, Kitty and Matt were entering the room at this moment, also confused about the circle of chairs.

Finally, Finn came walking in, cocking his eyebrows when he sat down on one of the chairs.

Next to Rachel, Mercedes cleared her throat. "Rachel and I prepared a surprise for this meeting.", she began. "I'm sure everyone knows that: You get unmotivated in the middle of the term and schoolstuff gets difficult for everyone."

The others nodded in agreement.

"I got a feeling we almost reached this point, especially after that chaos last week. Sadly, we can't really relax because the spring ball is just around the corner."

"Nevertheless, we thought we could have a different meeting today", Rachel added. "You all worked so hard and the charity gala had been a success. I think we deserved to slow things down today."

Mercedes retrieved a big bag from under the table. She opened it, retrieving two big thermos flasks and a lot of cups.

"We thought we could have a meeting with coffee, tea and cake", Rachel beamed.

"Ohhh", Kitty smirked, and Tina next to her cheered a bit. "You are so awesome!"

While Mercedes gave hot beverages to everyone, Rachel got up to get the boxes she had hidden in the corner.

"I brought muffins from Kenton's Bakery", she explained.

Tina looked at the double-chocolate and the apple crumble muffins. "They smell awesome", she gushed.

While the others devoured the muffins, Finn leaned over to Rachel. "You didn't have them in the morning."

"One of my dads had brought them over some minutes ago", she explained, smiling. "They are even a bit warm."

"These are the best muffins I have ever eaten", Kitty moaned and Matt next to her nodded in agreement. Rachel was surprised how earnest her words were.

During the last meetings, she had noticed how Kitty had changed. She had more ideas than usual and didn't give the impression that everyone and everything in this room sucked. Rachel wondered why.

"That was a great idea of yours", Tina said. "Last week had been so stressful. I not only had to take part at the organization of the gala, but also needed to give a presentation in English."

"And how did your presentation go?", Mercedes asked.

"It was bad. After some point, nothing made sense anymore because I lost the thread."

"I know what you mean", Ryder grimaced. "I also had a blackout during my last presentation."

"What was your presentation about?"

"The cold war", Ryder answered, frowning. "And yours?"

" _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ by Shakespeare."

Finn and Rachel exchanged amused glances.

"Poor thing", Kitty said. "I hate Shakespeare. Or everything that had been written before my existence."

Tina shrugged. "I didn't find it that uninteresting, actually. I have also watched the movie and I think it would be a great motto for the ball."

Rachel looked up. "Yes, that would be awesome.", she said slowly, turning to Mercedes.

"Yes", Mercedes agreed. "I have seen a magic forest at one of the decoration firms. With fake trees and a fog machine and stuff like that."

"With a swing out of wood where people could take photos?", Rachel asked.

"Yes, exactly."

"That would be so cool", Tina said, and Kitty sighed dreamily.

"Yes. And what about the dresscode?", the blonde asked.

"We could all dress up as elves or fairies", Matt suggested. All the others were staring at him. Who would have thought that the silent Matt liked mythical creatures?

"Yeah. Or maybe dresses with flowers for the women and black tie with pastel colored shirts for the guys?", Mercedes said carefully.

Tina nodded. "Perfect."

Mercedes and Rachel exchanged glances. Did they accidently find the new theme for the spring ball?

"What about the budget?", Ryder asked, frowning. For the first time that afternoon, he was looking at Rachel directly. "Sounds expensive."

"Yes, that's right. But we didn't have to spend much money for the charity gala, so our finances shouldn't be a problem.", Rachel retorted.

On the opposite of her, Finn snorted disdainfully. Rachel somehow found it endearing.

"With the money Figgins gave to us, we have an enormous budget. That should be enough."

"I'm in", Kitty said. "How about you guys?"

"Shouldn't we vote or something?", Mercedes suggested. "Everyone who wants to do _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ lifts his or her cup."

Every single cup was in the air.

When Rachel saw the relaxed faces of her team members, she felt her heart warm up. She didn't know why, but she realized that in the last thirty minutes, they all grew closer to each other.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a happier chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, this chapter is far longer than planned.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

The week was one of the best of Finn's life at McKinley. Rachel and he were spending as much time together as possible despite their different schedules.

He also ate with her at lunch break although he got the feeling Mercedes wasn't so thrilled about his presence. He feared she would sometime stab him in the eye with her spoon, but she always seemed to compose herself.

For the first time since grandmother's death, his life didn't seem colorless. Finn felt that the burden had been lifted off him even if the curious glances and the whispering behind his back were annoying from time to time.

His friends, however, seemed to be more skeptical towards Rachel than before. Because of the conflict with Sam, the mood among them stayed tensed.

So Quinn and Brittany tried to pour oil on troubled water. They invited the whole clique to Brittany's place on Friday evening. Kurt decided to pass because he and Mercedes were already invited at Rachel's place for a sleepover. At least, Kurt would be distracted, and Finn wouldn't be worried about his brother cutting himself alone in his room while he was here with the others.

Even though Finn would have liked to spend the evening with his girlfriend, he knew that he still needed to talk to Sam. For one week, they didn't talk to each other and Finn wanted to end that dumb feud. He wanted to know how Sam's family was. And how Finn could help him.

Unfortunately, Brittany's cousin Bethany invited herself to their small get together and was talking non-stop to Finn.

Bethany was the twenty-two-year-old poster child of the Pierces: engaged, student at an elite-university (Princeton) and as straight as an arrow. No one in Finn's clique could stand her because she was kissing her parents and uncle's ass constantly and treating Brittany like trash.

"Is it true you and Kurt work for _Hummel-Hudson's_ now?", she asked, sipping at her glass of Whiskey.

"Yes", Finn answered without looking at her. He retrieved his phone and saw one unread text.

_Rachel: FINN! BARBRA STREISAND JUST INVITED ME OVER TO NEW YORK CITY!_

Finn could feel Bethany staring at him and suppressed a grin, typing in an answer.

_Finn: How did that happen?_

"And how is it?", Bethany asked insistently.

"Interesting", Finn grumbled his standard answer while waiting for Rachel's text. "It's an honor."

He could hear Puck snort although he tried to hide it with his hand. Quinn, who was sitting on his lap, smacked his head.

Quinn was willing to give Puck a chance, but he needed to prove that he was a good person, first. Finn was happy for him, but he hoped Puck wouldn't mess it up.

"Talk to me, Hudson!", Bethany urged him.

Apparently, she didn't understand Finn's translated _Shut up_.

Finn's iPhone vibrated and he checked his new message. She had sent him the screenshot of Barbra's mail.

_Dear Rachel, I enjoyed our conversation on the gala. If you are in New York in the near future, I would like to continue that conversation in my office. Greetings,  
Barbra Streisand_

Finn quickly typed in the next text.

_Finn: When are we flying? We will take my jet ;)  
_

Bethany next to him nudged his shoulder. Finn turned to her, cocking his eyebrows. She noticed her mistake and scooted further away. Then, she cleared her throat.

"I mean, you and I are the only ones in this room who have achieved something in life. We need to stick together."

She laughed as if she had said something funny.

Nobody joined her.

"You are only talking crap, Bethany", Santana hissed quietly.

The peroxide blonde snorted, indignant.

"Please don't say anything, San", Brittany next to her pleaded, looking sad. When Bethany was around, which luckily wasn't that often, Brittany always acted so sad and aloof – the opposite of the Brittany the clique spent time with.

"What did you even achieve?", Santana asked, and her voice was dangerously calm. Cold chills were running down Finn's spine. Like that, she was more intimidating than when she was loud and impulsive.

"You got into Princeton – congrats. And you are engaged – double congrats. But that doesn't make you a high achiever, but an useless bitch that doesn't have guts. Or tits."

"Says the one who had a boob job", Bethany hissed. Unimpressed, Santana took a sip of her Tequila without looking away from Brittany's cousin.

"If you had even one single spark of decency, you wouldn't talk like that", the blonde went on. She tried to look bored, but her eyelids were twitching nervously.

Brushing away a strand of her dark hair, Santana glared at Bethany.

Oh oh.

Finn knew that glance. It signified: _Run. Run as fast as you can.  
_

But Bethany didn't get it. Here we go.

"Don't dare to tell me about decency, cunt. I am a _motherfucking princess_ , I could spell decency when I was in my mom's womb. And other than you, I know that people do not treat their family members like scum. That you didn't approve of the way Britt lives tells me everything I need to know about you, you dirty, little bitc…"

"Santana, be quiet!" Brittany suddenly screamed, jumping up with a pale face. Artie and Mike next to her flinched.

"You really have great friends, Brittany. Auntie and uncle have a reason to be proud of you", Bethany said sarcastically. She got up. "If you excuse me, my fiancé is calling."

They could hear how she picked up and greeted him with kisses on her display before she went out of the parlor and left the clique behind.

"Why did you do that?", Brittany asked Santana, still stiff and pale.

"She acted like an asshole.", Santana said, her face expression softened a bit.

"So? If your family says bad stuff to me, I don't get involved, either."

"That's because my family would never treat me like that. Just be happy I'm on your side"

Brittany gritted her teeth. "You only stand by me whenever it is perfect for you.", she said quietly.

Santana flinched like she had just been slapped.

Finn confusedly looked back and forth between the two girls. Was there something he didn't know? Before he could find out, Santana turned on her heel and left the parlor.

"What the…", Puck began, but then, Brittany followed her. The door was slammed behind them.

"…hell just happened?"

Quinn and the boys exchanged perplexed glances. Mike groaned. "That's not how I pictured this evening."

Sam turned the music louder to drown out the girls' loud voices.

"I hope there won't be a bitch fight. Although that would be kind of hot…", Puck thought out loud.

"Puck!" Quinn smacked him on the back of his head, shaking her head.

"So much for better person", Artie mumbled, grinning.

Finn looked over to the door. He had never seen Santana and Brittany fighting like that. When Brittany came out as bisexual, her parents needed time to process it. Because of that, she had spent more time at Santana's and the two girls were inseparable since back then.

"Something is wrong with the both of them", Sam said.

"Yeah, I also noticed that."

Sam cocked his eyebrows and for a split second, it looked like he wanted to say something, but then, he closed his mouth again and took a sip of his Whiskey-coke mix.

Finn sighed. "Sam", he began.

The blonde boy looked up.

"I hadn't been a good friend, lately", Finn said. "And I'm really sorry I only minded my own shit and hadn't been there for you."

"You had a reason", Sam answered quietly. He breathed out. "Your grandmother died. I misbehaved. I'm sorry."

"I should have noticed something was wrong in your life."

Sam shrugged.

"Now would be a good moment to tell me.", Finn said. "That's what I came for."

Sam bit his lip. "We…we are going to move."

Finn leaned forward. Did he get that right? "What?"

"My parents lost their fortune. Last week we found buyers for our estate. In March, we will move into a townhouse."

Finn stared at Sam. The words were repeating in his head, but they still didn't make sense.

"Why didn't you tell us?", Artie asked, rolling over to the blond boy. "We could have helped you."

"Artie is right", Quinn agreed. "We would have found a way so that you could keep your house."

"Yes", Puck agreed. "My parents would have bought your house and let you live there."

Sam lifted his hands. "You know exactly how proud my parents are. They would never accept it. And it would be weird if your parents would be our landlord", Sam said to Puck.

"But how did that happen?", Finn wanted to know.

Sam sighed and rubbed his head. "Dad put all eggs into one basket – and lost everything."

"Fuck", Mike said.

Finn needed to agree. He didn't know how vast the fortune of the Evans' had been, but he knew the house they were living in, and all their vacation houses as well. That they had lost all of that so fast was unimaginable to Finn.

"Is there something we can do?", he asked after a while.

Sam shrugged. "Everything is a chaos at the moment. And my dad…he is not fine."

"Just tell us if you need something, man", Puck said, and the others nodded in agreement.

"There is so much happening, lately and the school stuff is too much as well. Now, I also need to worry about scholarships for my future college. I…I have no idea how to deal with all that."

Sam buried his head in his hands. The others all exchanged worried glances, thinking the same. They were all ready to give Sam a credit for college. Every single person in this room would just give the money to him without claiming it back, but they knew Sam well enough to know he would never accept it.

"You will get through that. And we will help you", Finn said, patting his shoulder.

He looked up again. "Finn, what I said on the gala…"

"It's okay, man", Finn cut him off.

Their fight didn't matter anymore. Everything that counted was that he wanted to help Sam.

Even though he had no idea how.

* * *

When she opened the door, Rachel's heart was beating way too fast. Andy was standing in front of her, smiling.

"Ms. Berry, nice to see you again."

"Likewise, Andy", she answered and followed him to the car, clutching her clutch bag.

Finn didn't want to say anything about their date that's why she was unsure what to wear.

With Mercedes' and Kurt's help, she decided on a simple, black dress, black pumps and a silver, small purse, she wore her hair in curls.

"We will meet Mr. Hudson on location.", Andy explained when he opened the door of the limousine for her. Smiling, she looked up to Andy to thank him- but was surprised when she inspected him closer.

Andy had dark circles under his eyes, his skin was pale and colorless. And he looked as if he was elsewhere with his thoughts.

"How are you, by the way?", Rachel asked.

"I'm fine, Miss, nice of you to ask.", he said mechanically. With a polite smile, Andy closed the door and went to the driver's seat. The divider wasn't raised, and she looked at the back of his head. Could it be that his white strands of hair became more since Elaine Hummel's death?

"How long are you even working for the Hummel-Hudsons?", she asked, interested.

"For over twenty years, Miss."

Rachel nodded compassionately. "That's really long."

"I have been driving Mrs. Hummel since she had been in her thirties."

"How was she?"

For a while, Andy searched for the right words. "Fearless and courageous. She had turned the firm upside down even while she studied, much to the disdain of her parents. But it was worth it."

He took a deep breath.

"She always wanted to do something for the firm. Even when she was advanced in pregnancy she went to work." Andy cleared his raspy voice. "She had been a great woman."

A wave of empathy was hitting Rachel. Andy gave the impression that Mrs. Hummel had been really important to him. When she interpreted the glance, it could have been more than that.

"Are you really fine, Andy?", she whispered.

The chauffeur cleared his throat again. "After some time, I will be fine again, Miss. I just need time."

"Of course. If there is something I can do for you…" Rachel didn't know how she could help Andy, but it just felt right to offer him help.

"Actually, there would be something you could do for me." Rachel looked up. "Please take care of Finn."

She gulped.

"I will", she said after a while. "I promise."

…

After twenty minutes, they arrived at the destination. While Andy parked the car, Rachel looked out of the window to the façade of the restaurant in front of them. She had never been there.

Andy opened the door and helped her get out. She looked up to the plaque. _The Diamond Cuisine._

Rachel's heart was beating faster.

"Mr. Hudson is waiting for you inside. Have fun, Ms. Berry."

Rachel said a quick thank you and nervously entered the restaurant. Finn was already waiting for her. He started smiling widely.

He was wearing a white shirt and a black, perfect suit, she could see the _HH_ initials on his chest.

"You look beautiful", Finn said after having looked at Rachel closely.

She blushed. "Thanks. You do too."

They linked arms and Finn lead them further into the restaurant. It was crowded and she couldn't see a free table.

However, Finn went to the staircase which lead to the next level. When they arrived there, Rachel's breath caught.

They were in a winter garden with walls made out of glass. In the center of the room was a tree were bright lanterns were hanging.

Chains of lights were on the ceiling, giving the room an enchanted atmosphere. There was a small table next to the tree.

Finn lead her to the table. He acted like a gentleman, pulling back the chair for her so that she could sit down.

While he sat down on the opposite of her, she looked out of the window. The view was breath taking. She could see the picturesque landscape of Lima even though it was already dark.

A waiter suddenly showed up, putting a carafe of water on the table before he gave the menus to them. Rachel wondered whether she was so nervous because it was her official date with a boy – or because it was Finn who was sitting on her opposite and was smiling at her.

"It's wonderful here."

"Yes. Mom and Burt went to this place with me and Kurt sometimes. I have a lot of good memories of that place.", he answered.

When he was saying those words, Rachel was loving him a bit more and she felt warm. That he wanted to share that place with her, moved her – now that she knew how complicated his family situation was.

"Thanks you invited me to that place."

She took his hand, stroking it softly. Finn's glance darkened.

"I just wanted to show you it's not only a burden to spend time with me. It could be more than that."

"Finn - ", Rachel started, but then, the waiter came back to their table to take their orders. Rachel decided on the truffle pasta with shrimps and vegetables while Finn took the chicken filet with mashed potatoes and red chili pesto.

"By the way, I started playing the drums again", Finn told her before she could say anything.

"Really?", Rachel said.

He nodded. "I want to do what we wrote on the list. The list we…we made at Harvard." He cleared his throat. "And music seems to be a good, first step."

"That's great!", Rachel answered. "What do you play?"

Finn' corners of his mouth twitched, and he retrieved his phone.

"Okay, I tried playing some songs of musicals like Grease or something, but I think I need more practice."

"My offer still stands. We really should make music together sometime", Rachel winked. When she pictured Finn and her singing a duet, she needed to smile. "I'm sure you have a great singing voice."

Finn cocked his head to the side. "Well, I think I only want to sing under the shower."

Rachel needed to laugh, and she needed to wipe away some tears.

"What? I'm serious", Finn told her, surprised.

When the waiter brought their food, Rachel realized they were sitting there and talking for one hour and it never got awkward because they ran out of topics or something.

It was the opposite: They were talking to each other so relaxed. It had been a long time since it was like that with Finn. And she had missed it.

…

The time in the winter garden was beautiful – and it was over way too fast. Finn said he wanted to impress her dads and bring her home before midnight, something Rachel accepted begrudgingly. She could have stayed there with Finn forever.

Rachel retrieved her phone to take a photo before they left. She wanted to capture that moment. She went over to Finn.

"May I take a photo?", she asked him quietly. He nodded and wrapped his arms against her waist. Rachel turned her phone around, telling Finn to smile while she took a photo.

Contended, she looked at it. They were both standing in the winter garden behind the tree, the lights were sparkling. This photo was going to replace the one she had stolen from his Facebook account.

But she pushed that thought aside when Finn started kissing her relentlessly. She pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around his body.

Now, kisses weren't enough to her anymore. For Finn neither, she could feel it. Rachel's hands slid down his back, her knees were weaker now. She moaned into his lips, kissing him fiercer, more desperate for…more.

Suddenly, Finn pulled away. Rachel was still in a rush so that she felt dizzy. Finn pressed his forehead against hers, panting. His hands disappeared from her hips.

"We need to stop."

Rachel needed a moment until she understood what he was saying. "Why?", she whispered.

He just shook his head.

"Mr. Hudson?", the waiter suddenly said.

Finn didn't let go of Rachel but grumbled something instead.

"I just wanted to tell you that your chauffeur arrived here.", he went on, embarrassed.

Begrudgingly, Finn let go of her, but their hands found each other. As if it was the most normal thing in the world, they left the restaurant with linked hands and red faces, saying goodbye to the waiter who didn't dare looking at them again.

Andy was already waiting in front of the Rolls-Royce, holding open the door for them. Rachel thanked him and got in, Finn followed suit, sitting down next to her.

His eyes were dark, his lips were swollen and red. Rachel was sure her lips looked like his.

She felt like she had been electrified or something. She wanted to continue were they had stopped. Rachel looked around. The divider was raised, the light bulb was turned off.

 _Don't do it_ , Rachel thought.

She turned back to Finn who had followed her glance. He took deep breaths; his lips were open slightly. Obviously, the kiss also affected him like it affected her.

"Finn", she whispered.

He held his breath.

The attraction to him was overwhelming, she couldn't just sit like that for the next twenty minutes.

She came closer to him.

"Kiss me, Finn", she whispered.

Finn just shook his head, but then, he grabbed her face, pressing his lips against hers. They both needed to sigh, the world around Rachel disappeared. There was only her and Finn, no past, no future.

"I missed you so much", Rachel said quietly.

He made an almost desperate noise with his mouth and deepened the kiss. She was not prepared for what he was doing. The longing was getting more intense, there was this insatiable craving for his closeness which wouldn't disappear that fast.

Rachel pulled him closer to herself. It was happening too fast, but she couldn't help it. She needed Finn more than she needed breathing.

Finn pulled away a bit. He caressed her cheek softly. "I also missed you", he whispered, sucking on her skin. "Whenever I saw you in school, I wanted to do this."

Rachel closed her eyes, sighing. "Next time, you may do this.", she said breathlessly.

He laughed roughly. "Good to know."

Before he could add something, Rachel kissed him again. With her hands, she discovered his body. His clothes were an annoying obstacle, no matter how hot he looked in his darned suit. She opened the first button of his shirt.

"Rachel", he interrupted her.

She continued. On the fourth button, Finn took her wrist, holding it. Panting, he looked at her.

"Normally, you could always undress me. Really. Or everywhere. But…" He paused and looked around in the car. "I wanted our next time to be special. And if we don't stop now, then…I don't know…"

Rachel felt her cheeks warming up. "You are right. I didn't think about it."

Her cheeks were hot while she closed his buttons.

"Rachel", Finn whispered. "Please look at me."

She took a deep breath and looked up. She noticed that Finn's cheeks were as red as hers. And his glance was so…affectionate.

"I'm not ready either. I think we should take it slow."

"Because we have time", Rachel said.

"All time in the world.", Finn agreed.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. Finn took her hand. "Thanks you said yes. Yes to this date", he murmured.

Rachel squeezed his hand. "It was a nice date."

"Yes, it was."

Two weeks ago, Rachel never would have thought he would look at her like that or that they could have moments like these again.

"What are you thinking about?", Finn pulled her out of her thoughts, stroking her skin.

_About her love for him._

_About the fact that he was the only one for her._

_That it scared her._

"I just thought that in the future, we need to talk more about our problems.", she answered hesitantly.

Finn looked at her, determined. "We will carry it off, Rachel."

She gulped. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yes. Yes, I am."

Rachel was more than relieved. Hearing Finn saying it made it easier to believe it.

For a while, they were sitting with linked hands, saying nothing. Finn leaned back, grinning at her.

"Best date ever", he said and lifted her hand to kiss it.

Rachel nodded. "Yes, that's right."

His eyes lit up. "Come visit us tomorrow evening.", he said. "Me and Kurt. I know he would be happy to see you."

She hesitated. "Your grandfather…"

"He is in Washington this weekend. We could order sushi."

Finn seemed so nervous and excited all of a sudden and his excitement was contagious. Rachel had been at his home once, and she only had sad memories about it. She was ready to replace them with newer – and nicer ones.

"Alright. Tomorrow evening. I'm gonna bring Ben & Jerry's."

"Perfect. Andy is going to pick you up." Suddenly, Finn frowned. "Speaking of which…" He turned on the intercom. "Shouldn't we be at Rachel's, now, Andy?"

For a while, he didn't answer. Then…

"I thought you needed a bit more…privacy, Sir"

With widened eyes, Rachel looked at Finn. He looked at her, equally perplexed.

Then, she snorted with laughter.

Finn also needed to laugh and buried his face into her neck.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, Rachel visits the Hummel-Hudson bros. But the visit doesn't go as planned...
> 
> Stay tuned!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rachel saw Kurt's texts when she arrived at the estate of the Hummel-Hudsons.

_Kurt: Change of plan!_

_Kurt: Grandfather just returned._

_Kurt: Tell Andy to turn around_

_Kurt: Rachel?_

The first text arrived fifteen minutes, the last one three minutes ago, and there were also three missed calls of Finn.

Panicked, Rachel looked at her phone, thinking about what she shall do. Before she could think of something, Andy had opened the door for her. She grabbed her bags with the ice cream and let Andy help her out of the limousine.

On the grand entrance, she could already see Finn and Kurt waiting. Finn had crossed her arms while Kurt was waving at her shortly.

Rachel turned to Andy. "I don't know how long I can stay here. Are you here for a while?"

The chauffeur smiled a bit. "I'm always here, Ms. Berry. Mr. Hudson just needs to tell me, and I will drive you home." He lifted his bonnet and got into the car to drive into the garage.

Quick, Rachel went up the stairs to the entrance.

"Hi", she whispered. "I have just seen your messages. Is your grandfather here?"

Finn and Kurt nodded. Although they didn't look that happy, Finn pulled her into a short hug.

"Hey", he murmured into her neck and she got goosebumps.

After she pulled away, Kurt sighed. "Grandfather came home because he wants to have dinner with us."

"Then I should leave, right?", Rachel said, undetermined. She didn't want to give them the feeling she would leave when it got complicated.

Finn also spent the entire evening with her family. But they both looked so unhappy because they were forced to spend time with their grandfather. She didn't want to make it worse with her presence.

Finn grimaced. "I just want to spare you that torture."

In this moment, James Hudson appeared on the hallway.

When he spotted Rachel, his eyes widened for a split second.

She stiffened.

"Invite your guest in and close the door, goddammit! Where do we live, in a madhouse?"

Kurt's and Finn's eyes widened, and they turned around. For a while, they were all just staring at each other. Kurt quickly composed himself, softly pulling Rachel into the house.

He closed the door behind her, and Rachel was standing a stone's throw away from James Hudson who eyed her.

Rachel asked herself why she allowed that this man was intimidating her. She didn't care what he thought of her, she only felt anger, disdain and animosity for him – and no respect.

So she was looking at him was well. "Good evening, Mr. Hudson", she said.

"Grandfather, you surely remember Rachel", Finn added.

Mr. Hudson nodded to her. Then, he turned back to Finn and Kurt. "Dinner will be served in a few minutes. Your…friend is invited."

He turned around and left the foyer.

Next to her she could hear Kurt exhaling. "Oh gosh, Rachel", he said. "I'm sorry about that. We only wanted a relaxed evening, and now we have to agonize over grandfather. Instead of sushi we will surely eat Coq au vin." He grimaced.

Finn looked at Rachel. "It's not too late to escape."

"Your grandfather has already seen me."

"That doesn't matter."

"Would it be better for you if I left?"

Finn didn't hesitate. "Of course not. The sooner grandfather gets used to the thought that you are one of us, the better."

Warmth was flooding her body. She squeezed Finn's arm. "I won't leave. Besides, I like chicken now that I gave up the vegetarian thing." She lifted her bag. "And I got Ice Cream."

"I will take this to the kitchen", Kurt said. "You can go ahead."

Finn's hand was on Rachel's back when they entered the dining hall. The room was spacious with high walls and wide windows. Over the long table was hanging an imposing chandelier which looked better than the one of the ballrooms of McKinley. The table had been set professionally with expensive looking cutlery, pretty porcelain and wine glasses with golden accents.

But it was not only the decoration and the furniture which was different to the dining room of Rachel's home. The atmosphere was tensed and cold compared to the warm and relaxed one Rachel grew up with.

James Hudson's presence made it impossible to feel comfortable. It was unbelievable.

Rachel could never imagine living with that man under a roof.

Rachel sat down next to Finn, Kurt was on the opposite of them while James took a seat on the end of the table.

Two employees entered and put in front of each person a table of delicious smelling soup. Rachel imitated Finn and Kurt and laid the napkin on her lap.

"To a good evening", James said, raising his glass.

Finn and Kurt mumbled something agreeing and Rachel raised her glass as well.

That was the most uncomfortable evening in her life, and it just started.

The first minutes, nobody said anything. It was so silent in the room that her noises such as chewing or drinking sounded so loud to her. Rachel tried to think of a topic, but she just couldn't.

She dared looking over to Finn whose smile was a bit forced.

Finally, Kurt decided to break the silence. "The charity gala was great, right, Rachel? I have heard only positive feedback."

Rachel was so relieved he had chosen a topic where she knew what to say. "Absolutely. People donated over 200 000 dollars. That's way more than we expected."

"Wow", Kurt said. "Is Principal Figgins content?"

She nodded. "Yes, he is most of the time, luckily."

"Expect of a few exceptions.", Finn mumbled. When Rachel turned to him, he smiled into his glass.

She knew what he was thinking about. The day Figgins forced him to take part at the event management club was still in her memories like it happened the day before.

Rachel smiled back.

"Okay, maybe one exception. But it had nothing to do with me or my team."

"Rachel", James interrupted their conversation and she noticed how her grin vanished.

"As I have heard, you are really active in school."

"Yes. I'm in glee and the event management club for three years."

He nodded shortly. "Well, well."

"Rachel _leads_ the event management club", Finn said without looking up from his soup.

His grandfather ignored him. "And do you want to study?", he asked.

"I will go the either NYADA or Harvard in October."

Interested, Mr. Hudson looked up and for the first time this evening, she got the impression he noticed her.

She held her breath. She didn't want to talk about colleges with this man. It was holy to her and she didn't want someone to destroy it who had no idea how much studying at one of these universities meant to her.

"Really? What do you want to study?"

"Dramatical Arts."

"Interesting.", he answered. "And Harvard is coincidentally the same college Finn will attend. How practical."

Rachel ignored his hint. "It's a great university. The interviews at Har…" She trailed off. When they had been at Harvard, Mrs. Hummel died. Rachel looked over to Kurt who stared down his soup. "I really liked it and I can't wait until fall", she ended her sentence. She couldn't imagine how hard it was for Kurt and Finn to think about that time. But Finn next to her pretended nothing happened and ate his soup.

Eating the starter took them over an hour. During the main dish, Kurt and Rachel tried making the best out of the situation, talking about movies, music, Mercedes' blog or books. When Kurt told her he used to do ballet, James smiled minimally. But that smile disappeared fast, and Rachel thought that she could have imagined that smile.

"In _Swan Lake_ , I got the smallest minor role, but I was so proud.", Kurt remembered. He cut the chicken on his plate which had been decorated with vegetables. The cook put so many efforts in decorating so that it was a shame for Rachel to ruin it.

"I would like to see some photos."

"No, you don't", Finn mumbled. "He was one of these ugly ducklings. The photos are creepy."

"Why don't you tell Rachel you also took ballet lessons?", Kurt said, smiling naughtily. When Finn threw him an angry glance, he just shrugged, biting into a carrot.

"Really?", Rachel said, surprised. She thought Finn hated dancing.

"Kurt pretended it was so hard. He complained every day. I told him not to whine, everyone could jump in the air and spin around like that."

"So he took lessons for three days.", Kurt snorted with laughter. "You should have seen him. He was a terrible dancer. And still is."

"How long did you hold on?", Rachel asked, grinning.

"As long until Kurt promised he wouldn't complain about the lessons at home."

"You had been a really nice brother.", Rachel remarked.

"I'm trying", Finn answered.

"Luckily, he had only taken three lessons with us. Or else, I would have stopped immediately and not after one and a half years.", Kurt said.

"Why did you stop?", Rachel wanted to know.

"A lack of discipline", James answered as if Rachel had posed him the question and not Kurt.

"My grandson generally does only things that are easy for him. Instead of meeting a challenge, he gives up."

An uncomfortable silence fills the room.

Kurt's lips had turned into bloodless lines, Finn next to her clutched his fork tightly. The only one who continued eating as if nothing had happened was James Hudson. He didn't even notice he had ruined the mood in the room with his mean comment.

Rachel wondered how he could treat his so-called poster grandson like that. If he was so mean to Kurt, how did he act towards Finn, his least favorite grandchild? Honestly, she didn't want to know.

Rachel knew that Kurt would be ready to meet any challenge. She got a feeling that James didn't even know his grandson if he talked like that about him.

"I would like to see the photos anyway.", she broke the silence, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm sure you looked cute, even as an ugly duckling."

She wanted to do anything to make the boys a little bit less stressed out.

"I will show you after dinner", Kurt answered with a forced smile. He lifted his head and looked over to a painting of their family. Rachel turned around, looking at it closer.

It had been painted when Elaine was still alive, and the boys had been fourteen to fifteen years old.

"Well", Mr. Hudson suddenly said, getting up. "I have a telephone conference in a few minutes. Have a good evening." He nodded at them and left the room.

Stunned, Rachel looked back and forth between Kurt and Finn, but they didn't seem that surprised their grandfather just left.

"He just left", she whispered, looking over to the door.

"That's normal, don't bother", Kurt shrugged.

"He always finds an excuse to escape from awkward situations", Finn said and took a sip of his lemonade. "Even though he had been the one who wanted to have dinner with us in the first place. I can't remember having seen him longer than two hours in a row."

Finn snorted. "Not that I would be unhappy about it."

"I doubt he even has a telephone conference. Grandmother never would have allowed it.", Kurt mumbled.

Finn took a deep breath. "If you want to, you can leave, now.", he said, looking at Rachel. "We could end that depressing evening now and catch it up next week."

Kurt nodded. "Yes, no one here will resent it if you want to leave."

Indignant, Rachel looked back and forth between the brothers. "I won't waste that delicious food, especially not now that I'm into meat again." With the fork, she pointed at her barely touched chicken, then at Kurt.

"Besides, I won't leave before I have seen your ballet photos."

Kurt laughed and Finn shook his head, smiling.

Rachel started eating again, trying not to look like the meeting with James Hudson had fazed her. Because it had. The rest of the dinner was more relaxed, but Rachel was glad anyway when they went to Kurt's room after dessert.

Now, they were sitting on his large, comfortable sofa, looking at their photo album.

"You were so endearing", she sighed, pointing at a photo where the two boys were hugging each other tightly. "Finn and I had played a lot together, even before our parents married.", Kurt explained.

"Yes, before grandfather married grandmother, she had been married to grandfather's elder brother. But he passed away before Kurt or I were born.", Finn said.

"I didn't know that", Rachel whispered. "That's interesting."

"Joseph Hudson, grandmother's first husband, wrote in his testament that _Hudson's_ should belong to grandmother only.", Kurt went on. "This way, grandmother became the only CEO of _Hudson's_ and grandfather got nothing although he was Joseph's younger brother."

"So, after Mr. Hudson and Mrs. Hummel married, they both shared it?", Rachel asked.

Finn shook his head. "Not really. Grandmother was officially still the only CEO. Unofficially, well… it was different." He turned the page. "But we don't want to bore you with our family's story.", he changed the topic.

On the photos, she could also see younger versions of Sam, Mike, Puck, Artie, Quinn, Santana, Brittany and even of Chandler.

"Cool that you know each other for so long", Rachel said with admiration.

"Sometimes I have a feeling we are all siblings.", Kurt smiled. She nodded and looked at a little version of Finn who built a sandcastle with mini-Sam.

"Did you and Sam talk?", Rachel asked Finn.

"Yes" Finn paused. "There is so much going on in his life, now."

"Is it bad?", Kurt asked immediately.

Finn shrugged. "I promised him not to tell anyone. But if you talk to him, he would surely tell you."

Kurt frowned. "Yes, I will. I'm going to call him afterwards and offer him my help, whatever it is."

Rachel was a bit relieved that the feud between Finn and Sam seemed to be over. When she and Finn talked over the phone on her birthday, he had told her how important it was for him to spend his last schoolyear with his friends, especially with his bros. The lightheartedness had been taken away by the death of Elaine, that's why it was more important he had friends he could count on. And vice versa.

Later, Rachel said goodbye to Kurt, and Finn brought her home. Well, Andy did, but Finn drove with her in the limousine.

Even if she didn't want it: Since she met James Hudson, she felt like there was a shadow over them. She had seen him three times, now. And everytime, he had tried to drive a wedge between Rachel and Finn. She hoped Finn wouldn't allow it this time. What was about to develop between the two of them, was bigger than the influence of his grandfather.

"What are you thinking about?", Finn suddenly asked.

Rachel took a deep breath. "That I would like to have more of those evenings with you. But at the same time, I wonder…" Rachel paused.

Finn waited, looking at her. "What?", he asked after a while.

"I wonder how things will continue. For you", she whispered. "With you and your grandfather, I mean. That he tells you how you have to live your life against your will?"

Finn stared down as if there was something exciting on the floor. Finally, he slowly shook his head.

"It's not only about him", he said after a while. "It's not the lifework of my grandfather I want to take over. I…I don't want to disappoint grandma."

Rachel gasped.

She didn't think about it like that. Of course, some things had changed after the death of Elaine.

"What if I will?" Rachel recognized something in his eyes: fear. She had never seen this before.

"I'm by your side.", she whispered. These were only four small words, but they were important to her.

Finn looked at her for a long time. He seemed to get what she wanted to say with these words. The panic vanished from his glance and was replaced by hope and the same warmth she loved about him.

In the next moment, Finn took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm by your side. No matter what's going to happen."

Rachel sank back against his chest.

Together, they would find a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww...
> 
> Next time: the spring ball! But beware, it won't go off without a hitch...


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"How do you find that dress?", Rachel asked. Kurt snorted. "It looks like you someone slipped and fell on it with scissors."

"That's also what I wanted to say, white boy!", Mercedes laughed and they both high fived over Rachel's head. The three friends were sitting on Rachel's bed with her laptop, scrolling through online boutiques.

"Guys! We are supposed to look for a dress for _me_!", Rachel whined. The three of them had been shopping to search one for Rachel, but she was too picky.

The trio had been to over ten boutiques, but they had no luck. So, they were trying their luck in online shops, now.

"Grandmother would have complained about this cut. And about the color and the unmotivated lace on the décolleté."

"But it is my dress, not yours", Rachel pouted.

"Sorry, Rachel, but you won't go to an official ball with that trash", Mercedes said.

The brunette sighed. "Fine. That was dress 593."

Sullen, she laid down on her bed. "Maybe, I should leave out that ball."

Kurt put his hands on his hips. "No way! That's your last spring ball, Rachel. You need to come." He initially wanted to skip that ball too, mainly because of Blaine, but Finn convinced him to come anyway.

The brunette sighed. "But I doubt I will find a dress for me. Why can't I be a guy? They only need to wear suits which all look the same."

The chestnut-haired boy gasped, scandalized. "I can't believe you just said this!"

"Here we go…", Mercedes next to Rachel mumbled.

"Suits are as multifaceted as dresses are. Only because you can't see the difference, it doesn't mean they aren't there!", Kurt said, crossing his arms.

"By the way, do you have an outfit for the ball, Kurt?", Mercedes stopped his ranting.

He was aware what Mercedes was trying, but he decided to answer that question anyway. Kurt nodded, and his face expression softened. "Yes, I do. But actually…"

He bit his lip. He didn't know whether he wanted to say it out loud. It was a bit embarrassing.

"What?", Rachel asked, interested.

He sighed. Over the last three months, Rachel and Mercedes had become his best friends. He was sure he could trust them with that secret.

"Actually… I want to wear something different. Something daring. A kilt. But grandfather would kill me.", he finally admitted, looking down.

He could already imagine grandfather's angry face. Him telling Kurt how he had embarrassed the family. And the paparazzi chasing him like after that Adam-catastrophe. He felt sick when he thought about it.

Mercedes grinned. "I think you would totally rock that outfit!", she smiled. Rachel scratched her imaginary beard. "A kilt? What if a wore a kilt with floral design? That would be less efforts to find an outfit."

The black girl hit her with a pillow. "You serious? Hell to the no!", she screamed, indignant. Rachel hit her right back. Mercedes' eyes started sparkling. "That's it, Berry. You want war? You can have it!"

She threw a cushion to Rachel's direction, but it hit Kurt instead. He frowned. "Don't you find that childish? It took me hours to coif my hair like that", he whined, but was cut off by Rachel slamming a cushion to his face.

Ten seconds later, the trio was engrossed in a pillow fight, giggling like six-year-olds.

Five minute later, they all laid on Rachel's bed, out of breath and with red faces.

"I mean it, Kurt", Mercedes broke the silence. "If I had it my way, you could wear whatever you want to."

"Mercedes is right", Rachel agreed. "No one should be allowed to tell you what you are allowed to do and what not. As long as you don't do drastic things like killing, of course."

Kurt sighed. "I wish it would be that easy. But grandfather is determined to dictate my life. On Monday, he had asked me why I never brought home a girl."

The two girls turned to him, stunned. "And what did you say?"

He absentmindedly played with the pillow in his hands. "I told him that I just didn't find the right person yet.", he answered.

"But why was he asking, anyway?", Mercedes wondered. "As if James Hudson would care about the love life of his grandsons."

Kurt grimaced. He had to think about James' behavior towards Rachel.

"He told me he wants to expand Hummel-Hudson's. And the best way would be to do a collaboration with another successful firm. But for that, he needs a connection to another firm."

"I hope he didn't do what I think he wants you to do", Mercedes groaned.

Kurt nodded bitterly. "Yes. He wants me or Finn to engage to a wealthy girl. And he locked Quinn on to his gaze."

Rachel's eyes widened. Kurt wondered whether he should have let Finn tell her. "But don't worry. Finn refused immediately and so did I. Luckily, grandfather didn't want to pressure us. Apparently, he has better things to do."

Better things to do than to spend time with his own family, Kurt thought bitterly. Since grandmother's death, he barely spent time at home.

Kurt tried to smile. "We are here to find a dress, right? Come on, let's scroll through that website. Their dresses don't look bad."

Mercedes and Rachel exchanged glances but decided to play along anyway.

And Kurt was really grateful for that.

…

Finally, they found a dress for Rachel. It was 2 am when Mercedes clicked on the perfect one which was not only inexpensive, but also beautiful. It was [bright pink with flowers everywhere](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0033/1232/0561/products/blush-pink-long-prom-dresses-ball-gown-off-the-shoulder-lace-formal-evening-gowns-sed119_1200x1200.jpg?v=1572163341).

It looked perfect.

"I think we need to leave now", Rachel said some days later, looking at the clock of Kurt's room.

Kurt smiled. "Yes. Finn and Andy are waiting for an eternity, now. We really need to go."

"Thanks again for the beauty-program, Kurt", Mercedes said. "We really needed that after the stress with the dress.", she said and hugged him.

"Group hug!", Rachel demanded and joined them.

"Girls, you are going to destroy our fabulous outfits", Kurt laughed. "And that's the least after what you have done for me."

He really meant what he said. Thanks to the girls, he felt better than ever before. Around them, he was always happy and distracted. And now, he was convinced he had his cutting problem under control.

So he had engaged stylists who took care of their hair stylings, mani-and pedicure as well as the girls' makeup. Now, they all looked ready for the red carpet. A carpet where fairies were going to be. Or maybe Shakespeare.

Together, they went down to the foyer where Finn and Andy were already waiting. The both of them were talking, and Andy laughed. That sound moved Kurt. It was the first time since Elaine's death he had done that.

Finn turned around and looked at Rachel first. His eyes lit up, just like all the times he talked to her or looked at her.

"You all look stunning", he said.

"Of course", Kurt answered sassily, and fist bumped with Mercedes. While Kurt wore a suit with a bright blue shirt, Mercedes decided on a [white dress with red flowers](https://img.simplydresses.com/_img/SDPRODUCTS/2285419/1000/ivory-red-dress-BL-FL-PL-190501-1-a.jpg).

Finn just shrugged and immediately looked over to Rachel who span around in her dress once and smiled at him. "I really feel like a princess."

"You also look like one", Finn answered, pecking her on the cheek.

"I don't know whether I should find that great or gross", Mercedes next to Kurt mumbled.

"You find it great", Kurt answered automatically. "That's way better than to see them unhappy."

* * *

When the event management club watched how the fake trees had been built up in the McKinley hall the day before, Rachel was skeptical. They looked weird in the daylight and not enchanted at all.

But now, it had changed. The light of the lanterns and the candles, the blue and violet leaves they had spread, and the classical music made the atmosphere magical, where the guests with their elfish outfits and bright suits felt comfortable.

"That looks stunning, girls", Kurt gushed. He pointed at the swing, their hired photographer was standing in front of it, waiting to take a photo of a couple. It looked so romantical.

"We really need to take a photo together", he insisted.

But Finn seemed to have other plans. He dragged Rachel away from Kurt and Mercedes. First, Rachel thought he wanted to go to the bar, but then, he led her to the swing. Another pair was about to take a photo.

"Seriously? I remember the times you weren't in the mood for these parties", Rachel grinned. "And now you want to take a photo?"

"You know why I was not in the mood", Finn said into her ear. She got goosebumps.

"In reality, you were in the mood", Rachel said. "Admit it. It was a façade, actually, you loved the DJ at the Back-To-School party and you were just jealous you didn't hire him for your own house parties."

Finn snorted. "Of course."

He leaned over to Rachel, kissing her behind her ear. She gasped.

"You look beautiful", he mumbled, and Rachel felt his warm breath on her skin. She wanted to return that compliment when the photographer cleared his throat.

"Next", he said, annoyed. When he saw Rachel, he cocked his eyebrows, surprised.

"Oh, it's you, Rachel."

Mr. Brighton and Rachel knew each other since she started organizing the events of McKinley. He took the photos for their blog, the homepage of McKinley and Figgins' Newsletter which he sent once per month to each student.

"Good evening, Mr. Brighton.", she said.

"I have never taken a photo of you", the man thought out loud and pointed at the swing. "Sit down."

"Thanks", she mumbled and sat down while Finn stood behind her, laying his arms around her waist. Her butterflies moved whenever Finn touched her, and she hoped that feeling would never vanish.

"Smile!", Mr. Brighton said, but he really didn't need to say that, Finn's presence alone made Rachel smile.

After he had taken the photo, they got the print of the camera. Finn shook his head.

"That's so kitschy.", she laughed.

Finn grinned. "I kind of like it."

He stuffed them into his jacket. Then, he took her by the hand, dragging her to the direction of the dancefloor.

"Let's dance", he said, smiling.

Rachel cocked her eyebrows. "You want to dance voluntarily?"

He nodded and went to the dancefloor with Rachel in tow. Other couples were moving slowly to the music. Rachel even saw Puck and Quinn.

Speaking of which. "Kurt told me about your grandfather's plans about marrying Quinn", she whispered.

Finn just nodded nonchalantly. "Grandfather wants us engaged since I was ten. Don't take him serious", he reassured her. Rachel frowned. She wouldn't be sure about that. This man was a loose cannon.

"At the beginning of this year, I never would have thought to be here with you", Finn pulled her out of her thoughts. "I'm so grateful"

These words warmed her heart up. "I'm also grateful to have you, Finn."

They moved to the slow music of the orchestra. Rachel caressed Finn's neck, he pulled her closer until nothing could fit between them. She could feel his breaths on her body.

"Finn…", she whispered.

She held her breath, looking into Finn's stunning eyes and his good looking mouth.

"Rachel…", he croaked. And then, she couldn't wait any longer.

She closed their gap, so did Finn. When their mouths met, pure electricity was flooding her as usual when she was kissing Finn. She couldn't describe how a simple kiss was enough to turn her world upside down.

Rachel buried her hands in his hair and felt his moan against her lips.

"Gosh, take a room", a sharp and also annoyed voice next to them groaned.

Finn pulled away from her and she blinked. Kitty was dancing with Jake Puckerman, Puck's half-brother and sophomore. She rolled her eyes.

"We really exaggerated", Rachel said, burying her face into Finn's neck.

Suddenly, she noticed how he stiffened. "What…"

Rachel lifted her head. She turned around and followed his glaze.

Mr. Anderson just entered the dancefloor.

"Isn't that…"

"…Sebastian Smythe, Prince of Monaco", Finn ended her sentence.

"The both of them look like really close friends.", Rachel remarked, watching the duo dancing close to each other.

Sebastian smiled at him, whispering something into Mr. Anderson's ear what made him laugh. It was a shy laugh, which was different from the laughs during their lessons.

"Fuck", Finn said at the same time Mr. Anderson looked over Sebastian's shoulder and his smile vanished.

It didn't take long until Rachel realized, why.

Kurt.

He was standing near the dancefloor and had seen everything. Now, he turned on his heel and left the hall.

Rachel wanted to follow him, but Finn held her back. Before she could wonder why he had done that, he nodded to the direction Kurt had disappeared to.

Mr. Anderson was following him.

"Do you think it is a good idea?", Rachel asked hesitantly.

Finn's face expression was unreadable. "They need to talk eventually. Besides, I think he wants to be alone, now."

Given that Finn knew Kurt better than she did, she trusted him.

"I don't want Kurt to feel bad.", she mumbled.

Finn threw her a warm glance. "He will get things right. Of that I'm sure."

Rachel somehow got the feeling he was not only thinking about Kurt now. He was thinking about his own luck. He _believed_ in his own luck.

And it made Rachel happier than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a couple of chapters left, guys. Wow, time flies *_*


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter, guys!
> 
> Here we go...

Kurt regretted having come to that silly ball. He should have listened to his intuition. He knew it wouldn't be easy for him to see Blaine. But he never had expected something like that would happen.

When Blaine danced with Sebastian, so careless, and when he smiled at him, when the gap between Blaine and the prince became smaller and smaller- that had been the final straw for Kurt.

Even now, in the empty hallway without music or people around him, his heart didn't stop racing. He felt sick.

Kurt could even understand why Blaine liked Sebastian. He was attractive, royalty and ...

"Kurt?"

He slowly turned around.

Blaine was standing behind him, his jacket was open, his eyebrows were furrowed.

"What?", Kurt answered, feisty. He was tired of pretending his life was perfect. Nothing was perfect. Especially not now that Blaine was standing in front of him.

Not now that he followed him although Kurt thought he didn't even notice his presence.

Not now that he looked at Kurt like he knew what was going on in his head.

Kurt couldn't look away. "Did you have fun?"

Blaine's glance was dark. "We only danced, Kurt."

He snorted. "That looked like more than just 'dancing'."

They never had a fight, and now, Kurt knew why. It didn't feel good. It felt bad and not freeing at all to hiss at him.

"It would have been weird if I hadn't accepted his offer. People start talking behind my back."

Kurt laughed bitterly. "You almost made out with the biggest manwhore of a Prince just because people were thinking about your relationship status?"

These words were louder than intended and Blaine paranoidly looked back.

"I hate that, Blaine", Kurt said. His voice was cold, at the same time, it was trembling.

"I hate that you can't even talk to me without paranoidly looking around." Kurt balled his hands and fought back his tears.

"Do you think I'm enjoying this?", Blaine hissed.

Kurt just snorted indignantly.

"I'm trying to do the right thing for both of us!"

"The right thing?" Kurt couldn't believe he just said this. "Do you think it's the right thing to dance with other guys – while I'm watching you?"

"Do you think I like it? To stay away from you as if we never knew each other?", Blaine asked, stunned. He ruffled his hair, shaking his head. "It hurts so much, Kurt. And it gets worse every day."

"It's surely not my fault!" Kurt almost shouted those words and bit his lip. He took a deep breath.

"I don't call you anymore.", he went on quietly. "I don't talk during your lessons. Hell, I don't even look at you. What else do I have to do so that it isn't painful for _you_?"

Again, Blaine shook his head. He took a step towards the chestnut-haired student – and touched his cheek.

For a while, Kurt froze. Then, he pushed his arm away. Blaine couldn't touch him like that- if he did, it would feel like old times, and Kurt couldn't bear that any longer.

"We can't continue like that, Kurt", Blaine croaked.

"I already told you, I stick to our deal."

"So do I. But we destroy ourselves like that."

Kurt's anger vanished, and the pain stayed behind. Pain that tore him apart from inside. He couldn't breathe anymore.

"It was only one dance", Blaine whispered.

Kurt just nodded. He would like to turn away, but he just couldn't. Blaine and he – they weren't that close for such a long time. He wanted to memorize this moment before it was over.

"Nothing had changed for me, Kurt."

"What…what do you mean?"

Blaine stepped closer but didn't touch him. "I mean that you are the first thing I think about when I wake up. All day long, I think about you. When I see something funny, you are the first person I want to tell. I hear you voice in my head when I go to bed.

Gosh, Kurt, I love you.

I have already loved you when we had our first phone call. I will always love you even though I'm aware that it is hopeless."

Kurt's heart was beating so fast as if he just ran a marathon. He couldn't believe Blaine just said that.

"I'm going to change schools."

These words pulled Kurt out of his state of shock. He shook his head. "No. No way. You told me McKinley is the best that ever happened to you. You always told me you would never find a better job."

"I don't care. I want to be by your side. I want to go to a café with you, hold your hand. I want my best friend back. If I have to take a less-paid job, so be it."

Again, Kurt shook his head, confused. "I…that's out of question. Why all of a sudden?"

"It was no spontaneous decision. From the first day on, I think about leaving McKinley. Every morning, I wonder whether this school was worth our loss."

"But we have…" Kurt paused, unable to think clear.

"It had been our decision. That's why I didn't say anything. I didn't want to pressure you. But now…"

The tears were faster than Kurt's head. He closed his eyes and needed to sob. When Blaine touched him this time, he didn't do anything about it.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you, Kurt.", Blaine whispered, pulling him into a hug.

The longing for Blaine was unbearable. And so was the mourning about their lost friendship and relationship. Kurt pulled him closer.

"I miss grandmother. And my parents. And you. All the time", he sobbed.

"I know. And I'm sorry" Blaine caressed his back. Tears were running down his face as well.

His touch reminded Kurt of their first meeting. They hadn't been more than friends who had met online, but Blaine had held him like that as well after a stranger had talked to him about the headlines about him in the newspapers.

Kurt tried to not show how these words had hurt him, but Blaine had noticed it anyway and took him into his arms. He had whispered in his ear that everything would be alright. Just like now.

For a while, Kurt decided to devote himself to the dream, to the illusion that he might be right. And buried his face further into Blaine's neck.

But suddenly, Blaine stiffened.

"Kurt", he whispered.

Kurt pulled away a bit and followed his gaze.

Chandler was standing in the hallway. His face was pale, he incredulously looked back and forth between the both of them. His mouth opened.

But then, Chandler's face expression changed. His eyes narrowed, he gritted his teeth angrily. He turned on his heel and stormed to the direction of the McKinley Hall.

"Dammit", Kurt hissed and let go of Blaine.

"Kurt…"

He shook his head and wiped his wet cheeks. "I need to talk to him. Can we…talk on the phone later?"

Although Blaine looked shocked, warmth appeared in his gold-brown eyes which he loved so much about him.

"I will call you", Blaine said. "After the ball."

"Okay", Kurt whispered.

For a split second, he wanted to hug him again, but then, Chandler's stunned face appeared in front of his eyes, and Kurt turned around instead in order to find him.

...

He found him in front of the exit of the McKinley Hall.

"Chandler", Kurt said breathlessly and grabbed his elbow.

He turned around. "Don't touch me."

Kurt lifed his hands in surrender, shocked about his tone. Chandler had never talked like that to him. And the way he looked at him was also new: derogative and scornful. He shook his head.

"I can't believe you have done this, Kurt."

Frowning, Kurt looked at him. "I can't believe you judge me, Chandler. Or shall I remind you with which people you were in a relationship?"

Chandler flinched. "You think I'm mad at you because you sleep with your teacher?

Kurt flinched. Behind Chandler was a small group of people which had just left the hall.

"Why else?", Kurt asked quietly.

Chandler gulped. "I'm mad at you because you gave me the runaround for years."

Kurt's eyes went wide. "What?"

"You are the only one for me, Kurt. I'm in love with you for years." Chandler looked like he had just slapped him. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out anymore.

"I didn't know that", Kurt whispered. Carefully, he reached out for Chandler and touched his arm. Chandler was his friend; they knew each other since they had been little boys. To Kurt, had always been like a brother, but that was all.

If he had known that Chandler really liked him, he never would have started something with him.

"Do you want to say you were completely oblivious?", Chandler asked incredulously.

Not saying anything, Kurt nodded.

"You didn't notice that I never had been in a relationship after our relationship. You didn't notice that after the death of your grandmother, I had been there for you almost 24/7 and comforted you."

"That's what friends do for each other", Kurt whispered, fighting back his tears.

"I do that for no one.", Chandler said, his tone was bitter. "For no one but you."

Kurt stared at him, unable to move. He felt sick, at the same time, tears were running down his face. "I…I didn't want to hurt you."

Hesitantly, Chandler lifted his hand and wiped away some tears of Kurt's face. But then, his face expression hardened. "But you did."

With that, Chandler turned around and left the building.

* * *

That's definitely not how Finn pictured this evening.

Actually, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Rachel – they both only had an one-hour shift and the rest of the evening, they had no duties. Finn wanted to dance with her and kiss her as often as they were allowed to.

But then, Kurt suddenly showed up in the McKinley Hall, drenched in tears. First, they thought the conversation with Anderson didn't go well or the teacher had said something bad to him. When they found out what had happened, Finn immediately searched for Chandler.

Puck, Artie and Mike had no idea where he was, and after an eternity, Finn had found Sam. At least, the blond boy could tell him that his cousin drove home a while ago. So Finn took a taxi and told Andy to drive Kurt home. Mercedes and Rachel insisted to come with him.

Now, Finn was in front of Chandler's front door and repeatedly rang the doorbell. He was sure that Chandler was home, his limousine was on the driveway and he had seen the light in one of the rooms.

Finn rang again. And again. When he lifted his hand again, the door was opened. Immediately, he could smell alcohol. Since Chandler and Kurt had talked, only one hour had passed, but Chandler was already swaying on his feet. His blond hair was tousled, he had abandoned his glasses, and some buttons of his shirt were open.

"Of course. Kurt sends his watch dog.", he slurred.

"Actually, he didn't.", Finn admitted. "May I enter?"

Chandler opened the door wider and went up the stairs to the upper floor without turning around. There was no light in the entire mansion. Apparently, his parents weren't home yet.

Finn followed him to his room. The windows were opened, but nevertheless, the smell of alcohol and smoke was in the air. Chandler sat down on the window bench. He took a drag on a cigarette and leaned back.

"So", he started. "You are here to make me shut up?"

"I'm here because I'm worried about you", Finn answered earnestly. Although Chandler had never really been part of their clique (mainly because Chandler didn't want to), Finn cared about him. After all, they spent their childhood together.

Chandler turned around with cocked eyebrows.

"And because Kurt worries about you."

The blond boy laughed bitterly and took another drag. Next to the ash tray was a whiskey bottle which wasn't half full anymore. Finn wondered whether he really drank all of that in the past thirty minutes.

He never would have thought to see Chandler like that.

"I'm sorry, dude."

Chandler took a sip of his bottle. "I just don't get it. I don't get why."

Finn didn't know what to answer. Chandler was hoping for years to get back together with Kurt. Now, that he had found out that he had been waiting in vain, must have been devastating.

"I would have done everything for him. Everything.", Chandler went on and shook his head. He almost fell out of the window due to his dizziness, so Finn dragged him off.

"I know", he mumbled.

Chandler grabbed Finn by the arms. "You have no idea how it feels, Finn. To hope for something for years and to see everything shatter in front of your eyes."

His face was full of pain. He swayed and couldn't stand upright. Finn nudged him to his bed and made him sit down. Then, he went to the windows, closed them and the gigantic curtains.

Finn turned back to him. Chandler had buried his face into his hands, his shoulders were trembling. When he saw this, Finn just felt bad. Tht situation sucked so much, and he felt sorry for Chandler, but he needed to protect his brother. Kurt was the only one who could lose everything if the relationship with Anderson would be revealed.

So, he sat down next to the blond boy. "You can't tell anyone, Chandler", he said insistently.

Chandler just shook his head. "Do you really think I would do anything that would harm Kurt?"

"No, I don't think so."

"I just…I just thought that our relationship had been more important to him as well."

"But it had nothing to do with you, okay?"

Chandler just grumbled something and laid down on his bed.

"I'm gonna get you a glass of water", Finn said after a while.

The blond boy didn't say anything, so Finn got up and went down the stairs to the kitchen.

When he returned, Chandler hadn't moved. Finn also took a bucket to his room in case Chandler needed to puke.

"Here you are", Finn said and gave the glass to him. He took it and drank.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No. I just want to be alone."

"Okay, I will leave, then.", Finn nodded to the door.

Chandler just nodded. Then, he did something he hadn't done in ten years – he got up and pulled Finn in a hug. First, Finn was surprised, but then, he just patted his back awkwardly.

"It's gonna be alright", Finn whispered.

Chandler pulled away, avoiding his glance. It was obvious he didn't believe Finn.

* * *

It was half past two am when Finn finally arrived at home. Mercedes needed to leave one hour ago because she and her parents were going to leave early for a trip the next day.

So Rachel decided to stay at Kurt's room alone. When Finn knocked on the door and he saw Rachel next to his sleeping brother, he smiled warmly.

Carefully, Rachel got up. Finn's smile was bigger when he saw her in his shirt and Kurt's old sweatpants.

When she had closed the door behind her, she dared to say something. Kurt was so devastated after they arrived at his home and it took her and Mercedes much time to get him to sleep – she really didn't want to wake him up.

"You are still here", he greeted her.

"I told my dads that I would sleep here. Did you find Chandler?"

Finn's face fell. "He was so drunk. I don't know whether he would even remember what happened."

How reassuring, Rachel thought sarcastically.

"I trust Chandler with that", Finn went on.

Skeptical, Rachel looked at him. "Okay."

Finn looked down the hallway and back to Rachel. She took his hand and dragged him to his room where she sat down on his large bed.

"Does Kurt feel better?", Finn asked while he took off his coat and sat down next to her.

"Yes", Rachel answered. "Mr. Anderson called him, and they talked for a while."

Finn didn't seem to know what to think about that. He took a deep breath.

"What?"

He only grumbled. "I don't want Kurt to get into trouble. But I don't know how to prohibit any longer that all these secrets will get out."

"They won't", Rachel said softly, touching him on his cheek. She wished she could do more than that.

Finn looked at her with his dark eyes. "I would do anything for the people I love."

Rachel caressed his throat. "I know."

"You also are part of these people, Rachel."

She halted and gulped. There was this lump in her throat which she couldn't swallow.

"I love you", he whispered.

In his tone were so many emotions and so much pain at the same time and she couldn't breathe normally for a while.

But then, she leaned forwards and pecked him on his cheek.

"I love you too, Finn."

"Really?"

She nodded, kissing him again. It was supposed to be just a short kiss, but Finn took her neck and pulled her closer. All the words she wanted to say disappeared on her tongue when Finn opened her lips. She moaned quietly.

When he pulled away, both of them were breathless.

"Thanks you have been there for us", he mumbled.

They both laid on his bed, looking at each other. Finn caressed her cheekbones softly. Rachel could remember how it felt when he touched her for the first time: as if his touch would burn the seam of her clothes.

And it felt like that at this moment as well.

"Thanks you let me do that", Rachel whispered and stroked his forehead. She could do that forever, she loved touching his face.

They laid like that for a while. The only thing she could hear was their breaths. They couldn't stay away from each other. She needed to touch Finn all the time to know that this was real. That they found a way to get back together. That they trusted each other unconditionally.

Rachel tried but after some time, her lids became heavier and she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. Finn was there when she fell asleep, their fingers intertwined, his other hand buried in her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute! But will it stay like that? Find out in the last chapter!
> 
> BTW: And yup, there will be a third and final part of the McKinley-Academy-series with 15 - 20 chapters.
> 
> I don't know when I will be able to upload it, though.
> 
> Whatever, see you ;)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter *_*
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rachel was on her way to the cafeteria. Mercedes texted her that she was sick and wouldn't come to school, and Kurt offered to eat lunch with her. He was already waiting in the cafeteria, so she quickened her pace.

"Rachel Berry, please come to the office of Principal Figgins", the loudspeaker said.

She frowned. The conversation about the gala with Principal Figgins was after lunch break. Why did he want to talk to her now?

Rachel had a feeling that something bad must have happened. The way to his office was longer than usual.

His assistant was looking at her sternly and she entered his office with a bad feeling in her stomach pit. When she was about to greet her principal, she froze.

Hiram Berry was sitting in front of Principal Figgins. Did something happen to her other dad? Was he in hospital?

"Did something happen to dad?", Rachel asked anxiously.

"Your father is fine, Rachel", Hiram answered without looking at her.

"Sit down, Ms. Berry", Principal Figgins told her. Rachel quickly followed orders.

Figgins folded his hands, looking at his student.

"There is nothing more important than the reputation of this school. We stand for intelligence and excellence for years. When someone does something which endangers our reputation, there will be consequences. You should already be aware of that, Ms. Berry."

She gulped. "Principal Figgins, I thought the spring ball had been successful. If something went wrong, I'm really sorry, but…"

Before she could end her sentence, Principal Figgins retrieved photos from his drawer and put them on the desk.

"Those photos had been given to me from a concerned member of the parents-managing committee.", he deadpanned.

Hiram gasped and Rachel looked at the photos. They were dark, but she could see who was on the photo.

It was _her_.

She wore the green dress she had bought for this year's Back-To-School party. But she was not alone.

Next to her was a man.

Mr. Anderson.

It looked like they were kissing or something.

Rachel remembered when they had talked to each other. But they didn't stand that close to each other. She had no idea who had taken these photos, but it was obvious that this person wanted to harm her – or Mr. Anderson.

"It was a harmless situation. I…"

"Ms. Berry, I don't think you understand", Mr. Figgins cut her off. "These photos had been sent from a worried member of the parents' managing committee, and a student confirmed having seen you and Mr. Anderson together."

"But we just talked!", Rachel said, outraged.

"Rachel, watch your tone", Hiram said sternly. When Rachel looked at him, a cold shiver was running down her spine. He had never looked at her like that before. So... disappointed.

Before she could say anything, Principal Figgins continued talking, and Hiram turned away.

"During the twenty years of my work at this school, I have never seen something like that, Ms. Berry. I won't allow that the reputation of our school will be ruined due to an affair."

"I don't have an affair!", she shouted. She couldn't believe all that was about to happen. It had to be a nightmare.

"I have a boyfriend.", she went on. "I…I don't have an affair with a teacher. I would never do that, I swear."

She couldn't say that Kurt was the one who had been in a relationship with Mr. Anderson. She couldn't tell Figgins that he or Mr. Anderson were gay. Not after everything Kurt went through. She would never abuse his trust like that.

"I doubt you realize how serious this is, Rachel", Principal Figgins went on and lifted one of the pictures. "And I think it would be for the best if you left this school. As from now, you and Mr. Anderson are suspended from McKinley Academy."

Silence.

It felt like someone had just ripped her heart out of her. Time passed slowly, Principal Figgins' mouth was still moving, but she couldn't hear anything.

"You can't do that", she croaked. "I have an acceptance of NYADA and Harvard University."

Principal Figgins didn't answer. He put the photos back into an envelope. It was brown and she could see something on its back.

A black _HH_.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Impossible.

The both of them would never do it.

They never could have deceived her like that.

"Which student testified against me?", she asked breathlessly.

"That's a confidential piece of information, Ms. Berry. Would you please leave my office, now? Concerning the suspension, you will get a writing. Have a good day."

Figgins turned back to the computer in front of him, signifying her to be dismissed.

_No. Way._

"Do you know how much I worked my ass off for that school?", she blurted out.

"Don't force me to call the security, Ms. Berry."

"Just because I have a scholarship and no rich parents who could give you money when there is a rumor about me, you can't just kick me out of school!"

"How dare you, young lady?!"

"You son of a …"

"Rachel!", Hiram said sharply. He took her by the arm and dragged her out of the office.

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't be.

Shaking her head, Rachel turned to her dad. "Do you believe that? How sick does someone has to be to think of something like that?"

Hiram just shook his head and avoided her glance. "I knew something like that would happen if we sent you to that heinous school."

Rachel flinched and her eyes widened. "W-what?"

He shook his head again. "Rachel, how could you?"

"I said that I didn't do that!", she shouted. If not even her own dad believed her, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't breathe anymore.

"Dad, you need to believe me – I would never kiss a teacher."

"I never would have thought you would lie to us as well to sleep at your boyfriend's, but apparently, things had changed lately."

Rachel stared at him with a mouth wide open. Hiram took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't have anything to say to you anymore, Rachel. I'm so disappointed."

Tears were burning in her eyes. She searched for words, but there were none. Her body felt numb. The only question in her head was who had taken these pictures.

"Dad…"

"I will take the other car. Please drive home by bus.", he cut her off. "I need to talk to your dad, first."

"I didn't do that, dad."

Without another word, Hiram turned around and left.

Rachel stayed back alone.

_As from now, you are suspended from McKinley Academy._

Suspended. Now. Before she got the chance to graduate. Although the acceptance letters were on her pin board at home.

If she didn't graduate, she could forget NYADA. And Harvard.

Everything she had worked hard for for the past ten years.

She swayed to the side and held on to the counter next to her. On the hallway, a lot of students were about to head to the cafeteria. But she wasn't allowed to go to the cafeteria. She wasn't allowed to go the event management club. Or to glee.

_As from now, you are suspended from McKinley Academy._

Actually, she wasn't even allowed to stand here on the hallway anymore.

"Rachel?", a voice next to her said. Rachel looked up with her tear stained face. Finn.

When he saw how devastated she was, he took her into his arms.

"What happened?", he asked insistently.

She shook her head. Saying these words out loud was…so surreal. The only thing she could do was burying her face further into Finn's jacket.

"Principal Figgins…he just suspended me from school", she said after a while. Finn looked confused.

"Apparently, someone took photos of me and Mr. Anderson kissing."

Finn's hand froze on her cheek. "Wait, what?"

"Someone sent photos to Figgins where it looks like I would be the one who had an affair with Mr. Anderson.", she whispered and wiped her eyes.

People were staring at her, and she recognized a familiar pair of eyes behind glasses.

"That's impossible", Finn said.

"Why not?", Chandler, who just appeared, suddenly said. "You are the one who took the photos, Hudson."

Lightheaded, Rachel looked back and forth between Finn and Chandler. "What?", she whispered.

Finn didn't react. He was just staring at Chandler. The blond boy was standing by his side with a cocked head.

"Come on. Tell her", he told Finn.

"You are talking trash, Chandler", Rachel hissed, burying her fingers into Finn's arm.

Challenging, Chandler cocked his brow. "Ask him, Rachel. Ask him who has taken these photos."

Again, she looked at Finn who was standing there, not moving.

"Finn?", she whispered.

When she said his name, he looked up and gulped.

She looked into his eyes.

And panicked.

That couldn't be.

"Who took the photos?"

Finn's breath quickened. He lifted his hand to touch her, but didn't dare to do it. "It's not…"

" _Who_ , Finn?"

Finn opened his mouth and closed it again. He closed his eyes and gulped a couple of times.

When he reopened them, it felt like someone had just punched her.

"He is right, Rachel."

The floor underneath her shattered into pieces.

"It was me who had taken those photos."

And Rachel fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whether you take the last sentence literally or figuratively is your choice...
> 
> For those who don't remember the scene:
> 
> [...]
> 
> Finn alarmedly looked up. What if Anderson and Rachel were up to something? He really didn't think about that possibility. Maybe they could do something that could harm Kurt? He couldn't risk it.
> 
> After their parents had left them at their grandparents' care to do those endless business trips, Kurt was all he had. He needed to protect him even if Kurt would be pissed. [...]
> 
> He was Kurt's big brother, for god's sake; he couldn't help it.
> 
> Like on autopilot, Finn retrieved his phone from his suit jacket. He opened the camera app. The corner with Rachel and Mr. Anderson was dark.
> 
> He had laid one hand on her shoulder, talking to her really closely. If Finn looked closer, he could see that they were talking about the list on Rachel's clipboard.
> 
> That looked harmless in real life.
> 
> Finn took some photos. If he cut off the clipboard and made some adjustments, the situation could be interpreted differently on the photos.
> 
> You know, less harmless.
> 
> "Whatcha doing, Hudson?", Puck asked behind him, looking at his display.
> 
> "Make a back-up plan."
> 
> Puck frowned. "What has Berry ever done to you?"
> 
> Finn sighed deeply.
> 
> "Let's say she has seen something she was not supposed to see." Puck just looked at him for a moment, but then, he nodded.
> 
> "Okay."
> 
> "If she tells someone, Kurt will be in trouble."
> 
> Puck looked down to Mr. Anderson and Rachel who were still talking to each other. "I understand."
> 
> [...]
> 
> That was chapter 6 of High (School) Society, so before Finn and Rachel were even friends...


	20. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"Smith? Look, I have a job for you."

"What is it?"

"Due to hurricans in the South Pacific ocean, airplanes are not allowed to take off."

"I'm aware, Sir."

"That's why Carole Hudson-Hummel and Burt Hummel took their yacht to get to the US."

"And what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to manipulate that yacht. Manipulate it so that it will sink. And let it look like an accident. Make sure that these people never arrive at their destination."

"Are you sure, Sir?"

"Just do what I pay you for. You know how high your reward will be."

"Of course, Sir. I'm gonna send my best men to the Fijis. Have a good day."

Contended, the client hung up. He smiled deviously. "Good. Everything goes according to plan." He looked at the photo of a woman on his desk, caressing her face. "Are you proud of me, darling? Very soon, everything will be mine. Believe me, I will make sure of that."

He leaned back and took a sip of his Scotch, smirking diabolically.

* * *

Mercedes felt like a criminal. She was about to ditch school, pretending she was sick.

She looked over to the clock on the wall of the café and back to the cappuccino in front of her. The minutes seemed to pass so slowly.

She had never felt so criminal, not even when she stole the cookies from the porcelain box when she was seven and buried the empty box in their garden, watching her mom search for it in the entire house.

The bad conscience couldn't be compared to what she was about to do. This time, she really did something forbidden.

The excitement made her bounce up and down a bit on her chair. Maybe the coffee had been a bad choice. Now, she was even more hyper.

_Ten minutes left._

Mercedes wondered how she could tolerate that any longer. She considered to leave the coffee shop and return after thirteen minutes, pretending she just arrived. But that would be too much.

_Five minutes._

What this excitement was doing to her was crazy.

Normally she was a calm person. Normally, she didn't skip classes behind the back of her parents to meet a boy she didn't even know that much.

Absentmindedly, she looked at the pamphlets of scholarships for colleges in front of her.

The bell of the shop rang, and she looked up. Her heart skipped a beat.

He really came.

He looked over to her and Mercedes waved her hand. He smiled at her.

Slowly, he walked over to her.

He was not wearing his school uniform, but a biker jacket with a grey shirt and dark jeans. He looked totally gorgeous whatever he wore.

His smile didn't disappear when he sat down on the opposite of her.

Mercedes' heart raced. There was so much darkness in his glance she wanted to fathom. So much she _was going to_ fathom.

"Good morning, Mercedes", Sam Evans said, winking.

Mercedes beamed at him. But for now, baby steps would do as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Finn really give the photos to Figgins? Who testified against Rachel? Will she be able to graduate anyway? What will Blaine do now that he lost his job? Can you imagine who that guy was who engaged that contract killer? And what is the matter with the secrecy of Mercedes and Sam?
> 
> So many open questions which will be answered in "High (School) Society III", the last part of the McKinley-Academy-Series.
> 
> Bye for now and stay tuned...
> 
> xoxo your princess


End file.
